Help with "best woman's speech"

[lilolilmanchester]

A colleague of mine is going to be best woman at a wedding next week. She's getting pretty stressed about the speech. Although she knows the guy fairly well (obviously) and can talk lots about what a great guy & good friend he is etc she doesn't have any funny stories about him. He just isn't that sort of guy, but does have a good sense of humour. She is looking for generic stories / jokes she could adapt to him but is too maxed out to start looking. I said I'd ask you lot for help (and just hope the bride-to-be isn't a MNetter!)
It is second marriage and children from both sides will be there so not too risque.
Anyone any ideas?

[edam]

I'm sure there are websites with ideas for best man speeches. Or does she know what his favourite funny story is? Maybe a starting point there?

[lilolilmanchester]

I'm sure there are websites, she's just too stressed with work and home stuff to start looking, hence trying to take the easy option (MN!) to help her. I'll have a search later if I get the chance. Just trying to help her chill about it all!

[saggyhairyarse]

Pam Ayres

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
And here's the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it's creepy and it's late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It's you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It's you that has to whack him.

Yes, I'll marry you,
You're virile and you're lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!

It's you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I've got PMT it's you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!

I know it is a reading but if she couldicorporate it into her speech and if the bride and groom have a sense of humour, then it is very funny! But it kind of has to fit the couple. This might help:

www.confetti.co.uk/article/view/7126-7875-0-Best_man_speeches__an_introduction.do

[lilolilmanchester]

fab, thanks for that. I'd forgotten about that Pam Ayres poem. I doubt they'll be having any more babies but I'm sure it could be altered to fit. Will send that and the link on.