My DS cried last night and said he is lonely(13 Posts)
Which broke my heart, of course. He is an only age 6, is back to school now so at least he has the compaany for half teh day. i JUST cant play with him all day, neither can DH. We do our best, but honestly, it probably isnt good enough. We organise play dates, which are rarely reciprocated, I suppose because the other kids have brothers and sisters so their parents dont have the need as such. He goes training on a Sat, Scouts on a Wed.
What do you all do with your kids? What would be a typical day with your only? How much do you expect them to play by themselves? Its getting more complicated the older he gets!
Aww your poor ds...
I had an only for 10 yrs, it helped living in an area where there are plenty of kids . She used to play with the neighbourhood children a lot as well as lots of clubs etc but she did enjoy being an only child. We had surprise sibling when she was nearly 11 btw.
Could you organise more after school activities if there are no neighbourhood kids . I agree playing with them is knackering and they are better off playing ith other children.
We specifically chose to live on a modern estate that had masses of kids because we had an only child......we certainly wouldn't have chosen to live here. My second child is essentially like an onlie because his sister is away at uni now...he loves where we live cos of all the friends at his disposal.
So sorry a bit drastic to move but may be worth thinking about.
My 5yo has recently said the same thing..im hoping its just because its the end of the holidays and he'll feel better once he's at school and had more friends locally.
Very sad though
Having a baby now won't help much either, my ds (6) is very needy when it comes to playing, can't/won't play on his own. Now has a db (7months) and It's still going to be quite a long time before they'll be able to play together, or get to a point where ds1 will feel to old, incompatible, to play with his kid brother.
I really feel for him it breaks my heart, he plays with neighbours, and goes to swimming lessons, football training, but most of the time other kids are too busy in their own lives to play with him.
Sorry, no advice op, but masses of sympathy
Mine has done that and it is heartbreaking . He doesn't do it so much now, but we are definitely considering a move within our area to be around other children.
Does he have cousins? DS has said this less since the arrival of cousins.
DS did this over the holidays, now he's at school he seems a lot happier..
I'm considering bunkbeds so he can have friends over a lot
I was th youngest of three by a 10 and 12 year gap so was effectively like an only child. I never felt lonely, I enjoyed the attention from everyone at that age and had great friends at school. Your ds will grow out of this feeling.
I remember feeling lonely like your ds when I was a child too. And I had 2 brothers, just that they didn't really play with me. I think all children can feel lonely, not just onlies.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things in terms of playdates. We have an only DS who doesn't like playing on his own either, and I feel like braining myself if I have to play 5 year old boy games for long! Things have got much easier since, like ggirl, we've moved to an area where the kids play out. DS usually goes out to play on his own for an hour or so after school now, which really takes the pressure off.
The other option is for you to develop your adult friendships with other families. At the weekend we usually meet up with friends with children of a similar age and all go swimming, to the park, to kiddie theatre etc so DS has a built in social life.
Just wanted to add that I had a brother growing up and still felt lonely. We didn't get in at all! There is no guarantee that having another dc will stop your ds being lonely.
I remember feeling at my loneliest as a child when my sister bullied me, and crying on my bed and swearing I'd never talk to her again. I also remember her abandoning games that I was enjoying and me being really disappointed. also she 'stole' my friends who came to play with me. Just to remember that children get upset with or without siblings, it's part of growing up. I love my sister now but she feels really guilty for how she treated me, also we are really different in lots of ways so really I'm closer to some of my friends.
My two were only 14 months apart (thanks morning after pill failure) They hated each other as children and now as adults basically have nothing to do with each other, don't talk, don't even have each others mobile numbers. So having a second is no guarantee of a playmate at all.
Have a look at more sporting activities perhaps? Swimming, judo or team games? Honestly not all siblings get on and play sweetly, and it's not practical to spend every minute entertaining them when they're not at school. Lots of children with pesky younger siblings or bossy older sibs will be glad of sleepovers in a couple of years' time. Also as he gets older, when the spring returns and days get longer, give him a bit more freedom to run around with the neighbourhood kids in your vicinity.
I was 6 when my sister was born and as pointed out above, rather a long time before she was a playmate!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now »
Already registered? Log in with:
Please login first.