Neighbours child coming to play and breaking toys

[PippiLongBottom]

The neighbours child comes to play with mine regularly. The thing is each time he has been round recently he has broken something (he is 5). Yesterday he pushed DS2 (23 months) off the slide. I did the 'thats not very nice is it" thing with him. He also broke yet another toy yesterday. He isn't breaking them deliberately but he is a bit heavy handed and footed.

There are other little things like not taking his wellies off when we have repeatedly asked him to. Or scraping his feet on our new floor to get them off rather than sitting down or whatever.

Should I mention it to the parents, DS (4) is getting a bit upset now and saying X doesn't play nicely etc.

The other thing that needs mentioning is that X is on the autistic spectrum, so I'm not sure whether I need to make allowances for breaking toys or not IYSWIM.

[thisisyesterday]

my son is on the autistic spectrum, and IMO it is no excuse for breaking toys etc

yes, he may need more attention and help to learn how to treat toys than other children do, but it really isn no excuse and you shouldn't have to make allowances IMO

TBH I would probably stop having him round so often, esp if your DS is getting upset by it.
if his mum asks why then tell her

[HattiFattner]

agree with thisisyesterday. If he cannot behave and is being spiteful and your ds doesn't want him there, then don't let him in. If he cries to his mummy, you can explain what's been going on. I'm sure she will be mortified.

[PippiLongBottom]

She will be mortified thats why I am burying my head. He doesn't listen though when I ask him nicely to do/not to do something. I realise this is to do with his special needs but I have no experience in dealing with it. My nephew is autistic but he presents in a completely different way.

[purplepidjin]

Talk to the mum and ask what strategies she uses at home so you can be consistent.

Set a limit on how often he can come to play - once a week or so. It may be that "Playing at Pippi's" is his current obsession and it can be used as a reward/motivator by his (probably stressed and struggling) mum.

If your children don't want to play with him, that's not likely to be the ASD, just that they're kids and don't enjoy playing together.