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Night away without kids... nice idea, but don't want to go...

16 replies

Ellbell · 14/06/2005 21:18

Hi all

A while ago I did a favour for my bf and had her ds for a night so that she and her dh could attend a no-kids-invited wedding. She offered to look after my two for a night sometime in return. This seemed like a great idea, and we have arranged for her to have them for a night in July and my dh has booked a hotel for us in the Lakes. This is all a really lovely idea (lovely of bf to offer, lovely of dh to book hotel, etc.) BUT... as it gets closer to the time I keep thinking that I don't really want to go. I work full-time and so the time I spend with my dds (who are 3 and 5) is pretty special. I just keep thinking that I'd rather we did something all together as a family, rather than just me and dh going away. I'm sure it'll be nice if we do go. But... well... I'm just not happy with the idea that my dds are with a childminder till 5 most weekdays and then at the weekend I send them to stay with my friend so I can go away without them. (I know they won't view it like that, though, cos they love and adore her and her ds, so will have a whale of a time, so this 'abandoning complex' is all in my own mind.) We have been away together without them once (i.e. for one night) since dd1 was born 5 years ago, although we have both gone away individually on work things, or more rarely for pleasure. Aaargh! What should I do? I thought I'd check out opinions on here before talking to dh and risking antagonising him.... Am I being pathetic? Or am I being cruel and heartless even to consider abandoning my babies for a night? Answers on a postcard please!

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zebraZ · 14/06/2005 21:28

I totally understand how you feel but if your DH really wants a weekend with just you to himself, and if your children don't mind, then I think I would do it for his sake, it's only a couple of days. Could you be honest with him that you know you will miss the children a lot so could he please make an effort to cheer you up & distract you?

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MarsLady · 14/06/2005 21:32

Honey the babybells will be fine. It's good to have time off with your DH. Don't worry, the kids will get to do things that they don't at home, cos it's different, not cos you're a bad mum.

Go, enjoy. Enjoy your husband, let him enjoy you. It's good to remember what we were like before kids. It's not as if you do it every weekend.

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Angeliz · 14/06/2005 21:33

I'd go.
It's always when you think you don't want to go that you have a lovely time.
You'll recharge your bateries and enjoy the kids even more when you get back.
I understand why you don't want to but if you know they'll have a lovely time with her then go have some fun

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Ellbell · 14/06/2005 23:04

Well... that's pretty unanimous then!

ZebraZ... I imagine that dh will be able to be persuaded to find ways to distract me !

Thanks ladies...

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MarsLady · 14/06/2005 23:05

You're welcome

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Heathcliffscathy · 14/06/2005 23:06

marslady couldn't have put it better myself.

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Thomcat · 14/06/2005 23:19

Cruel, heartless, abandoning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No, no, NO

FFS - let your kids enjoy their weekend, what fun for them, they'll love it. Don't deprive them of it
Jesus woman, let you bloody hair down and rememebr who you are before you were a mum, and work time does not count.

GO

Have a fab time, you deserve it, your DH deserves it and your kids will have a great time.

Besides, do you want you friend to think you don't trust her?

Report back with news of the great time you all had.

TC x

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Ellbell · 14/06/2005 23:23

So... do you think I should go then, Thomcat?
Thanks! Feel better about this now!

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moondog · 14/06/2005 23:25

Remember to tell us all about it on your return (well,perhaps not all...)

Have a lovely time (your children definitely will)!

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Thomcat · 14/06/2005 23:35

Well only if you're really sure ellbell, I ean some people will think this is neglect but if you're sure..............


!!!!!!!!!!!!!




If you don't go I'm coming to gettcha!
Now get packing
xxxx

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Ellbell · 15/06/2005 10:22

Not in your condition, surely, TC...

(Reminds me of my ex-boss, who referred to my pgs as 'your interesting condition'... WTF?)

Hope all's well with you.

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Thomcat · 15/06/2005 13:19

Intersting condition! how very, very strange of him! What a nutter! LOL

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Ellbell · 15/06/2005 13:22

He was a very strange man, TC. Still is, probably, but I don't work for him any more!

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Thomcat · 15/06/2005 13:23

thank god for that!
So are you packed?

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Ellbell · 15/06/2005 13:32

Errr... not yet, TC... we're not going till 16th July! Hoping to go camping with the dds before that, but it's so f-ing cold up here at the moment that I'm wondering if that's wise!

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Thomcat · 15/06/2005 13:40

Well have a fab time when it all happens, TC x

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