I have lost the wedding thread so i am going to bash my head here about guest list nightmares

[MerlinsBeard]

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

I don't want plus ones, i don't want random relatives i last saw when i was 4, i don't want friends who are really just peole that i talk to occasionally

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

My cousin wanted me to invite her children, I said no so she refused to come to dinnre in the evening, her sister was really pissed off as she really wanted to come out and have a child free night but as other one was staying with her she couldn't. Stick to your guns.

[naturalblonde]

I refused to do plus ones. I'm not paying for dinner for some random date that a single friend has dragged along for the day that I don't know and am unlikely to ever meet again.

I agree, stick to your guns. You can't please everyone, but this is the one time you can please yourself.

[cmotdibbler]

If you are paying for it, invite exactly who you like. We didnt invite any rellies that we didn't actually know and have contact with, none of our parents friends, random girlfriends (except in the case of a few people coming to the evening do who genuinely wouldn't know that many people), and basically anyone we wouldn't invite to a party at our home.

Make your guest list and stick to it no matter what anyone says !

[Dropdeadfred]

At my wedding four weeks ago one of our guests brought his new girlfriend!! That we had never met before and probably never will as it was a casual thing and they have already split up....it probably cost us £60...if you don't want +1's make it VERY clear!!

[callmeovercautious]

MOM - do what I did. We invited immediate family - i.e Parents, Grandparents (one set left between us ) Sisters and Brothers and their DC plus our DD. I would have liked to invite one or two Aunts and Uncles and a cousin and his wife but as my Dad gave us the money he laid down only one rule and that was "be fair" He did the same with my Sister a few years ago and she had to invite all the extended family - about 40 during the day as he has very little family within commuting distance. With DH and I it would have meant over 200 guests before friends

So you see why we made our choice!

Do what you want to do. As you know from the other thread (which I will go look for!) I had 13 during the day and 75 at night. We invited lots of friends and all our work colleagues and just called it a Party. It was so much less hastle and we had a good time, I actually remember it all as well I spent some extra money on buying everyone a drink and a really good caterer who was fab, and a good DJ!

[Twiglett]

get married abroad (Italy is nice)

get them to pay their own way

you will end up with just those people who really do love you

[MerlinsBeard]

noooo i HATE abroad weddings!

its randomers i don't like (even in every day situations lol!)

The relative thing is ok, we have invited the ones who we have kept in kind of touch with (we had to do it that way for various reasons but both of us KNOW them), straight from the wedding we are having the reception - live band (free as DP is in it) buffet tea thing and then our DJ. I have said that plus ones and moaning myrtles can come AFTER the buffet, so from 8:30/9pm ish. That way i don't have to pay for them to eat if i don't know them or haven;t seen them for years. it also gets round the 'people who need to be invited' thing as well. Guest list was sorted until yesterday when DP decided that we couldn't invite this person without invited thios person, relative X from Xland has to be invited because Uncle Ys great uncles dog is coming......ARGH!

[Twiglett]

well that was a bit rude

[MerlinsBeard]

just my opinion mind you we have been invited to a wedding abraod next year. DP is going, we aren't, we just can't afford it. it would end up costing us about =£2k to all go

[Tommy]

it's all such a pain isn't it?

when we were doing ours, my aunt phoned me to ask why I hadn't invited her daughter's new partner (I didn't even know there was a new partner and said that duaghter wouldn't come if he wasn't invited (why not? )

DH and I met at work and so invited quite a few colleagues - one bloke (who was a good friend) asked us if we would invite a woman who had just started working with us as he quite fancied her....

Weddings eh? Invite who you want to invite - they will either come or not.

Think Twiglett's idea is a good one - will do that next time

[Tommy]

it's all such a pain isn't it?

when we were doing ours, my aunt phoned me to ask why I hadn't invited her daughter's new partner (I didn't even know there was a new partner and said that duaghter wouldn't come if he wasn't invited (why not? )

DH and I met at work and so invited quite a few colleagues - one bloke (who was a good friend) asked us if we would invite a woman who had just started working with us as he quite fancied her....

Weddings eh? Invite who you want to invite - they will either come or not.

Think Twiglett's idea is a good one - will do that next time

[Salleroo]

I'd go with Twiglet. In hindsite, I would have too. But I wanted the dress, marquee etc.

It was the most stressful day of my life.

Re the guestlist. DH's folks are both from huge families. While we see MIL's 6 all the time, we would have very little to do with FIL's 9. Yet they all had to come. They ended up making up over a third of all the guests. My parents paid for most of the day (I'm the only one who's given them a day out, the rest were clever enough to do it on the qt) so we didnt really have a say in the numbers, they invited their friends so DH had equivalent numbers to fill. Re +1s, if anyone was single, they came alone. On that I stood firm

My bf got married in Italy, fab wedding, only invited who she wanted there. Mind you, caused a huge family fight by not inviting one of the uncles. Took 2 years to resolve.

Weddings, aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh... run for your life

[MerlinsBeard]

i just realised how horrible i sounded!

Its purely personal re my fee;lings towards weddings abroad...

[sunnytimer]

Message withdrawn

[MerlinsBeard]

good thing is that we are limited numbers wise and as we are having a family day we will have lots of children taking up the spaces

(currently at 108 people and can have 110 in ceremony venue)

[sunnytimer]

Message withdrawn

[MerlinsBeard]

would be a good idea of we were having a gift list

[psychomum5]

you do as you want......anyone who gts miffed about not coming won;t bother you after anyway as you won;t have to see them!

flame says to only invite the people who will pretty in the pictures!

[MerlinsBeard]

if i did that then I wouldn't be invited rofl!

[sunnytimer]

Message withdrawn

[psychomum5]

MoM....you will look like a princess, as all brides do

[MerlinsBeard]

yes psycho - an ugly unphotogenic one-hence the veil (which i still need to buy!)

sunny - none bought us an engagement card pshock]

[psychomum5]

MoM.......what colour is your dress if you don;t mind my asking.

I only ask as I wore ivory and I still have my veil.....you are very welcome to borrow it for your 'something borrowed' if the colour was the right match (oh, and you liked the veil obviously, meaning me taking pics if you interested)

[MerlinsBeard]

at the moment its grey!! it's ivory but needs cleaned. i am after a short veil because i want to be able to show off the back of the dress

would worry lots about a borrowed one :S but it was a very very kind offer xxx

there is one for £24 on the bhs website

[psychomum5]

no worries, altho I would have not offered if I didn;t mean it.

it is not a long veil tho, as I had a pretty back of dress so wanted to show mine off. came to about hafway between shoulders and bum IIRC.

but £24, that is fab. mine cost £60 15 yrs ago