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Thinking of not sending DS back to nursery for remainder of his notice period. Am I overreacting?

11 replies

2point4kids · 15/10/2008 18:16

DS goes to nursery 3 afternoons a week.
He's been at the same nursery for 18 months now and has always enjoyed it.
About 3 weeks ago he moved up to the next class (he has just turned 3) and hasnt been enjoying it as much since.
He is more clingy when I drop him off and is constantly telling me he doesnt like nursery.
Last week I handed in his notice as I have got him a place at a pre-school nearby which I think he will enjoy more.

Today when dropped him off he was sobbing when I left him.
When I collected him he was crying again. One of the members of staff told me he was crying becuase he'd been told off. Ds told me through his tears that he was crying because he'd fallen over and had hurt his foot.
His key worker told me he had been 'very naughty' today and that he had spat in somene's face
I really cant believe he did that (they didnt actually see him do it. the other boy said he did it and DS agreed and said sorry). Ds has never even seen anyone spit before let alone d it himself. I just cant believe he did it. I know that he got told off for it and had time out.

I've just lost total confidence in the place now. I dont want to send him back. He's not enjoying it and if he did spit, then he's picking up terrible habits!!

What do you think my chances are of them allowing him to leave earlier than his notice without me having to pay the full amount?
I'm thinking of calling them tmorrow morning and asking them to consider it and explaining why.
If they dont agree then I am going to ask to book the next 3 weeks as holiday and just pay half price for it as if it was a holiday.

Am I overreacting? What would you do?

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Orinoco · 15/10/2008 18:29

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Orinoco · 15/10/2008 18:30

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Sparkletastic · 15/10/2008 18:31

He's not too little BUT he does sound miserable. Your plan to try to negotiate then if no go book as holiday sounds very reasonable.

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Sparkletastic · 15/10/2008 18:32

x post Orinoco - sorry for snapping

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nkf · 15/10/2008 18:34

I'd say he's having a bit of trouble adjusting to the new class. You probably signed a contract stating how much you owe them if you pull a child out without notice.

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Orinoco · 15/10/2008 19:00

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PortAndDemon · 15/10/2008 19:03

If it's any consolation, DS and his friends refer to blowing raspberries as "spitting".

I he's not happy, and is leaving soon anyway, then I'd pull him out, but I wouldn't expect to get it any cheaper than the "holiday" rate.

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krib · 15/10/2008 19:08

Re: the spitting - my 2 yr old nephew just started playgroup 2 weeks ago and has already been told off for spitting. This is his first experience of socialising with other children, but he has been spitting at grown-ups way before then, believe it or not (I know, I'm shocked and he's my flippin' nephew ).

What I'm trying to say is that he's never seen anyone spit either. Spitting is not necessarily learned behaviour, it's just something kids do, like scratching and kicking.So it may be hard to believe he did it, but it is totally possible.

I think you'll have difficulty removing him without paying the notice first, but good luck!

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2point4kids · 15/10/2008 20:16

That has re-inforced what I am thinking. Thank you.
I am definitely not sending him tomorrow or at all going forward. If I have to pay still then so be it.

I really wasnt sure if you;d all tell me to chill out and stop being PFB about it. That DS did something and was punished, end of story.

But I am clear in my head now that he will be happier not going, so he wont go!

I feel bad that I havent taken him out sooner to be honest. I really thought that he would settle in to the new class after a week or two.
Poor DS

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Orinoco · 15/10/2008 20:27

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2point4kids · 16/10/2008 10:51

Oh Orinoco, that sounds heartbreaking, poor you.

I did it. I rang his nursery and told them I wasnt taking him in today and didnt want him to go back at all.
I told her that he wasnt settling in to the new class well and didnt seem to be getting much help to settle in. I've had no feedback from any of the staff about him at all (every day they just say 'he's been fine') when I used to get lots of helpful info in his old class. Even down to the fact that he never got given a new peg to hang his coat on when he moved with his picture on (the other kids who moved up did, but they are full time).
I said he had a very bad day yesterday, He cried when he went in and then had the spitting incident, which he is still upset about and he says he doesnt like nursery and doesnt want to go, so I'm not making him.

I have to pay the full amount though!!! They cant shorten his notice and I need to give a months notice for holidays, so cant do that either!

She agreed that it was a good idea not to bring him in today but said she thought we could work something out so he gets a few hours out of the time I have paid for over the next 3 weeks (I dont think so though). She thinks that he is bound to notice the change over moving classes as now there are 8 children per adult instead of 4 so they cant look after them as closely as he is used to.
She is getting his key worker to call me tomorrow to talk through everything and get more detailed feedback on what has gone wrong.

Thats all I can do I guess! Unless I write a letter too confirming all my reservations and why I've pulled him out. Perhaps I should do that?