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Dd 'attacked' in the park, what should I have done?

(18 Posts)
oliveoil Wed 11-May-05 11:51:27

A month or so ago, I was visiting my MIL with dd1 and dd2. She was running late so I went into the park until she arrived. I wheeeled the double buggy into the play area and noticed 2 women sort of shepparding another person around. The other person what looked like a restraining vest on.

Anyway, she sort of zoomed over making a beeline for the buggy. I was about to get dd1 out to go on the swings but stopped and told the other women to get her away from my daughters but they couldn't restrain her in time and she lunged forward and pinched dd1's biscuit that she had in her hand. She then had to be dragged off kicking by the women who were full of apologies.

I was v angry at this point but didn't want to frighten dd1 anymore than she was already so tried to play it down.

Anyway in the end one of the women came over to offer me some money for the biscuit, which I said well that isn't the point, why is someone who is obviously violent in a children's play area?

They left eventually, dragging the 'attacker' off.

I was left quite shaken by this thinking 'what if she had hit my daughters?' etc and am still a bit wary of going in the park.

SHould I have reported this do you think?

suzywong Wed 11-May-05 11:53:53

how awful
was the attacker an adult or another child?

I think if you can be arsed you should try and find out where these people were from and contact them and question their policies on outings etc

Nemo1977 Wed 11-May-05 11:56:43

was it a child? If they obviosuly had special needs then the ladies with the person should have had a better plan of intervention however its not really the 'attackers fault iykwim.

I used to work in brain injury rehab and some of our clients had the mentality of kids despite being adults. SO yes we used to go to parks etc but we always had certain interventions if incidents should occur.

WestCountryLass Wed 11-May-05 11:59:17

Yeah, was it an adult or a child?

fastasleep Wed 11-May-05 11:59:49

My mum worked for Henshaws, which provides housing for people with mental and physical problems... they have to 'exercise' them, and some of the people that are known to be 'borderline' violent/aggressive are often left with just the one carer, if not two people left to one carer, and they're told to take them for walks in parks... mum's only 5'2 and very petite and found it almost impossible to control them.... it's a scary thought that they can just run free! I don't know who you can complain to

fastasleep Wed 11-May-05 12:00:32

They all had the mental age of children by the way, and it's not their faults! They don't know any better at all...

oliveoil Wed 11-May-05 12:04:06

It was an adult of around 20 or thereabouts.

The women with her quite simply could not restrain her sufficiently in my view. They may have probably known she was only after the biscuit but all I saw was someone lunging at my daughter.

I didn't report it at the time because I didn't want to come across as 'lock them all away' iyswim, being in the park is obviously part of her therapy or whatever. But when I went to the park on Monday, I couldn't stop thinking about it and wondered if I should have mentioned it to someone.

Nemo1977 Wed 11-May-05 12:09:35

olive if u knew where thye were from u could complain about careers mishandling. I can understand you being upset by the incident but to play devils advocate at the same time the person was just as entitled to be in the park etc and whether u temr it 'exercising' or allowing someone to lead a good quality of life I dont believe people should be locked up at in a home due to something beyond their control. If it had been your daughter in the harness how would u have felt cos thats how i try to think of things.

oliveoil Wed 11-May-05 12:11:33

Yes, but should she have been in a children's play area?

fastasleep Wed 11-May-05 12:13:12

I termed it as 'exercising' because to me it seemed they had a pretty poor quality of life and all they did was walk them as quickly as possible through the park once a day... but then again I was only 11! Mum used to bring them round to the house to try and cheer them up sometimes.

morningpaper Wed 11-May-05 12:13:34

She wasn't actually 'attacked', her biscuit was pinched. I think your language is a bit OTT!

It wouldn't worry me personally.

fastasleep Wed 11-May-05 12:13:46

But that's where they want to be, they feel that they're children...well some do.

oliveoil Wed 11-May-05 12:20:25

Morningpaper - so you wouldn't be worried if a stranger, in a restraining vest, lunged at your double buggy containing your baby and toddler? I really and wary of going to the park now. Yes it was a biscuit, but she was completely out of control and kicking her carers.

morningpaper Wed 11-May-05 12:22:50

I'm sure I would jump at the time but there was no harm or threat of harm done, the person was just after the bickie? I would probably assume she had a mental age of a small child. It wouldn't worry me but I've worked with people with those sorts of issues - I'd rather she was was out and about than locked in a room 24 hours a day.

handlemecarefully Wed 11-May-05 12:25:12

I think her carers should have been more on the ball to avert the whole thing, and agree with you that it was frightening and I would have been very shaken. But no, I don't think you should take it further.

bundle Wed 11-May-05 12:33:51

risk assessment should be completed any time eg nursery workers take out children or carers take out vulnerable people like the one you talk about oliveoil. i expect the carers were shocked by being unable to control this person's behaviour and will adjust their practices in the future. was it obvious where they were from?

zebraX Wed 11-May-05 12:37:11

I don't think you could have done anything different, Oliveoil. Too shocking/weird.

If it were me I wouldn't have time or energy to chase this up, but if I did have time/energy, I would want to say to the women something about how they weren't adequately in control of their charge. Even if the lady isn't malicious, she sounds like an adult with an 18month old's mentality and understanding... she could have easily knocked the buggy over -- if your DD's had been hurt -- merely by her infantile-minded clumsiness in the body of an adult, with an adult's strenth & ability to do damage -- you would have every right to be irate.

It's easy in hindsight to say that the lady wasn't really violent, but you didn't know that, I can understand how frightening the incident was.

I'm sure there's a springboard in all this for a hot discussion about care in the community, and how we relate to SN/mentally ill adults when they are out & about!

oliveoil Wed 11-May-05 13:16:19

Thanks for all your responses. I thought at the time that it was right not to report it, that maybe I was being an overprotective mother etc. And I also didn't want to come across as someone ignorant of SN etc.

But the fact that I was still worrying over a month later made me wonder. Good to get the thoughts of others who are not directly involved.

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