Help!!

[Mamamoos]

Hi, am a SAHM to 3 DC ages 11, 6 and 5 and have been since DC1 was born. Enjoy my role very much and put a lot into it, as does DH. Recently have been experiencing moments of complete rage , not just being quite angry, but literally for example, pulling one of them up by the neck of their t shirt and saying really awful, bully type things. I am ashamed and embrrased. They all play really well together and have lots of fun and obviously have their arguments and fights, which before I could ignore, but the last few weeks, they have been making me see red to the point where I feel I could lose control, esp with the older one if he is fighting with the middle one. For example today - DC1 smacked DC2's hand out of the way of something he was doing quite hard and aggressively; we were in quite a crowded place, and without thinking, I pulled him by the arm and hissed what a 'little shit' he was being. I have NEVER said anything like that before!!! He laughed, I think in disbelief but knew I was not happy. But the worse thing was I felt like hurting him back. Oh its lots of different things, and I have started nagging them daily about how they dont do this or that and how they used to be so great. Awful I know They are my absolute world,and I love them so dearly, I have no idea where this has come from. I cant even say I am PMT, but what has driven me to write is - when I was reading a story about a mummy, Daddy and 3 baby bears who told them every night "they were the best 3 baby bears in the whole world", DC2 said I wish you would say that to us. It made me feel sick as it wasnt all that long ago, I couldnt tell them that enough and I did, all the time (tho not bears obviously!!) Sorry to ramble, just had to find somewhere to get this off my chest, do not feel comfortable talking to hubbi about it quite yet.

[AvenaLife]

It sounds like the holidays have really taken their toll.

Have you been to the GP for a hormone check?

[Lazarou]

You sound tired. can grandparents take them off your hands for a bit?

[Mamamoos]

No I didnt realise there was such a thing - but maybe worth a try? Thanks for the thought.

[Mamamoos]

Lazarou, hate asking, my mum is great if needed ie we ill, doc appts etc, but they very rarely go anywhere just so we can have day off or few hours. Trouble is have planned days out every day next week with different people. But maybe that will be better.

[AvenaLife]

I'm fairly sure they can do some blood tests to check your levels. I'd go and have a chat anyway.

I get angry with ds sometimes. There have been moments when I have had to stop myself saying horrid things to him, it's not like me at all. I have ME so my moods can be all over the place.

Would someone take them out for a few hours so you can have some time to yourself just to relax?

[bluebelldancer]

I was going to say it sounds fairly hormonal. If you've been a SAHM for 11 years and coped fine then something must have changed recently. Only you can really say for sure what that might have been but hormones is a very likely one, or think whether there have been other changes which might have made you a little less understanding and able to cope with the challenges of three children.

You've clearly been a great mum for years. Don't beat yourself up over a couple of outbursts, but try to find the cause.

[Mamamoos]

Thank you both for your helpful thoughts and suggestions. Have had ups and downs over the years with coping but on the whole, always come up trumps with the kids being unaffected. Will seriously think about trip to the WW doc. Sorry to hear you have ME Avenalfe, a good friend of mine suffers with that so have seen how that can be a real trial to live with. My husband has MS and gets very tired these days easily and there's been a few changes, despite having lived with the condition for 20 years, I am wondering if I am worrying about that sub conciously

[AvenaLife]

see what the bloods show up. You could probably do with seeing a counsellor if nothing shows up. You have such alot on your plate, maybe this is how the stress is showing. Counselling can help. It can't do any harm. It can be really theraputic to just sit and talk things over.

[Mamamoos]

Thank you x

[AvenaLife]