how to discipline just turned 4 toddler.for something REALLY

[bumbly]

Toddler started hitting me profusely when said had to leave supermarket for being so rude to.semone i was talking too

hitting at me relentless and a rare tantrum came on

really told.him off and smacked twice as was very very naughty....out of.order..for me in my hiusehold such rudeness and violence.is a big nono...so how disxilpline what i thought was truly wrong hitting meon my arm back and lef when calml said had to leave no juice for you?

what would you do!?

[bumbly]

Sorry ypos.computer broke down using crap phone keypad

[NoTeaForMe]

So to teach him not to hit you you hit him?

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Why twice?

[LauraIngallsWilder]

How does smacking a child (twice!) teach him not to be violent?

At 4 he isn't being violent really, he was having a tantrum and hitting out was his 4yo way of expressing himself.
You are an adult however and chose to express your anger at his behaviour by hitting your son

[MrsGravy]

In that situation I would savbe the discipline until you've both calmed down. Restrain him so that he CAN'T hit you any more. Then once he's calmed down, a big talk about what happened followed by some sort of consequence.

You sometimes have to accept that you can't stop undesirable behaviour immediately, that it's a learning process you have to keep plugging away at.

I don't blame you for losing it but you were losing it with him because he lost it -and hitting him because he hit you. Very mixed messages. How can violence be a big no-no in your house if you smack him?

[LauraIngallsWilder]

I meant to add-
get yourself on a surestart behaviour course (ask health visitor or surestart worker) the course is a good opportunity to make new friends, chat about the tricky bits of parenting but best of all the course teaches you that a high % of how a child behaves is a reaction to situation he is in, how those around him are behaving.

[bumbly]

thanks for tips gravy and laura

smacks were.two.small.successions.on bum

i was smaxked as a child...remember it vividly and am no where near a violent person
a
smack is.not.violence..but that is another story!

hitting me.not.acceptable and just need to realise wait to disscipline...thkugh toddlers.forget! my only comment to gravy

[bumbly]

so if you wait to discipline...they will forget what they did wrong..

[cilantro]

Obviously smacking is not ideal. I would have gave him a stern telling calmly and told him he would have to go to timeout as soon as you get home.

Something that's helped me is explaining to my kids how they need to behave before I go to the shops and say they will have to go to bed early if they do anything naughty and/or if they do something very naughty they will have to have a timeout as soon as they get home. Eventually this should gradually make him better behaved. It's such a constant challenge though.

[bumbly]

thank you...my big challenge not so much supermarket but.i cam never speam to someone!

[bumbly]

speak that is!

[seeker]

Honestly - if violence is a big no-no, then don't hit him.

[LauraIngallsWilder]

he smacks you
you smack him

Do enlighten me on why his behaviour was wrong but yours wasn't

[Oblomov]

I smacked my 4 yr old. Not good parentring, but then you know that. When you have a really good think about it, you will realise alot of what lead up to it, and it wasn't just the isolated event on its own.
HTH