She's pooing in her pants aged 3.5+

[TW]

My dd will be 4 in July. She had a sore bottom about 10 days ago, and I took her to the doc who suspected worms and gave us all a pill to take. The problem has ceased - the swab proved normal but that could just be due to insufficient sample taken - but caused retention which led to constipation, which in turn led to an anal fissure and therefore pain on pooing. We are now over that, lovely soft poo, but she won't go when she needs it. We spend the majority of every afternoon with her squeaking "Mummy I need a poo!" but the urge having gone by the time we reach the loo. Then the cycle starts again 10 mins later. Eventually she just poos in her pants. Yesterday I had to stay at a 2.5 hr birthday party with her because I obviously couldn't leave her to someone else to deal with. Tomorrow she has dancing. She is like a potty training toddler. There is no longer pain, and she knows and admits that. But there is a real problem. Anyone else been through this, and how the hell do I deal wtih it? I have ds1 and 2 on either side of her and a fairly hectic life and this is a NIGHTMARE.

[thirtysomething]

My dd is slightly younger but we have had this on and off too - the only way we solved it was resorting to bribery (again!) i.e. "I know you need to do a poo so why don't you do it in the toilet and then you'll get 2 sweets and Mummy will be very pleased with you, rather than being a baby and doing it in your pants and not having any sweets!" Eventually, this did actually work, she finally realised that she feels better doing it in the right place anyway, but we still have the odd mis-hap. It's also worth making her sit on the loo and count to ten after every meal as that tends to be when it comes.
Also, my dd worked out that I usually ended up throwing the pants away when she pooed and if it was a favourite pair she got really upset so now every time we put pants on that she likes I say we don't want to have to throw them away do we and she agrees, and then reminds me she doesn't want to throw them away every time she sits on the loo. Good luck - it may be worth seeing the doctor for a mild laxative like lactulose just to make her go more predictably and retrain the bowel for a while.

[PipBeckett]

My ds1, five tomorrow, still quite regluarly poos in his pants. It's a weekly thing to get a phone call from school asking me to come and clean him up. He to had an anal fissure and found it very difficult to go. No amount of coaxing will get him to part with it before he's ready and it makes my eyes water. So now we just get on with it and ignore the accidents. If I'm called into school to clean him up, I go and sort him out and then leave again. Even it's only ten minutes until home time. Not discussing it with him has made it happen less. Does she manage to wipe her own bottom? My ds1 still won't wipe his which is another reason for him not wanting to go to the toilet. He'll run around the house screaming he wants a poo but won't go unless one of us goes with him. We're doing the cold turkey thing at the moment and making him clean himself up after accidents at home.

[jampot]

I hate to say this but this happened to my son (he's now 7 but still has accidents sometimes). He used to retain when he was little and that led to constipation and the whole "pooing in pants" cycle. I've taken him to the doctor/health visitor etc who referred him to a child psychologist. She basically said he has a perverse personality and that I mother him too much!!! I then took him back to the doctor who referred him to a paediatric consultant at the local hospital. He said he was so constipated that he would never be able to shift it on his own and that the pooing in the pants was simply overflow which he had no control over. He's had lactulose, senna and on a few occasions sodium picosulphate (and boy did that work). The GP now thinks that he has managed to "block" out the need for a poo message from his brain and needs to relearn how to recognise needing a poo again. Strangely, my ds also had some worm medicine when he was about 2. Wonder if it's connected....

[tillymint]

Jampot
I went through same thing with dd1 when she was 4. It really wears you down. She still has accidents (5.5yrs noiw).
If ever a problem begins to rised, I give her extra lge portions of raspberries, and dried apricots. Also have fun making and eating flapjacks.
The peadiatric nurse told me that 90% OF THEIR CASES were botty problems !!

[jampot]

Urggghhhh - who'd be a paediatric doc?

DS eats plenty of fruit and veg, 2 weetabix for brekkie with oj (separate, milk on the weetabix)! He had an episode a couple of months ago where he wanted the loo but couldn't go - we had tears and vomiting etc. In the end he fell asleep and during the night I woke and went to check on him. He had passed a poo bigger than a cricket ball involuntarily in his sleep. Next couple of days were full of diarrhoea (sp?) and leaking and another ENORMOUS poo.

[TW]

Lordy! I expected a simple solution - now I feel REALLY daunted!!!
Constipation is no longer a problem because of all the OJ, fruit, etc etc, and it is a "perfect" consistency. But when it is so, you can only hold it in for so long. The little blighter jumps around the house, pullling at the seat of her clothes (to try to keep them away from the poo), refuses to go (if I take her she'll sit for half and hour and do nothing) then 10 mins later.... there it is. For some extraordinary reason, she was wearing a (clean) pair of pants on her head when the urge overwhelmed her today, and THEY managed to be covered as well. So two pairs of pants and a pair of shorts later...
I think you're right about the bribery. As soon as I see the little dance start I should bribe. Thing is I think she convinces herSELF that she doesn't actually HAVE to go. I just wish I understood WHY this is suddenly happening.