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More help with difficult present please

(6 Posts)
JuneBugJen Wed 13-Aug-08 19:20:57

You helped me the other day with one present, please help with this one.

DH spoke to his best friend last night. He and his wife (who I know quite well but probably not well enough to call her up directly if that makes sence) have had terrible times with IVF and fertility. They have just had 3rd cycle and it looks like she is going through early menopause.

Apparently both are very low at moment.

Would like to send a small pressie to her just to say 'thinking of you' but can't think what might convey that. books are a minefield, scared of sending smellies as don't want to imply that her problems can be healed with bubble bath (or am I analysing too much?)

Please, lots of suggestions.

LoveMyGirls Wed 13-Aug-08 19:22:44

What about cinema tickets or vouchers for a meal so they can have a night out together?

Niecie Wed 13-Aug-08 19:25:05

Flowers? With a vase for lasting appeal.

Maybe a book token - that would cheer me up no end as I enjoy the chosing as well as the reading.

Not a great fan of smellies myself as I don't really like a lot of the fragrances.

Niecie Wed 13-Aug-08 19:25:56

Some sort of spa day or beauty treatment voucher?

JuneBugJen Wed 13-Aug-08 19:29:12

Good ideas so far, good idea LMG - could get dh to take her dh out to cimema and get a babysitter so I can take her out to a local spa here.
Good combo girls

RealityGap Wed 13-Aug-08 20:26:18

just to throw a complete spanner in the works, if it were me (having been through many cycles of IF treatment and unsucessful IVF'S) I really would not have appreciated anything. A card or email saying "I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time" and an offer of an shoulder to cry on would have been better for me. It would be different if you were really close but you said yourself that you don't know her enough to call.

I'd leave DH to deal with his friend and I would leave his wifes friends to deal with her, but extend the friendship branch but in a way she can refuse if she wants.

Being Low is all part of infertility treamtents unfortunately and from my own perspective all I wanted was to be left alone and spending time with DH to regroup.

I think what you want to do is really lovely, but it might not be best for her just now - it might be worthwhile getting DH to speak to her DH before you do anything

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