Anyone successfully pulled out of the rat race?

[MrsDoolittle]

Dh and I have been discussing the possibility of just pulling out. Both of us are doing stupid mileage to work - 70 miles a day each!! House prices here are hideous and I would like to avoid all traffic. What's more we don't see an end in sight. This is it for how many years? I would love to have a couple more children.
So we have been thinking... just supposing we jumped out of the 'rat race'.
Has anyone done this? Anyone else thinking of this?

[Catbert]

how?

[MrsDoolittle]

This is my question exactly Catbert!!

[pupuce]

I did it 2 1/2 years ago....
Worked in the city in a senior job, commuted 1h30 every day each way, travelled to Asia and the US at least once every six weeks... fun whilst I had no kids but then had 2 kids.... posted on mumsnet for ideas of what to do next and became a doula - a MN idea..
Of course I earn a 5th, I also pay loads less taxes, we have cut down of trips but still have some.
DH was a stay at home dad and still is.
I do not regret it one bit, we have far more quality time - I also am able to raise pro-actively my kids (as before they were in nursery some of the time).

[MrsDoolittle]

This is great Ladies! Where did you move to?
What about your pensions (not that they count for much now anyway). What did you do with the time?

[dejags]

MrsD - we did it. Moved out of corporate jobs in London back to working from home in Cape Town. I do not for one second regret leaving the rat-race.

We have time for the kids, each other and life in general now. There are a few drawbacks like driving each other nuts because we have a lot less personal space, but that's a small sacrifice.

[MrsDoolittle]

dejags - I have seen your thread. Dh is a Kiwi and when it gets really tough here we talk about the possibility of moving to NZ. I love NZ but I have to be honest with myself, I know I would be hopelessly homesick. But it's still tempting though...

[Miaou]

We did it too, Mrs D. Moved from f/t jobs in Yorkshire to a small island off the west coast of Scotland. We stayed for 3 1/2 years and loved it. However at the end of last year we decided to have another child and that, along with other considerations, decided us to move back to the mainland. However, we now live in a tiny village on the west coast of Scotland, 10 miles from the nearest small town, 70+ miles from a slightly larger one, surrounded by countryside, never need to lock the doors .... etc etc I'm sure you get the picture! Dh works for two local schools, completely stress-free job, and I work from home, work which I can do around the baby when it arrives in July/Aug. We will never get back into the "rat race" again.

[mishmash]

No haven't done it but it is always tempting - would love to up sticks, sell up and move somewhere with a milder climate.

[galaxy]

Thought long and hard about it - going in with the in-laws for a move to France. Reality is, that there is no easy life so have decided to stick with our £200k mortgage and stressy jobs for now.

[MrsDoolittle]

Where could we go that would be out in the sticks and away from everything?

[Spacecadet]

Im on mat leave and cant bear the thought of going back to my job in a large teaching hospital, feel stressed just thinking about it but dont know what else to.

[Spacecadet]

You could come and live where i do mredoolittle !! I live in the fens, its in the middle of nowhere!

[pootlepod]

We moved to change our lives completely at the beginning of the year. Still getting used to it but we are pleased we did it. DH works from home 3 days and commutes for the other 2. He works flexibly so that he can do LO's bath etc and give me time to study. Money is much tighter, we have had to cut back on clothes spending etc but the charity shops are brill! Last week I went to a Virgin Vie party and couldn't really justify buying anything. I did feel a bit wistful of my previous life but had spent a lovely day playing with LO.

I know my life as a SAHM isn't wonderful all the time and there are moments that I wish life was different. I'm also aware that I may not feel this way forever but at the moment our family situation is pretty damn perfect. The move was (and still is) blooming scary but the only way we felt not to have any regrets was to give it a go. Good luck!

[Caligula]

I think it depends where you are and how much capital you've got.

I did it, three years ago. I lived in London and moved to Kent, where I bought a 3 bedroom house for 35% cheaper than the 2 bed flat I'd sold in London.

So I was able to downshift. I now earn less than a quarter of what I earned in London, but my quality of life is much better. Working out the finances of it and researching the area you want to move to are really important.

[moondog]

Galaxy...you were going to move with the in laws?? Blimey...very brave.

[bubbly1973]

mrsdoolittle, where do you live at the moment? and how much is your mortgage (dont have to answer that question, just think about it and then decide where to move to)

you dont necessarily have to be in the middle of nowhere at first, you could move to somewhere near a town,...you could move to somewhere near cardiff
in that way you have a fab shopping centre, beaches not too far away, and mountains on your doorstep, not forgetting the nightlife if you wish that

urm, this makes me sound like a welsh tourist board

[phatcat]

We've semi jumped out - moved to the Isle of Skye from London, made enough on our Docklands flat sale to buy outright. Dh runs his own software biz - customers are in the US so he works afternoons and then evenings when ds has gone to bed. I used to work up here in a small software company but gave that up last year and am expecting ds2 in 4 weeks time. I have mixed feelings about it - as with most things worth having (e.g. kids!) you get the polarised best and worst of times. When the weather's good it's fabulous, but we've just come through the worst winter that locals can recall and it's been grim at times - lots of days staying in making our own entertainment, electricity and water cut off a few times. There's not a lot to do with small kids - literally swimming, playpark and visiting friends. That's the major reason that I send ds to nursery each afternoon even though I don't work. It's also a long way away from anywhere - going to Inverness (nearest city) is a very long day out and it's hard work for friends and relatives to visit. You spend a lot of time driving places when you're in the sticks. Having said that I love the space, fresh air, security, lack of crowds and queues. It's easy to access healthcare resources, schools are good and outdoor opportunities for older kids are second to none. It's the kind of place you can let kids play out safely without worrying - no need to lock doors or cars. Very little crime. Lots of self-organised things going on in the evenings - I'm in a thriving book group for example and hope to get back into mountain biking later this year. I think however and wherever you live there are compromises to be made, you just need to decide what set of compromises suits you best at the particular stage you are at. I wouldn't go back but if money was no object I'd buy a flat in Central London for long weekends in winter and move a bit nearer to Inverness airport!

I'd say go for it but try and leave a way back in case it doesn't suit you.

[BadHair]

We left London 3 years ago and came back home to North Shropshire. On the whole it's been great - house with garden rather than boxy flat, closer to grandparents for the children, and a much better quality of life on the whole. But I would say that the difference between city and rural life is a bit of a shock. Little things like a 40 minutes drive to the nearest decent shopping town, complete lack of decent bus service, no supermarket/fast food delivery service, just odd little things likde these.
Lack of decent bus service necessitates us running 2 cars, my job involves a longer commute than I had in London and pays considerably less, although much more than if I worked locally. If you have any debts, get them cleared before you move, as you will probably have much less money coming in. We're still struggling with debts that were relatively small on our old salaries, but are proportionately huge on our more slender incomes now. |Hence my having to continue working.
On the whole I don't regret moving at all, but just wish we'd got financially sorted before we left the better money.

[Mirage]

I quit my office job to go self employed a few years back & never regretted it.Although I earn a 1/4 of what I did,I love my job & can work it around dd & the new baby when it arrives.

We are hopefully moving out of town & back to the countryside & I can't wait to go!One word of warning though,house prices are not always cheaper in the sticks-it does depend on where you are moving from & to.We are paying 30k more for a house in a tiny village than we would for one of comparable size in the town,plus it is not as big as our current house.But the pluses more than make up for the minuses.

Good luck

[welshmum]

Mrsdoolittle my dh is a Kiwi too and I know he'd love to go to NZ - even if just to try it out for a year - could you do this? I think I'd be too homesick to do it permanently but you could see if you liked the simpler life, let dh spend a bit of time at 'home' and who knows you might like it....
(I'm thinking of trying to organise this before dd starts school as I can get a year off in my job without losing it)

[JoolsToo]

yes but only because I've retired (early!!!!)

now live in Lake District in house about a quarter of the size we had in Manchester but its fab! (easier to clean too

we have 20 minute drive to nearest supermarket and 30 mins+ to nearest decent town - but its so beautiful I don't care (I suppose I might if I had littluns in tow though!)

[TomandBarbara]

been growing our own veg for years and bredding pigs ........

[MrsDoolittle]

Errr spacecadet - I know the Fens only too well!!! Where are you? What teaching hospital? N and N?