baby cries all the time - help

[sotough]

Our precious daughter, who is eight weeks, seems to cry pretty much all the time when she's awake. it's becoming really difficult to bear and i don't know what, if anything, i can do. i'm beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with her health, or whether this is fairly normal...my DS, now 3.5, was never like this...
we have a very brief period in the mornings after her first feed when she will lie peacefully and happily, and we get some smiles from her - this lasts about half an hour if we're lucky. from then on, it's pretty much all downhill, with the worst period from 4.30pm in the afternoon.
on bad days she will bawl nearly non stop for two hours in the evening, and almost nothing seems to work. (cuddles, dummies, rocking, putting her in the front pack- all to no avail. )
the one thing that does work is her bath, which she loves, and going out in the pram, which sends her to sleep, but you can't walk around all day and in any case if she sleeps all day, there's no sleep at night.
the constant bawling; plus sleep deprivation, is now really taking its toll. DH and I are constantly at each other's throats and i'm totally exhausted.
Does anyone have any similar experiences, and did it gradually just get better?

[Octaviapink]

The thing you don't mention having tried is feeding? You say she's happy after her first feed - how is she after her other feeds? Are you on a routine or do you feed on demand? If she's hungry a lot then the period you describe as the worst (4.30 onwards) would be the worst because that's when your milk's lowest. I'm not saying she IS hungry, of course, it's just that you don't mention it. My 12 week old DS has been on a rhythm for the last few weeks of wanting a feed when he wakes up AND before he goes to sleep - he seems to eat a prodigious amount! so just a suggestion.

[girliefriend]

My dd was like this and I was at my wits end - thought I was going mad so when she was 10 wks I tried Gina Ford!!! After a week I had a different baby and felt much more on top of things.

I think my dd was a baby and now a child who just thrives in a routine, she also did need a LOT of sleep! She would wake at 7am ish and normally would be back in bed by 9am for at least an hour, then she would only stay awake til midday and then needed to go back to bed and depending on how long she would sleep for would need another nap about 4pm ish and then down for the night and 7pm!!!

I found however that the better she slept in the day the better she slept at night as long as the 4pm nap was a short one.

Also chat to gp/ hv to rule out reflux or any other health issue. I would take her to get some crainopathy as will help.

If you have a local surestart centre they might do things like baby massage which I found useful for my dd.

Good luck and hope things improve soon.

[eons26]

Ours was similar to this - particularly bad from late afternoons onwards. The HV suggested it was colic, so we gave her infacol but it didn't make any difference.

We were regularly seen walking the pram round the block at midnight.

White noise worked a bit for us - we'd sit with the vaccuum cleaner on and subtitles on the tv at night. Sounds desperate I know - but it did work for a while.

I would say that it significantly changed by about 12 weeks and completely by 6 months. She then barely cried at all for a couple of years - so much so that the pre-school were worried she "wasn't able to show her feelings". She's now (age 5) much the same as her friends.

It's an incredibly stressful time - just try not to get upset by it - it will pass. Take turns with your DH to take time out. If you have any relatives who might help, get them round for a couple of hours. Someone suggested cranial osteopathy to me but by the time I got time to look into it, she'd got a lot better.

It's nothing you're doing wrong - some are just this way and I promise, it does pass.

[sotough]

thanks, esp to eons for the words of encouragement and that we're not doing anything wrong. it's nice to hear because sometimes i just feel a bit despairing.
re. feeding and routines, she is formula fed, and we are doing a relaxed/approximate version of Gina Ford. GF routines worked amazingly well for my son, but isn't working so well for her as i can't keep her awake when she wants to sleep, which can throw the routines a bit. so far she won't go longer than four hours at night without a feed....however, i am trying to be realistic - she's only eight weeks old and not a big baby (she was two weeks early and on the ninth centile at one point. now on the 25th.)
LOL at walking the pram round outside at midnight ...not had to do that yet but the time may come!

[Sistermoondance]

I haven't really got any words of wisdom, just that you are not alone! My dd is 3 months and is improving slowly.. Especially at night which means I have a bit more energy. And in between all the crying I get some lovely smiles which keep me going. I have asked for some advice on here too so you may want to check out some responses if you haven't already.

I have found though that the more I can encourage naps- even walking her for a couple of hours the less screamy she is. Unfortunately she still goes from a little grumpy to screaming inconsolably in seconds and can take ages (sometimes hours to settle).

[rickymummy]

Hi

My eldest was like this. He cried from 4pm to 10pm every single night from 2 weeks, and it was just exhausting. We tried everything - the only thing that stopped him was driving round and round the block.

I do remember that 5 - 7 weeks was the worst, but it started to ease at 12 weeks, and stopped completely and quite suddenly at 13 weeks.

Sending hugs. xxx

[Karoleann]

My eldest was the same, when he wasn't sleeping he screamed. We paid for a private paed appointment just to make sure that everything was okay and he suggested reflux/collic. Rx for a couple of gaviscon type things made no difference and he eventually suggested that some babies are just like that.
Cranial oesteopathy made a little bit of difference on the day he had it and he did like being massaged a bit.
We didn't get a smile til 13 weeks and they were very rare.

Two things really helped. I put him in a nursery for a couple of mornings a week when he was 4 months and he screamed for them instead - but I had a break. Eventually I also used to put him upstairs with the door shut and ignored him. As it made no difference if you picked him up or not. I think as Id had the peace of mind knowing there was nothing wrong from the paed, I found it easier to do that.

It probably lasted until 7 months badly, then he stopped being quite so grumpy at 12 months. He's 4 now and a little angel.

[CountBapula]

I'm wondering whether she might be overtired? My DS was like this - in fact, still is at 5 months. At that age he could only be awake for an hour at a time before getting screamy and impossible. GF clearly works for some babies but others get tired way earlier than she suggests - even now DS can't be awake for longer than 1hr 45 at a time without needing to sleep.

I would perhaps ditch the GF routine for a while and be led by her tired signs - I wouldn't try to keep her up if she wants to sleep. The Baby Whisperer thing of Eat, Activity, Sleep worked well for us - rather than being a by-the-clock routine (at 10am do x), you just follow that order all day and put the baby down to sleep when tired. After we figured this out, DS's mood improved immeasurably. He is still a crap sleeper, but at least he doesn't scream all the time!

[sotough]

thanks everyone. weirdly today has been totally different. for the first time she slept a five hour stretch last night without waking up to feed, and has been a different baby all day- lying contentedly on her baby gym thing for half hour stretches etc and actually seeming quite peaceful and happy.
i've no idea why the sudden change as we haven't done anything different; and i don't kid myself it will last but at least i now know she's capable of some contended behaviour, which is encouraging!

[eons26]

Glad you had a better day tough.