If your child has godparents, how many do they have?

[Bellabelloo]

Just that, really! We have had a baby against all odds and he will be an only child (But with lots of similar aged cousins). We are struggling to narrow down godparents. I will ask my 3 best friends as I am godmother to their children. Plus I know they will be great godparents and very present in my baby’s life. So I told my husband he could only appoint 1 godparent as 4 seems like loads! However, he is struggling to choose between his 2 best mates. Would 5 be too many?

[elQuintoConyo]

Why would they have more than one of each gender? Am i being thick?

[Bellabelloo]

Traditionally it’s 3 godparents.

[shakemysilliesout]

I thought it was 1 of each gender? I'm sad to say when I have been one of many godparents it felt less special to me, I don't mean to sound mean but that's how it felt to me.

[wobblywonderwoman]

I thought two was traditional

[Pixilicious]

We have a DD, she has 2 women and one man.

[pilates]

For a boy 2 men and 1 woman
A girl 2 women and 1 man

[AnotherWorry]

I don't know about any tradition, but I'm fairly sure the Cambridge children have at least half a dozen each. So if it's good enough for royalty....

Ours have 3 each. But 2 are useless.

[Waddlingwanda]

Choose those that value it the most and it will mean the most to.
I’m a godparent but it means nothing to me, i believe relationships with friends are fairly fluid and therefore the people close to you are not always the same ones over time.
I brought this up when they asked But they were fairly insistent. If ever asked again I would turn it down.

[cheeriosatdawn]

Godparents are meant to help and guide our children throughout their lives.

Life has many chapters, and, as we grow, we have many - often changing - needs. We chose a set of godparents that reflects that.

Ultimately, choosing godparents is not about following rules, or, really, anything other than what structures we might be able to create for our DC that would give him the support, throughout life, that we’d want him to have.

My DC has seven godparents. Did we get a bit of flak for that? Absolutely. And, if I’m honest, that caused me a fair bit of stress.

Until I spoke with our priest and told her of our intentions.

She said, simply, that we should pick precisely the people we’d want to have a permanent and unbreakable commitment to our child both in her life now, and, God forbid, in the event that we were no longer there to transmit our values.

And when I saw them all assembled in the church, all there to profess their commitment to our child, I knew that the commentary by others was totally irrelevant.

For the record, in our close circle of friends, most people have at least four. Granted, we’re a very old school bunch of people, but what works for us can work for anyone.

[Bellabelloo]

Cheerio. Beautifully put.

My dad left and my mum died when I was young. I was brought up by my aunt but my godparents played a really important role and, as my mum’s best friends, also kept the memory of my mum alive and shared stories of her growing up.

I had cancer 5 years ago and was told I’d never be able to have children after all of my treatment, so my baby is such a blessing. I am really scared of the cancer returning and while my husband is a great dad, I want my best friends, who I have known since I was about 5 years old, so be an important part of his life. This is SO important to me. But I am aware that it then means that my husband can’t choose as many godparents.

Shake - I agree - being one godparent of many does make the commitment feel less special...

[Opheliasgoldenwine]

I have three!

[Hulababy]

Dd has 4, originally two couple. One couple have since split up but we are in contact with all still. Not religious at all now, nor are any of them either.

[PrimusInterPares]

Traditionally it's 3.

For a boy it's 2 men and 1 woman.

For a girl it's 2 women and 1 man.

[Opheliasgoldenwine]

I had two men and a woman but I’m female

[PrimusInterPares]

I have to say - I do think that if you're one of a host of godparents for one child, then I think there's a risk each godparent feels a bit more redundant and so might not step up to the role as diligently as they might if they were one of a more select group.

[LoniceraJaponica]

Cheerio puts it beautifully. Traditionally it is 3, but there are no laws or regulations.

Please don't ask people to be Godparents just to please them or cement a friendship, or ask someone who doesn't believe in God. Being a godparent is about making promises to God and offering spiritual guidance to your child. Details here.

[OhWhatToChoose]

My godson has four, two couples.

[inappropriateraspberry]

Traditionally it’s 2 the same sex of child and 1 of other sex. Your son would have 2 godfathers and 1 godmother.

[Terri26]

In Ireland it is Catholic Tradition to have 2, one man one woman but sometimes people choose to have 2 women and no man. Some people say they have have asked more than 2 people to be godparents but only 2 names get written into the book!