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2020 change my life list

4 replies

OhMyDarling · 24/12/2019 13:17

Ok so.... 2020.
Want to do more stuff for me. Remember who I am. Like a bucket list but not a bucket list.
But I’m stuck for ideas.

I live in a state of perpetual skintness. Have little time for myself.

But I want to learn new stuff or try new stuff or something.
But I don’t know what.

I can’t remember who I am.
In 4 years (ish) time I will have no dependants under 18, but nothing else to fill my life- bar my pets and work.

Even my friends have all dumped me, outgrown me really. They’re all married and planning kids or have babies. I love being around them but I don’t fit into their new lives- no baby to go to baby group with/parties/don’t think to invite me to feed the ducks etc when I would love to (I do ask them but it never seems to be at convenient times). So I’m pretty lonely (no partner) and it’s only going to get worse. So I need to change the situation.

The loneliness scares the bejesus out of me!!!!!

So I need to establish some kind of life.
Starting now.

Please post your ideas so I can unashamedly steal them.

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MrsBFlowers · 24/12/2019 17:04

If you can - go running! I have never been someone who chose to exercise and honestly couldn't understand why people would want to do it. Especially in the rain/on Christmas Day etc!
In August this year I just had this strong pull to attempt the Couch to 5k programme. Completed it in December. Honestly, it's changed my life! I'm much stronger, more confident and generally happier. Couldn't get out for a run for the past few weeks and missed it so much. The running community is so friendly and I'm looking forward to doing Parkruns next year - which seem to have a lovely social feel to them, opportunity to volunteer etc.
This time last year I'd NEVER thought I'd be where I am now.
Also, it's free! I've bought zero gear. Run in an old hoodie and trainers. Something really freeing about that.
All the best for 2020 - I hope you find your 'thing' and make lovely friends along the way ✨

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OhMyDarling · 24/12/2019 18:01

Thank you!! I have massive boobs, sports bras never seem to fit right and anything with rigorous ‘bounce’ kills my back... I like the sound of running though, and the cheapy cheap cheap upfront costs!
I might try it.
Somewhere quiet. And flat!

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Perid0t · 26/12/2019 10:40

Join a netball group (search back to netball for local areas) - been to a few now and they’re all fun, lovely and loads of different ages and background. Make genuine friendships.

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BuddhaAtSea · 26/12/2019 11:07

Once a month I go to a book club I found on meet up. I get the books from the library these days, I’ll only buy them if they were amazing.

I’m afraid I’m another runner. I joined a running club, sounds elitist, it’s actually £20 a year and we train twice a week. I’m also slow and like to chat, there’s plenty like me in the club 😉, thank god. Doesn’t matter how you do, it’s going out in fresh air, chatting to people.
I also love park run. Did you know you can walk it? And take your dog with you? And we stop for coffee afterwards.
I joined a gym, because I do a very physical job and I need Pilates and swimming, by back is shot. It’s cheaper to pay for membership than for individual classes/swim sessions.
I have a dog, we walk for miles together. I meet people from all walks of life, dog owners or not. I love kids, toddlers especially, I find them fascinating, they always want to pat the doggy and we have chats.
I practice mindfulness, I meditate twice a day.
For creativity, I take photos. I am saving for a camera for next Christmas, I use my phone for now.
I love my home, I actually pay a lot of attention to my living environment. I tend to and kill my houseplants on a regular basis 😂. But I also like to make a big deal of yearly events. Like: Chinese New Year, I invite friends round for a Chinese, just because it’s Chinese New Year. Or shrove Tuesday, half the teenagers in my neighbourhood know about it and it’s been busy in my house. Apparently I’m really cool for letting them have them as I make them, they don’t have to wait ( I have a teenager of my own, btw, I’m not just picking them up at random)

My household knows not to speak, look at or attempt to interact with me before I had my coffee in the morning. I am absolutely awful if they do. I get up, make a coffee, close my bedroom door and enjoy the peace and quiet, they open the door at their own peril. 15-20 min is all I need. Then I turn human/mum again. I think it’s important to have some time for myself.
HTH

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