Level-headed advice needed please.

[angelcake03]

Hi, bear with me if this is a little long-winded. My son is 11 and has just started secondary school. He was at a mixed primary, but a single sex secondary. The first week he was fine, but has become quieter and not like himself. He's mentioned that he wants to change himself, that he doesn't have friends, and that he eats his lunch alone, and is feeling a bit lonely. My eldest son is in his last year at the same school, and has seen my youngest now and again, mainly on his own, but being in the upper year, they aren't able to mix, different breaks and lunches etc. He got upset tonight, and now says he must be gay because he thinks some boys are good looking, but he also thinks girls are good looking. I don't care whether he is gay/straight, whatever, but I do care about his happiness. I am really unsure how best to help him. He knows we love him unconditionally. The feedback we get from teacher's is that he's doing really well in his lessons, and all comment on how polite and well-behaved he is. At primary he was teased about being a goody goody, and was told he'd never make friends at secondary unless he was less good! I'm not sure if thinking he is gay is just because he's desperate for friends, but am so conscious of getting it wrong now. If anyone has any practical suggestions or help they can offer, I would be grateful. I just can't bear him being lonely and desperate for friends.

[Jaimx86]

Can you ask school about lunch time clubs that are on offer? I run a lunch club that a lot of 'friendless' Year 7s come to and they're starting to form friendships through their common interest. Perhaps there is a board game or film club?

[angelcake03]

Thanks, that's a good idea. I know they run clubs after school, will phone tomorrow and ask. Wish I'd thought of that!

[JoJoSM2]

After school clubs are good too ;)