No knickers at nursery - can this be right?

[mrsh77]

Sorry for such a question, but I went to visit a nursery and the little girl talking to my dd wasn't wearing any underwear. Staff didn't seem to notice. Later, she lifted her dress above her head, exposing everything. At this point I made a comment and the manager asked her where they were but didn't ask anyone to sort her out. Her explanation was that the girl was having toilet training.

I'm new to all of this but this doesn't seem right to me??!

[preggersplayspop]

I'm thinking of embarking on toilet training with DS soon, and I think its quite good for them to have a bit of bare bum time.

Nurseries are good at supporting you through toilet training (or mine says they will anyway) so sounds pretty reasonable to me.

[mrsh77]

Oh okay, even at nursery? My baby is only 10 months old so not at all familiar with potty, let alone toilet training!

[ilovetochat]

my dd was bare at first during potty training, totally bare, so i think i dress at nursery would be ideal.
another thought my dd will take off her pants to use the toilet and then wont put them back on sometimes till i tell ehr to.

[HuffySpice]

Would have been more odd if the reaction had been horror, shock or embarrasment.

2 yr olds take off their pants. A lot. Very sensible too if they're toilet training, otherwise it's just another layer to get off in time, and a bit of extra washing every day .

[PortAndLemon]

Just doing without pants entirely for a week or two is one recognised approach to potty/toilet training -- not what we did, but it's not a particularly weird approach. You might want to ask the nursery about whether they have a standard approach to potty training (timing and/or method) or whether they follow your lead on either or both.

[mrsh77]

Thanks for the reassurances! Toddler stage is going to be a whole new world to me! I was considering asking for my deposit back and going to a different nursery! Though not just for that reason. Am also concerned about the sleeping area being small, light and in the same room as the play area. Plus it's all a bit grubby and the baby area is so small it only contains a bouncy chair (which my 10 month dd doesn't use anymore) and an activity centre. The babies do mix with the older kids in the entire room though. That said, my dd will be the youngest at just under 1 year. And then there is only one more 1 year old. Next oldest will be 18 months + Should I be worried?

I got a good feeling about the place at visit no. 1 but now I'm having doubts ...

Sorry, have asked a million other questions here, and not linked to OP! But any advice from more experienced moms much appreciated!

[Spidermama]

I remember helping out once when my dd was in reception and we were playing a board game. One of the girls sat cross legged on the floor with no knickers on.

My reaction was how cute that they're all still young enough not to notice or care.

I think at nursery it's fine.

My ds dresses himself (he insists on it) and often doesn't bother with pants.

[SoupDragon]

[shrug] DD went to nursery with no knickers on the other week. That's what you get for letting your independent 3.5 year old dress herself. Nursery did spot it though and gave her the spare pair from her bag.

[UniS]

kids often go pant less while potty training, MUCH easier to get a pair of baggy shorts down or a skirt up in a hurry if you don't have to do pants as well.
If a child is at nursery during that phase, yes I'd expect them to be pantless at nursery.

and as others have said, starting the day with an item of clothing on is no guarantee they will end teh day with them on once they get to teh undressing the selves stage..

[mrsh77]

Also the nursery insists it's okay for my dd to start three weeks before her 1st birthday. Another nursery says that shouldn't happen because of insurance. Do you know where I can get guidance on this?

[theyoungvisiter]

mrsh77 - it will just depend on their ofsted ratios and how many children they are allowed in any particular age group.

if they are allowed to take under 1s, have enough staff and are not over numbers for under 1s then it doesn't matter when your daughter's bday is.

And no, I would not be particularly concerned about a child with no knickers. My Ds regularly strips off without telling me!

Sleeping area [shrug] - many nurseries don't have a dedicated sleeping area, most I have visited just use mats on the floor in a quiet corner of the main area and the children adapt fine. It's what both my DS's nurseries used.

[theyoungvisiter]

just to clarify my last post, the different response from the other nursery may have been because they have a different license if you see what I mean.

[preggersplayspop]

I went on gut feel for the nursery I chose. The sleeping area for us was mats in the main room, and when you take a close look at some things you do think...eewww some of it looks a bit grubby...but actually its just very worn from lots of little people playing (hard) with the toys and wearing things out. I'd be worried if everything was pristine! I love it when my DS comes home filthy as I know he's had a great time.

Most important factor for me was how loving and caring the staff were, and what sort of continuity they would get - is staff turnover high? how long have the people in the baby room worked there and what about the room leaders/manager etc?

It is quite nerve wracking because you are leaving your most precious thing with someone else to care for, so you need to be happy with the decision you are making. The nursery should be happy for you to have as many looks around as you need, and don't be afraid of doing this.

[mrsh77]

Thanks Preggers and everyone else for all your much needed guidance! I'm feeling a lot better about things but I've decided to visit again with my husband next week because I think I'm also nervous that I've made the decision on my own!

BTW I'm new to mumsnet and don't know all the abbrevs. What's husband??

[theyoungvisiter]

husband is DH (dear husband).

Agree 100% with Preggers post - your feeling abotu the staff and their interaction with the kids is the most important thing.

Good luck, it is scary and the first few weeks are usually hell no matter how wonderful the place is, but my DS1 loves his nursery now and asks to go in on his days off .

[FiveGoMadInDorset]

The nursery that I use is a bit like that, yes things look tired but she loves it, what did it for me is that all the staff have been there for years, and so DS key worker is the same that DD had when she started 2 .5 years ago.