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Don't want to be a mum anymore

(21 Posts)
Rottenrottenmummy Sat 28-May-05 17:38:16

They are driving me to complete distraction, the eldest (6) is obnoxious, lippy, nasty, naughty and generally not a nice child, though she is very very loving, the youngest is mardy and is always crying, doesn't eat much and spends all day complaining.

I have well and truly had enough, eldest just threw a tantrum and was crying because she didn't get her own way and I just wanted to slap her, before you fall down on me like a ton of bricks, I didn't and never do, I walked out of the room and her and her sister are now happily making a mess in the kitchen AGAIN.

DH is like my arse and not half as useful and has left me to it all day, I just feel like packing my bags and going, can't see what I'm typing here through the tears. I'm so so unhappy.

lonelyprincess Sat 28-May-05 17:40:20

Get your coat, go out for a walk or a drive. He will have to look after them and it will give you a chance to calm down.

AngelCakeUmm Sat 28-May-05 17:41:32

Take a deep breath and count to 10!

I know exactly how you feel as i feel the same sometimes and i only have one ds!

Why is your dh not helping you tell him to buck his ideas up....or just walk out get in the car/or go for a walk and leave him with the kids he will "have" to deal with them then

AngelCakeUmm Sat 28-May-05 17:42:08

great minds think alike lonelyprincess......

sorry our posts crossed

Rottenrottenmummy Sat 28-May-05 17:43:10

He has been in the bath for over an hour reading, he also left me in with them all afternoon, like he always does, he went into town this morning, but didn't think of taken one or both of them with him.

starshaker Sat 28-May-05 17:43:50

sending virtual hugs. havent experienced it with dd yet (shes 5 weeks) but used to nanny and i had to walk out the room a few times. u shouldnt have to do this on ur own tell ur dh u need some help he might just do it. this is prob not much good but im sure some1 will come along that can offer better advice

lonelyprincess Sat 28-May-05 17:46:01

Just tell him your off to get some milk and take an hour. Do it!!!!!!

Rottenrottenmummy Sat 28-May-05 17:54:12

I understand what you are saying completely, but, at this time and moment, I feel that if I go for a walk I won't come back, I might go and curl up in bed, shut the bedroom door and shove a chair against it lol, and watch a dvd.

Plus if I went out for milk and came back over an hour later he would go ballistic saying he was worried etc.

AngelCakeUmm Sat 28-May-05 17:56:38

Can i ask is he always like this?? i.e not very helpful?

tillykins Sat 28-May-05 17:59:04

tell him they are his kids as well and either he gets off his lazy a**e and acts like a husband and father, or he sods off because right now he is not only no help, he is actually making your life harder
then tell him you are going out to have a serious think and you will be back when you are ready

then get out and leave him to stew

sorry, but sometimes some men need a really good shake up

Rottenrottenmummy Sat 28-May-05 17:59:50

Its weird really, he tends to think that because he works long hours thats his lot, but, if he sees me being really really down he will start and do little things for me and then it all gets back to normal.

It really bugs me though when he sits and watches tele whilst I run about after the kids like a loon and then when I ask him to help he makes feeble excuses like he wants to finish watching sport etc.

Rottenrottenmummy Sat 28-May-05 17:59:50

Its weird really, he tends to think that because he works long hours thats his lot, but, if he sees me being really really down he will start and do little things for me and then it all gets back to normal.

It really bugs me though when he sits and watches tele whilst I run about after the kids like a loon and then when I ask him to help he makes feeble excuses like he wants to finish watching sport etc.

Rottenrottenmummy Sat 28-May-05 18:00:32

The last 3 nights dd2 has got up and it has been me to get up with her, but then he spends all day complaining that he is tired when all he has done is sit on his ring piece.

lonelyprincess Sat 28-May-05 18:03:23

Hmmm I got one of those but my relationship has got to point of no return (see my I want to leave post)

Do something now before the resentment gets so deep rooted you can't bear to be in the same room as him

Rottenrottenmummy Sat 28-May-05 18:24:31

I read your post and really didn't know what to say, I really hope that you manage to get it sorted and do what you feel is right for you. I do want to get it sorted, he is a great man, adores his kids and me, and gives me ANYTHING that my heart desires, when it comes to birthdays etc he struggles because I want nothing. But I cannot go on with this just being mummy and wifey.

starlover Sat 28-May-05 18:31:09

rottenrottenmummy.... reading your post was like reading the one I posted myself a few weeks back.
I too was at the end of my tether with a dp who did bugger all. I was so sick of hearing "i'm tired" when I'M the one who gets up in the night, up early in the morning etc etc... you know the score!

I sent him an e-mail in the end, because I am awful at the face-to-face stuff.
Basically I told him that I felt like leaving him because I just couldn't cope any more. That I resented how he had lie-ins and free weekends/evenings whereas my job was 24/7...

It made him sit up and take notice. I don't think he realised how bad it had got... because I never told him! I just battled on, feeling lower and lower until I broke...

Please have a good long talk with your DH... or write a letter... tell him exactly how you feel, and what you want him to do to help. Men just DON'T get it! they need everyhting explaining to them.

Perhaps you could arrange some family things to do at the weekend instead of him going out on his own... stuff you can ALL do.

AND, more importantly... make some YOU time... arrange an evening out with a friend or something, or an afternoon shopping...

I really hope things work out.
and i am sure you aren't a rotten mummy! if you were you;'d have walked out and not even cared!

mytwopenceworth Sat 28-May-05 19:07:24

we all get like that! i dont think theres a mum alive who hasnt had a few grrrrr moments. you are not rotten, you are a human being!
if it makes you feel better my kids drive me mental on a regular basis. when they were babies and were screaming non stop all night, i could have swung for them! at times my hand itches (to smack! - we also dont btw) and i have to lock myself in the bathroom until i calm down. i am very confident that every other mum can relate similar moments. you have nothing to feel guilty for. your dh on the other hand....................

Rottenrottenmummy Mon 30-May-05 12:03:58

Today looks like its going to be more of the same, dh has gone into town for a couple of bits but I am home with the kids (my choice waiting for a phone call from work) he refused to take either of them saying that he would be quicker on his own and that it would hurt his back if he had to push the buggy.

dd1 is being horrible, I just asked her to tidy up and she started shouting and being lippy and smacking herself on the head with the paper, she was giving me mucky lucks and banging her feet as hard as I can. I know it sounds horrid, but, I think that she is sometimes rather young for her age and her younger sisters acts more mature.

spacecadet Mon 30-May-05 12:21:43

when he gets back, get your coat and say, right im off out, bye and go somewhere anywhere, i have done this no end of times, you are only human, no ones judging you, i bet loads of people have felt like this, my dh isat work today and im at home with 4 kids so he will prob get it in the neck when he gets home.

spacecadet Mon 30-May-05 12:22:25

p.s, you are not a rotten mummy, you are a normal, albeit tired and stressed mum by the sounds of it

Leogaela Mon 30-May-05 12:56:18

I can't offer any advice. only sympathy, but it sounds as if you really need some time out on oyur own. your dh is being really selfish imo. go for a swim (or better a sauna) or a walk.

a second option would be an outing out together as a family perhaps to a park or river (feed the ducks). get the dds out of the house, burn off some energy and give you some fresh air.

What is is about men and watching sport on tv!!!!!! better for them to take the children wiht a football or cycling and do some sport themselves!

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