What would you do?

[bubble99]

Just had an email from an old friend who I haven't seen or spoken to for ages. Last time we spoke I was still pregnant with the twins and she was in the early stages of pregnancy with her first baby. She's emailed asking how the twins are, are they girls/boys etc. She's now 7 months pregnant and sounds happy and excited. She's an intelligent woman and I know rationally she'll realise that our horror story of Bo's botched labour and subsequent death are (I pray) not what she can expect for her own labour- but I don't want to upset her or make her anxious at this stage in her pg. What do I do? Should I contact her which means I'll of course have to tell her or should I wait until she's delivered?

[TracyK]

sorry - I don't know your poor story - but I reckon you should get in contact with her if you are that friendly with her - or maybe drop her a quick note - saying you're rushing out and you'll contact her later - just so she knows you're not avoiding her?
or if she's like I was - she'll have heard all sorts of scare stories for the last 7 months anyway - if she's intelligent she'll take it in hre stride.

[colditzmum]

I would wait until she has delivered, make excuses until then, then afterwards you can explain why, and I'm sure she will understand why you avoided her.

xx

[Dahlia]

I agree with Colditzmum. She will understand when you explain after the birth.
How are you bubble? I've been thinking about you and your family. xxxxxxxxx

[foxinsocks]

If you feel up to telling her, I would probably say something. She may find it suspicious if you don't contact her - like Tracy said, I heard loads of awful stories when I was pregnant though it is worse if it's happened to someone you know. I would say that you were thinking of not saying anything because you didn't want to upset her and hopefully, she'll then take it in her stride.

By the way, I wish you well for the outcome of the enquiry (not sure when it is). We're not far from Kingston hospital - my dd has had an operation there recently - and I really hope they put their hands up and don't cover up. (sorry a bit off topic).

[Clayhead]

My mum kept something like this from me when I was pregnant with ds and I'm glad she did, I think I coped with knowing far better after than I would have before.

[SoupDragon]

I think I'd reply saying only that Bo was stillborn and that you're not ready to talk about it. I think if you don't reply she'll worry that you've not replied IYSWIM.

[dinosaur]

I agree with SoupDragon.

Since having a very near miss with DS1 I always worry horribly about friends if they are pregnant and I don't hear from them when I'm expecting to.

[welshmum]

Bubble, I think you're going to get a mixture of responses to this one depending on the personality of the people replying. If it was me (and I'm 30 weeks pg) I'd want to know your story - if only because you'd be my friend and I'd want to be there for you. Others here are right too - you do hear all sorts of terrible stories throughout the 9 months.
I'm still thinking of you very much Bubble and hoping that you have all the support and love you need from your family and friends to cope with what happened.

[TheVillageIdiot]

Agree with SoupDragon

[NomDePlume]

I think SoupDragon is on the nail.

[magnolia1]

Hi Bubble,

I would tell her, but of course we all have our own opinions. I think if it was me who was pregnant I would still want to know if my friend had been through what you have xxx

Mechelle xx

[SofiaAmes]

A friend's sil had a stillborn baby a few months before I was due with my second and I was really upset when they told me about it and I really wished I hadn't been told. Having said that, I'm not sure how you shoudl deal with it.