Does anyone else have a really really destructive child?

[colditz]

I have been posting on this issue for 5 years, since Ds1 was 3. He has since been diagnosed with adhd and asd.

Unless he is on a computer or making a mess, he is "bored". He's extremely clumsy and disorganised. I don't buy jigsaws, board games, nice colouring sets or anything made of breakable material any more, because he will have it lost or destroyed within minutes. His brother now copies him.

in the past 24 hours, I have found toothpaste in the mouthwash, toothpaste on the door handles (deliberate, not accidental) 3 ripped up boxes, a smashed plastic cup, my computer screen covered in permanent marker (which he must have secreted on his person from somehwere else because I don't buy them), a splilt (and not cleared up or mentioned) drink and a destroyed eyeshadow. He has to have entirely clean clothes every day, there is not a hope of reusing them.

he does get DLA, which does go some way towards replacing things, but it's the work, and the state of my house. It's unlivable. I can't keep up. I've just got their dad to take them to school (we are seperated) because I need the time to get on top of the house again.

Has anyone successfully managed to ram home the idea that We Do Not Destroy Things?

He doesn't care if I am upset, and he does not care about non instant punishments.

[colditz]

Hopeful bump??

[belindarose]

Poor you. Don't have much to offer, but didn't want you to go unanswered. SEN board might be helpful. I'm sure this is really basic and you'll already have tried it if you've had a diagnosis for anwhole, but have you tried really structuring his time, with a visual schedule (even if he seems like he doesn't need one). Worked extremely well with one of my students with ADHD when they tried it at home as well as school. Very time consuming and involved for you of course, but so is all that cleaning up. Must be so wearing. Hope someone comes along with good advice soon.