The trouble with mums (were like chalk and cheese)

[kazzi]

Doe's anyone else get the ump if their mum talks to them like they are 10 years old or is mine the only one whose mum does it?I hate it and have just walked out of my mums house to avoid an argument about it.I have told her how I feel before but it goes in one ear and out the other.It make's me feel like she doesn't trust me to do anything she's always done it no wonder I don't trust my own judgements at times.She is a very negative person and it drains me .I don't respect her she has no quality of life because she is this way ,but knocks me down because I am ambitious e.t.c. I can't get through to her She will never be the mum I want her to be but I just can't accept it.How can I?

[doormat]

Kazzi my mum is exactly the same. She is always critizing me for doing this, that and the other. I really think that is what mums are for!!!!Very rare I get any praise.I have sworn that I will not be like that towards my children. Maybe it is coz I never lived up to her expectations. But I could not give a toss!!Also being the eldest doesnt help neither.I have to be THERE for the others. Dont get me wrong she and I have a good relationship but I cant go to her with any probs as she is not approachable. I wish my mum was like that. It is something you have to accept as they never change.(not that I know of anyway)

[kazzi]

I now have a dd of my own and swear I will never be this way with her I want her to grow into a confident woman.I too am the eldest of two and I have to be there for every one.It dosen't help that my best friends mum is always there for her they are so proud of her she babysits all the time so her and her husband can be together does her ironing for her when shes bogged down and is just there to support her whenever she needs it.My friend is just so together I have no support and it really gets me down and makes me feel so alone at times.Doormat thankyou for posting to me.

[doormat]

Kazzi I have to laugh because I also get no support whatsoever except maybe in an emergency. When I was first married to an A**hole I used to babysit younger siblings all the time with the promise of it being returned.18 years later I know of only 2 occasions that my mum has babysat while I went out.The siblings grew up then the excuse came that they have had their share of minding kids!! She would if I HAD(let me state that) to go into hospital. I know how you feel.

[sibble]

I get really jealous of friends with "normal" mums. I have decided over the years that she must be very insecure to constantly have to put me down, critisise etc. everytime we speak. I am now living abroad and she still does it every time I phone. I begrudge spending the phone bill but all hell would let loose if I didn't ring. DH knows when I have spoken to her and avoids me because I am usually ranting about something she has said. She did use to look after DS but in the overnight bag I would have to pack everything from swimming trunks to wellies because I would have missed something "essential" and still I would have missed something. It's amazing DS is 3 and I have managed nearly 38 years without killing or maiming myself she often tells me!!! I am so useless. Could rant on all day!!! Have also made a conscious effort not to be like her to DS.

[Linnet]

My granny is like that Kazzi. She is a very very negative person. She treats me like a child puts me down in front of my daughter. contradicts everything I say to do with dd, i.e no fizzy drinks, not to many sweets etc. I know that grandparents like to spoil the grandchildren(or great grandchild in this case) but she can go over the top. I've recently got some exrta hours at work and when I mentioned it in passing, she started telling me how my dd will suffer and never see me and how money isn't the be all and end all of life. She's never had money and never will so I should be happy to live with what I have. Well, I'm sorry if I'm ambitious granny but I don't want to be in the same situation that you are in when I'm in my 70's. And it's still only a part time job so I will be there for DD most of the time anyway. When I was first considering going back to work a few years ago I mentioned trying to get a small office job. She told me that nobody would employ me as I had no experience, talk about being supportive!
I could go on but I won't and I'm sorry to rant but sometimes she really does get on my nerves. My mum was always very supportive but she died when my dd was only 4 months old and I really miss her when I need a word of encouragement.