Really strange neighbours. What do you think?(11 Posts)
There is a family on the top floor of our house, it's in flats so the only contact we have is when he asks me to move the car or something.
They are Indian, the wife is very quiet, apparently she works at the hospital but I don't see her leave the house at all. Man works in Wales he says, comes back every week or two for a few days.
Anyway today we were dealing with the landlord and he came along to collar L.L. about something, being pretty unreasonable - we like the landlord as he's been great to us.
The landlord got me to move my car and then man from upstairs came and wanted it moved back, so I had to do this - but then he started chatting to me about was I married, do I live alone, to which I said yes I live alone, and he said wasn't I afraid? so I said I was used to it. Then he said (his English isn't great) excuse him for asking, but if I didn't have a boyfriend, how did I have children? and I said, well, I used to have a boyfriend...he said, 'now separated' and I said, well yes.
Then he apologised again for asking, I said I didn't mind (well, actually I did a bit) and a few minutes later he came back again, and asked if I wanted to see his flat.
I said no as I really had to sort out the children (he had interrupted me feeding ds2 to sleep, ds2 was crying) so we said goodbye.
It might be just me but I felt very strange about this conversation. I mean, why would he want to know all that stuff about me? And why ask me into his flat fgs?
I don't know if the wife was there or not.
Sorry if that sounded really trivial, but I have paraphrased - there were a lot more questions than that, very personal really. I just don't know what his interest is in my private life and feel cross with myself for divulging anything at all
He would have freaked me out a bit too. Perhaps he was only trying to make small chat.
Just nod to him in future and try not to get into conversation with him.
Thanks Fim, I might do that. They have a three year old who is currently in India, they are bringing him back in November I think. He told me about that, a while ago. He said he lost his license and job, something to do with the baby and the car and being drunk so they sent baby back to India.
I might sound really off but I dread getting too friendly as I don't want them to ask to use our garden. I don't think they have access to it officially but it would feel quite intrusive if they used it too, as it is basically outside our back door and they could see right in. I'll have to ask letting agents about whose it is I think. I am such an antisocial person really
is he british indian or did he move to the uk as an adult?
I ask because some of those questions may be perfectly normal in another country and he may not have worked out what is ok or not in the UK yet.
I live abroad and I get asked by everyone whether I am scared to be alone when my husband goes out (to work!). And we've given up trying to explain why DS was born before we were married. In some places it's ok to ask very personal questions about you and your family - stuff we wouldn't dream of asking a stranger in the UK.
Chances are this guy was making small talk, like fimbo said.
I think you have every right to feel the way you do, given the conversation.
Can you put a lock or chain or something on the garden to prevent them from using the garden (just in case).
My dh has a high powered job and gives million pound presentations etc but when it comes to small talk he is useless. Perhaps the Indian bloke is like this, but I would not go out of my way to get into conversation.
Yes he is Indian, he has probably been here about 5 years maybe. I just spoke to the agents and they said the garden is definitely only mentioned on our agreement, not the upstairs flats. So that's a relief!
He probably was just being a bit over friendly. I'll chill out now
Thanks for the answers.
glad you feel better about the garden
based only on what you've mentioned, I honestly believe he was trying to be friendly, even if it did come out wrong
Thanks - Ok this gets weirder. Two men and a van just arrived to deliver the ex-display table I got yesterday. (really cheap)
Man comes downstairs, and loiters on the drive, so they politely ask him if he is worried about their van and needs to get his car out. He says no, it's fine.
He approaches me then, asking if it is a sofa. I should mention at this juncture that all the kerfuffle with the landlord earlier was to do with a sofa - man wanted a new one, as the one upstairs was pretty knackered, so told LL he had seen one for £30, LL helped him oik old one out and took it to tip. Man returns some time later without sofa, saying it had gone, and implying with very cross body language that landlord ought to go and buy him a new one. Now. Which landlord had not planned on so couldn't.
Anyway the man now approaches me and asks me if it is a sofa, I say no, a table. He says 'How much did it cost?'
So I carelessly say, 'Oh I can't remember now, it was from a shop...' and look back to the delivery men, thus avoiding further cross examination.
He had earlier asked me if the landlord had bought me a new sofa, to which I replied that no, I had bought all my own furniture second hand. (I have) But that the landlord had been very kind organising building work for me, so I didn't mind.
I may be wrong here but he seems to think that something funny is going on, because apparently he has been here 2 1/2 years and no improvements have been made to his flat. But when I got here I only asked for the unsafe stuff to be repaired, as it was pretty unsafe. I have paid for carpets, flooring, all the furniture (I already had a lot) including cooker etc.
It's starting to get on my nerves, he has previously asked what my rent is, his is much less, so I am not talking to him any more. Perhaps he thinks the landlord is my children's father or something!?! (If only, but that is another story )
It does sound a bit iffy.
Wants to know if you are single.
Comes back later and says do you want to come upstairs?
Yes I am keeping a distance now I think
He can go ask someone else about their finances, personal life etc. Nosy git!
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