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Anyone else feel like they're reliving their childhood through their children?

(5 Posts)
bourneville Sun 28-May-06 10:27:56

Repressed memories, how do they work? I'm talking about age 3 and under. I've heard about people uncovering memories that their brain has buried for years & years, i can't imagine how that works! And is aged 3 and under too young to remember stuff long term anyway? Was wondering because I know traumatic things happened when i was little but i don't remember and though i know in theory how it has affected me it is weird not having those memories.

Also, I feel as though I am reliving my childhood, on an emotional level only, through dd who is now 2.9, that she is a 2nd 'me' or something and i have a chance to cancel out the way my life went, which i know is a really bad thing. I feel as if i'm not going to be able to relax until she is 5, settled at school, and her life is different to how mine was, if that makes sense. After she turned 18 months i felt like i could breathe again because i had a sister born at that age and dd didn't, so it was like, phew, things are different for dd already! weird huh! I think at each age dd goes through, i think a lot about what was going on for me when i was that age.

raggedyanna Sun 28-May-06 10:33:23

I think I kind of know what you mean, my dad suicided when I was 3 mths old and my brother was 16mths, I found I was very emotional when ds was approaching these ages even though I never knew my father and had long since dealt with feelings related to his death so I thought. I think it is not so much living out your life again just taht things resurface because your child's age triggers the memory in some deep level way just as some smells etc can stir up old feelings etc. Anyway not sure if this helps but I think I can identify with what you are saying.

bourneville Sun 28-May-06 10:44:49

Yeah that's exactly what i mean i think. it was a v weird feeling when dd was 18 months & no sibling arrived. I think that would have been the first time i had to be separated from my mum, for example. (She was in hospital for a couple of weeks before my dsis was born, with high BP.) It's like, maybe, i am able to access how i might have felt back then or something, whereas before it was all theoretical.

raggedyanna Sun 28-May-06 11:07:50

Think it gives you another chance to work through any issues with events iykwim, though can be tough going.

bourneville Sun 28-May-06 18:42:42

yeah. i'm really close to my dsis and have talked to her about some of the stuff but she can't see what i see so much, it will be interesting to see what would happen if she had a child.

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