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Why have people got to so drugs,sad,fuming,naive,confused

(7 Posts)
user1478639495 Mon 08-Jul-19 14:51:32

In regards to the friends, nothing, it's their choice, in regards to my husband, it makes a lot of difference because he has lied to me basically from the get go. I told him if he wishes to do it (which he will it's his body his choice) I just want the respect to know when he will or has and that I don't want him any near me or our child when he's still got it in his system.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Am I being completely over the top here? This is why I'm asking what the big deal is it seems to be the new alcohol no ones bothered, it's not a drug it's the same as having a drink and I'm totally over reacting, is this the case? Is it me???

Unshriven Mon 08-Jul-19 10:42:11

If you were completely unaware that your partner and 90% of your friends are doing coke, they must be dealing with it just fine.

How does knowing make any difference in that case?

user1478639495 Mon 08-Jul-19 10:41:09

I know I think this is what's getting me, his lack of any respect for what I've asked him to do and not do. It's not like I said you can never take it again cuz of course he will, I went down the respectful route of if your going to do it you will regardless but be honest with me and then listed my boundaries/rules and he's just shoved his finger up at me.

He doesn't do it all the time because he never goes out he works like a dog and this probably happens once every few months if that. But the point is he lied to me time and time again and now the trust is gone, I will assume every time he goes out now he'll be doing that, that's what he's done. I don't see many ppl who hate something with such a passion standing back and saying look you do what you got to do but on these terms most ppl would go crazy and do what you said divorce or coke which one? I have been so open minded as much as I can but he's still lied, I am so angry. And with the baby due any day now I just feel so much more angry towards him it's not exactly what I wanted to bring our baby into. Selfish ass hole. One of the many reason I hate drugs it brings trouble.

user1478639495 Mon 08-Jul-19 10:37:17

No I don't judge, I don't agree with it but like you say if that's what people want to do then carry on, but I'm asking am I missing something because so many people actually do it? I was so naive to see that 99% of my circle of friends do and done it around me and stupid old me had no clue what so would I not know? Stupid or naive, and the reason I'm so angry now is that this person is my husband and he's openly lied to me time and time again even after I've said look you carry on shoveling that crap into your body if you want but never come home and be anywhere near me and our child end of, he promised and look now, lies unraveling. Fuming.

Babdoc Mon 08-Jul-19 09:16:31

So your DH is a serial liar and class A drug abuser. I can totally understand why you are upset, and feel this man is a terrible role model as a father, and a selfish,
inconsiderate husband.
He apparently has no regard for your feelings if he is happy to continue breaking the law, risking his own health, and supporting a vile criminal chain of traffickers, smugglers and murderous drug barons right across the world to South America.
For me, this would be a deal breaker. He gets help for his addiction and stops all cocaine use, or he gets divorced.

Pootles34 Mon 08-Jul-19 09:09:02

You don't judge though right? If people want to do it that's on them?

user1478639495 Mon 08-Jul-19 08:55:48

Don't know if I've even put this in the correct place
probably not but need to get this out I'm so angry and sad.

Why is it that every other person seems to be doing cocaine??? Literally what is the fuss all about?! Someone please enlighten me.

I am obviously extremely naive, I have a massive problem with drugs, I hate them with a passion, if peowant to do then that's on them, I personally think what a waste and I disagree with it due to many factors, the crime it supports, the type of people who make a lot of money out of someone's weakness, the fact that it is disgusting in my eyes snorting s* up your nose, just gross, I could go in, that's just my personal opinion, but I never judge, I think well it's your body, your choice, crack on if that's what makes you 'happy'

But the thing that has massively got me today, is the fact that I've just found out that my husband seems to be taking it when ever he is on a night out and I am floored. Some background here, got with him I always made it clear my hate for drugs, he agreed, fast forward a few years, I find out that a lot of his friends do it, then I find out that yes In fact he used to do drugs too but he hasn't for years and doesn't touch it anymore. Then you probably can guess, a night out comes up it's clear I'm not really invited or wanted there, comes to light because they are doing drugs. Massive argument, air cleared move on. Then I find out again that he 'may' have had some coke once more, then just the other evening, we were talking about a friend who has come out and said they've got a cocaine problem, this friend is very close to us we are doing everything to support them, again no judgement I feel ppl get into these situations because there is a problem somethwere so I think find out what the problem got them there in the first place tackle that head on and slowly we'll get there, I'd never leave a friend in need because of my absolute disgust for drugs. Anyway over the weeks the drug talk has become quite frequent and accidentally my husband has let on that he has a very small amount on his stag do last year, god I felt so disappointed in him, I asked him before he went to ole not take that rubbish, we have a young son, I said to him on other nights out, look if your going to do it you will but please if you do, I don't want to stay in our room or anywhere near our son stay downstairs until your clear of that toxic stuff. So bear in mind I'm being extremely unselfish here if he's toning to do it he will regardless but as long as he's honest with me and doesn't come anywhere near me or my son after he's done it then fine I can live with that I suppose. The losing ass hole tripped himself up again last night, I found (by accident! I dread to think what I'd find if I go looking for shit) a screen shot from early last year about 'so you want some? I've got 5 grams, you will want it' it was clear exactly what it was about, I just sank, I felt angry, upset, betrayed, that lying scum bag has been constantly lying to me, making out he's some god cuz he didn't do it anymore when clearly he must do. He's lied to me too many times trying to cover it up, he's done the worst thing ever by not being honest with me and the one thing I asked to not be around me or our son after he's done it, he still did, knowing full well how much that would hurt me. Bastard. I have been so naive. It's clear to me now that when ever he goes out he must be having it, I can't trust him now, I put my trust in him and look what's happens he's totally abused it. So now even if he goes down the pub on a Friday I will assume he'll have a sneaky line because funnily enough when he's seen his friends on a Friday for a quick pint he's always very very chatty when he comes home and I've stupidly thought aw it's so nice when he sees his mates it really brings him up, what an idiot I am he's obviously chatty cuz he's high from a line. God I am so so stupid, naive, I am so angry, I am also about to pop with our second child any day now so now I'm like great timing. I am so hurt. Can someone please be honest with me and tell me am I over the top with the hate for drugs? Seems sooooo many ppl to do I seem to be one of the few who doesn't, is it the new alcohol is it acceptable now? Someone tell me straight.

Sorry for the epic rant and moan but as you can see I have a lot to get out my system, I haven't slept a wink all night so I'm tired and hormonal today because of that selfish t.*...

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