Mothers.... aarrrggghhhh

[Libby65]

I just need to have a quick rant about my mother (well now there's a new topic - NOT ).

For some reason she irritates the life out of me sometimes. She came to pick up ds to take him to playgroup this morning, and on coming into the house she noticed the blank wall we now have near our kitchen area. She asked what I was going to put there, and I said "maybe a hutch or a baker's rack, not sure yet - I'm going to have a look around." She said "Oh no you don't want to do that. That would look terrible. Just hang a picture there." I know it sounds trivial but she ALWAYS has a negative comment to say and I can feel my blood boiling almost immediately.

Then ds was stuffing about while I was trying to put his shoes on, being really silly and showing off in front of my mother. He refused to let me put his shoes on so I raised my voice and told him that he could go to his bedroom instead of playgroup if he was going to carry on like that. So my mother steps in and starts playing with him while I am trying to tell him what to do (as if I was being too hard on him), hence his behaviour got worse. Then as she's about to walk out the door, she looks in ds' bag and says "Why isn't there a nappy in his bag??? I'm going to need a nappy for him." Well, considering he's toilet trained and has been out of nappies for about five months now, I usually only put undies and a change of clothes in the bag!!! AAARGGGHHH! She sees him at least a couple of times a week so she knows that he doesn't wear nappies anymore. Maybe it's forgetfulness on her part but she looks at me as though it's all my fault.

All of this happened in a space of about five minutes and I felt stressed as soon as she left. I don't know if she's getting worse or if I'm getting less tolerant.

Anyway I've posted enough on here lately, people are going to start thinking I'm a whinger . It certainly helps to get it out of your system though...

[whymummy]

hi libby i know what you mean,i think our mums still see us as littles girls unable to look after a baby,my mum is great but when she visits shell say things like "are taking both kids with you to the shops?can you manage?" helloooooo ive been on my own since they were born or if we in a shop shell say" watch dd" and im like "what you think ive been doing for the last 3 years?"anyway its annoying but i wish i had her near me,so i would say to you to just take her comments with a pinch of salt and enjoy having her around

[scoobysnax]

My mother often winds me up or irritates me - I try to think "don't sweat the small stuff" and she certainly helps me out a huge amount with my daughter.

As usual I have a bit of a leftfield comment on the subject - my hairdresser (gorgeous, male, twentysomething) tells me there is a new scientific development on the horizon which will allow people to remember their early years and babyhood clearly and in detail. He thinks it would be wonderful for children and adults to know how loved and adored they were by their parents in their early years especially, and that this would bring families closer together later on. This seems like a lovely idea to me - I'm sure this would help me to appreciate my mother more.

[Libby65]

I know it sounds like trivial stuff and I DO really appreciate her, but it is unbelievable how we can clash over the smallest things. We are just total opposites - she is quite 'in your face' and says what she thinks (occasionally offending people) whereas I am quieter and tend to think before I say something to someone. My dad is a bit of a people-pleaser and hates to offend anybody - I think I'm more like him - so he and my mother frequently have bouts of not getting along with each other.

I know I probably shouldn't whine about her but her tone of voice is SO accusatory when she speaks to me sometimes, it's hard not to 'bite'. Anyway she and my dad are great with babysitting so I'd better not complain anymore...

[Meanmum]

Of course you're allowed to whine about her. We can choose our friends but not our family and I'm sure we all have someone somewhere in our family who gets on our nerves at one time or another.

Luckily for me it isn't my mum but another family member.

[breeze]

My Mum is brilliant with DS best nanny ever.....but drives me nuts and has done so since I was old enough to talk (or so it seems).
I have learnt to let a lot of things go and now just laugh when she picks faults in most things I do and say. My sons trousers are either too long or too short and when they are just right she moans that it is not tucked in, etc etc. She reminds me of Goldilocks, I used to get really upset about it but now (with the help of DH, I ignore a lot more).

[ThomCat]

My Mum is wonderful, sometimes too wonderful and If ind it all a bit too much sometimes. She can't do enough and I soemtimes want to shout at her 'stop being so bloody nice'! God that sounds so hateful of me and I do hate myself for being like that, it's just that I feel like she has me on this pedalstall and I don't feel comfortable with it. My sister, her only other natural child (she has step kids) has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and it's so bad that i think my Mum sees me as her salvation, the one who's going to provide all her grandkids and have her over at Christmas! Oh I don't know, I'm just horrible! I try really hard to be as lovely back as she is to me but I always feel bad that there was an edge to my voice with her. I love her madly and wish she didn't irritate me. She just tries too hard with me sometimes and i dodn't feel like she's bingherself. Isn't it awful, our kids will be like this with us one day, what an awful thought.

[Linnet]

My mum died when my dd was 4 months old. I do miss her but sometimes I really miss her if you know what I mean. I still have my grandparents and I'm afraid to say that it's my granny who grates on my nerves with negative comments. She's so pessimistic it's unbelieveable and the things she comes out with, you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't do this, in relation to my dd makes me really mad sometimes. I don't suppose it helps that we live in the flat downstairs from them, I often wondred if we lived somewhere else and only saw her every other day and not every day things might be different.
Things that she says are, I put dd to bed to early, I don't give her enough sweets and crisps?, I don't take her out to the park often enough, the list is endless. I try to just smile sweetly and then do things the way I've always done them, and try to remember that I'm the mother not her.

[susanmt]

My Mum is so perfect I can never live up to her standards. She bakes, cooks, cleans, runs a 4* bed and breakfast, had 4 children with no pain releif, had perfect pregnancies with no sickness or problems, can put hair into beautiful bunches (a sore point - I just can't get the parting straight) and although she never criticises me you can see her itching to get in there and help - so I just let her!
I comfort myself with the thought that I cant see myself running off when dd is 12 with dh's best friend, which is what she did, leaving us all behind. I think there is a bit of displacement activity in her perfect life .......