punched in the face

[cheeryface]

ds2 in year 7 (11) was punched in the eye at school by a year 8 boy as he was walking to the school library.
i phoned school Thursday morning to say that i wouldnt be sending ds2 back to school until they had dealt with it, i only got the attendance office who told me a teacher would call back.

its taken until this afternoon for anyone to call back and then i was told it would be looked into and i would get another call from the deputy head later this afternoon to arrange for me and ds2 to come into school.
no call.

am i right to keep him away ? he has also been threatened and frequently insulted from week 2 of starting there and is very unhappy there.

tbh im not sure i know what i want them to do except i do not feel good about ds2 being there.

what should i be saying / doing ? the teacher was a bit uppity about the fact that i wasnt sending him in , telling me it would go down as unauthorised.

[Jaybird37]

If it is a one off incident then I would not keep your son off school. I think it sends the wrong message to him. It also makes him stand out in the class.

Also, the school will need to speak to him in order to investigate the incident.

However, I do think it would be useful to arrange a meeting about the threats and insults. There should be a copy of the school's bullying policy in the parents handbook (possibly online).

There are lots of things the school can do to help your son to settle in better, for example assigning a mentor from a higher year. Your son should be involved in planning what would be helpful to him.

[NeverendingStoryteller]

Tell the school that this is a case of assault (which it is) and if they do not deal with it in a timely way - immediately- you will be asking the police and your solicitor to get involved. Tell them when you expect a response (ie that someone needs to call you back by close of business on Monday).

I'm sorry this happened to your son - people are too happy to ignore the fact that the majority of children have been the victims of crime

[QueenGigantaurofMnet]

what did school say? how are they going to deal with it?

The boy is 12 and therefore criminally responsible. I would tell school that if it happens again you will be calling in the police to deal with the assault.

[Jaybird37]

I am astonished!

Of course it is wrong that your son got punched, of course the school should deal with it and take it seriously, but are you seriously prepared to give a 12 year old a criminal record for a one off incident?

Children of 12 do fight, even though they shouldn't, just as 2 year olds and 8 year olds do. Boys in particular are grappling with concepts of masculinity and machismo, as well as relative inarticulacy and a hormonal storm.

It needs to be dealt with, but I am not sure that sending a child to prison will do either him, or your son, any favours.

Do insist that the school deal with it, not the police, and do send your son to school.

[MistletoeAndWhineWithMe]

Maybe a chat from the police would shit the little bully up enough to stop him going through life thinking he can punch anyone who he takes a dislike to .

Of course he wont go to prison but a warning from the police may do him some good.

Schools are getting crapper at dealing with stuff like this because the bullies don't care about getting a bollocking from the head.

[cheeryface]

ds2 and this boy were not fighting, ds2 didnt even hit him back. i asked him what was wrong with his eye that night and he pretended he didnt know, told me 2 days later.

he has had a different boy verbally insulting him for weeks and was threatened that he'd jump him one day.
another day he came home and said he'd been spat at, that a big group of older boys stand spitting over the balconey onto people below.

the school contacted me to say they were concerned that he wasnt working in class and was spending a lot of time on his own.
i went in for a meeting and told tham all that he had been telling me, this was before he got punched.

they decided to have my son observed, although why im not really sure i understand.
they rang to tell me my son had been giving money to another boy so that he would be his friend and we arranged another meeting which they then postponed a couple of days later.

i hate seeing him miserable and i certainly dont want him getting punched again.


i feel the school dont provide a safe environment and its affecting him mentally.

i still have had no converstion with the deputy head who was supposed to call back, so come monday morning i am still in the same predicament.

[Jaybird37]

OK, so the problem is much more than a one off incident.

You definitely need to get hold of the school's bullying policy; you need to demand a meeting today or tomorrow otherwise you will be complaining to the local authority/ governors/ seeking legal advice.

ACE Ed is a good source of information and advice and can talk through a strategy for you.

link here

[Roo83]

The school really don't sound very supportive at all. Whatever the exact details are they should be returning your calls and arranging to meet with you and ds to try to resolve things. I am amazed by the schools attitude tbh

[cheeryface]

i phoned school this morning again, explained situation to receptionist, told me someone would call me back...yet again no call.

i phoned at lunchtime to be told that the teacher i needed wasnt in today and that a message would be sent to deputy head to call me and guess what...no call

phoned at 4pm apparently deputy head is off today and head of year was sent a message to call and dont know why he hasnt.
so,i asked to speak to the head, head said sorry will get the correct person to call tomorrow.

disgusted tbh

[Roo83]

Why couldn't the head deal with it? All this time your ds is off school and missing out. I think it sounds like everyone is passing the buck. How would your son feel about moving schools? Would it be possible to move him? I think I'd be as concerned about the schools lack of clear policies/procedures as I would be about the initial incident. I'm only looking at it from an outside point of view though,others may disagree. Hope you get a call back in the morning

[NeverendingStoryteller]

Hope you got your call back - have been thinking of you

[SkyBluePearl]

I'd ring the police and tell them about the black eye and the threats. Also tell the school you have contacted the police. If the school is incapable of sorting out the situation then you have to do something. The boy has to be responsible for his actions.

[perfectstorm]

I'm horrified. It's assault and your son is not the only child at risk in a school that enables this sort of atmosphere. I'd also call your MP's office, because from personal experience it's funny how fast officialdom sorts issues when you do. I would also report this to OFSTED because they are failing in a basic duty of care - the fact a safety related complaint has been made will be listed against the entry of the school in future when the reports are published online. Keeping the children in their premises safe is their first and most essential responsibility and I am genuinely appalled by what your poor son has had to deal with.

What other schools are near you? Frankly the response is as shocking as the event itself, and their total disinterest in resolving something this serious sends major alarm bells ringing. A friend's son is at a school on special measures, and when he was hit the school swung into action and handled it superbly. Their lesson planning is apparently dreadful, but at least there is no bullying to speak of. If a school under that level of pressure can get it right there, yours has bugger all excuse.