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DS is a nightmare and DH is a bit oblivious

(5 Posts)

DS is five weeks old, he cries all the time and he is driving me insane. I don't know what to do. He's BF and has had problems with wind. I'm trying infacol with some limited success, but the urge to take DS and leave him at a police station is getting stronger and stronger.

I love him to bits and pieces, but he is such hard work and it's really getting me down.

It doesn't help either that my house is a tip and I feel like DH is totally taking advantage. I do cook tea at night (because I'm hungry)and do tend to do the shopping as well (because I'm hungry and need chocolate) and tend to try and tidy as well (because it drives me mad).

I actually have spent the majority of the day contemplating murder as last night I told him we didn't have any milk or bread, he made his lunch and then didn't go out and get any. I didn't ask him to, but it just really really annoyed me as I had to go to the sodding supermarket yet again just to get bread.

How can I stop myself from comminting some sort of stress induced crime. I'm feeling really overwhelmed at the moment.

PassionKissUnderTheMistletoe Wed 01-Dec-10 14:19:47

Poor you - I don't see why your DH can't go to the supermarket and cook for you. You are still recovering from childbirth at 5 weeks!

Have you tried talking to him? Is he usually this unhelpful around the house?

Is this your first baby? You need to take it easy and concentrate on breastfeeding (on sofa, with chocolate).

It's not that he won't, I just think he hasn't thought to. He's normally very thoughtful and helpful, work has been a bit stressful for him of late and I think he's just gone a bit internal. I know I need to talk to him and explain how I feel. I just don't know how to articulate it. I have said stuff about a few little things, maybe I need to say it and explain how big of an affect it has on me.

Dotters Wed 01-Dec-10 16:12:04

I'm sorry things are hard for you. 5 weeks is still so tiny, the wind will improve, I promise, as he gets bigger and better able to cope with it. I found week 8 quite a turning point personally.

On the DH front - definitely talk to him, or if its easier, write it down for him to read. You will still have so many hormones floating about and sleep to catch up on I know its hard to find the right words sometimes.

Good luck and keep posting.

maltesers Wed 01-Dec-10 16:24:46

Can you try to tell DH how you are feeling. . .he may find this hard to understand. . .so you will have to explain fully.
IMHO Its hard for fathers to understand when they are at work all day and you have got to tolerate a screaming baby non stop.
I have 3 children , 2 grown up and a 10 yr old and been taking care of children for 30 yrs , so with experience i suggest :
You need to give DH a direct order/request, " I would really appreciate it if you can go out and get some bread/milk etc " "Please can you buy the Tea/cook the Tea/wash up etc"
"I am feeling very tired/exhausted, and very stressed with baby crying so much"
" I am totally overwhelmed with having a child to care for 24/7 , and i need you to please support me by helping more"
Take it easy, be kind to yourself, dont overdo it, just do what is necessary only.
Rest when you can as it is TOP priority during the early months of motherhood.
If motion helps, put babe in bouncy chair, sling, pram/buggy.
Tell GP/HealthVisitor how upset and frustrated you are cos baby wont stop crying. You are not alone, this is a very common problem and health team know how to help / advise.
Wishing you colic free days, good nights, and feeling better soon. Stay strong, and hang on in there. Nothing stays the same forever !! <<<hugs>>>>

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