Advice needed about what to ask when visiting nurseries for first time mum

[EllieG]

Right - my first LO is due tomorrow and am planning on going back to work April next year. Am going to visit a couple of nurseries this week, but I have no idea really what questions to ask/what to look out for as potentially good/bad signs etc. What sort of stuff should I be paying particular attention to? Advice please oh wise MNers.....

[kingfix]

instinct, gut feeling, first impressions... matter more than questions I reckon, which can be very rehearsed, like interview answers. Also reckon pay more attention to what the kids are doing how they look than what the staff say, are there kids looking forlorn, alone etc. Of course ask about stuff that's important to you... eg my kids were all fed on demand, slept when they were tired not on schedule etc etc and I wanted this to continue as far as poss at nursery. Some nurseries looked at me as if I was the nightmare mother others took it in their stride. Also found responses to 'what would you so in this situation' quite revealing. Hope you find somewhere you like

[scottishmummy]

look at ofsted enter your postcode and it will list local nurseries

Visit ask about staffing ratios

ask other mums for recommendations

some settling in sessions

look at the staff interacting with lo

are they well resourced, books, nice decor,a specific baby room

what planned activities do they offer

do they offer keyworker for baby

discuss your preferences eg sleep, feeding etc

stability of staffing- how long has mgr been in post, staff turnover

[EllieG]

Thanks - that's a good starting point. I don't really know how I'm going to raise this one yet but I suppose I can talk to them about various scenarios. And there are some things that are important to me I can look out for.

[EllieG]

x-post there scottishmummy - that's really helpful ta

[snickersnack]

I would always ask about staff turnover - a really good indicator of a happy nursery, I think. I agree with kingfix that most of the questions about procedure will have been asked a hundred times and you'll get standard answers which won't tell you anything.

Don't be put off a bit of mess or even (dare I say) slightly less than pristine toys - it doesn't really matter. Are the children all busy and looking happy? Do they come up and talk to you? Are the staff engaging with them or are they looking bored in a corner? What about outside activities - do they get fresh air? What about messy play - one nursery we looked at said "oh yes, they do lots of that - sometimes we let them play with dry pasta". dd's current nursery strips them off and puts them in a vat of baked beans...When they get older, do they take them on trips? What are the arrangements for parental feedback - do they have parent evenings, do they produce daily reports etc?

Trust your instincts on this one.

[kingfix]

One other thing... some I visited when pg suggested I come back for a stay and play session once the baby was born. It seemed much easier to judge a place once I had a baby then when it all still seemed a bit hard to imagine.

[scottishmummy]

firstly congratulations

consider contact details in case of illness etc

your expectation of what you want

once your lo arrives you will know their personality/preferences/sleep/feeding etc.that will shape what happens

[busymum1]

ask about staff child ratio,
qualifications,
routine,
ofsted report,
first aiders,
flexibility,
policy for settling in, sickness, lateness etc,
but most importantly how children are, do they all seem happy and stimulated, do staff seem interested in children, examples of activities, do children get outdoor time if so how often if not what about physical activities,

[EllieG]

DO any of you have any thoughts on using nursery or childminder? There is a lady I know who I think would be a very good childminder (she is a fab Mum) so I am going to find out her availability, but I do like the thought of the stability and accountability of a nursery placement - but then my LO will only be 1, which is very little, so perhaps a childminder will give more individual mummy-style care? Any thoughts?

[gigglewitch]

I also say that good old gut instinct. if they let you see everywhere then they clearly aren't ashamed of their environment and more importantly what happens there. When we went to visit the nursery that ds2 and later DD have gone to, we saw all the rooms just doing what they were doing - including a child who was having a world class toddler tantrum. It was communicated clearly between staff that the reason for this was because the child had wanted someone elses toy and it had been explained to her that she should not hit the child to get the toy. Gist was, whilst keeping a careful eye on the child, none of the staff were giving her attention, whilst all were playing with other children or going about their business. When the lo realised she was wasting her time she gave up yelling and rolling on the floor and joined a group of others, where she was welcomed and given the materials for the activity like the others. I liked this and the way that all of the children were involved in stuff all the time - and genuinely happy and settled. My questions were on things like "how are you going to cope with his dairy free diet" and how would they encourage shy children, and seeing what all the children in each room were up to.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

staff turnover is absolutely key. Otherwise, go by instinct and whether it seems like a happy atmosphere, whether there are children crying and not being seen to.

[gigglewitch]

I reckon the choice between childminder and nursery is a personality one - of the child i mean. My DS1 went to a childminder and granparents, DS2 went to the childminder til he was 18 mo and then the nursery i posted about before, far and away the best option for him. DD [#3} has been to nursery from 10mo as she and ds2 are such similar personalities, again she is fantastically settled there.

[kingfix]

and another thing (sorry). I used to hang around outside at pick up time and ask parents about their experiences. Despite feeling like a creepy (pregnant) stalker, I was amazed how open people were and quickly got a picture of the various places' reputation. Will stop now (really) good luck with the new LO.

[EllieG]

What kind of personality traits do you mean? Sorry to sound so clueless.....

[gigglewitch]

me too, kingfix
personal recommendation is the best.

[EllieG]

LOL kingfix! I am a bit like that at the moment!

[scottishmummy]

my preference was nursery

more than one carer, set of Nursery nurses.that appealed to me rather than one individual CM

reliable (if CM ill you cant attend, nursery will sporadically use agency for staff illness) so you can still use

lots of checks and balances. manager and room supervisors to oversee

age appropriate baby room

structured activities etc

flexibility eg if you late at work

you will get lots of opinions on CM Or Nursery. up to you

[EllieG]

Hmmm. Much to think on. Is all very complicated having children isn't it? I thought the hardest bit was getting the BFP!

[gigglewitch]

sorry ellie! another mum-instinct thing i'm afraid ds1 is a more quiet thoughtful character, doesn't like large groups of people prefers one or two other children. very considerate little chap who I felt wouldn't have enjoyed nursery at all, would have been overwhelmed by it. the younger two are more sociable, ds2 was going spare at the childminders, she is fabulous but nobody could have the energy to keep that lad busy, he needed lots of children and loads to do. DD is very sociable (she's gotta be with two brothers) and settled into the baby-room at the nursery on her first try-it-out visit!!

[EllieG]

Thanks again! I think I will have to put various plans in place and see what seems most appropriate for her when she is getting near to my going back to work time.

[scottishmummy]

my wee one loves nursery has lots of friends.has been a wholly positive experience

you just need to be aware some people will never agree with nursery provision and will give you
the look,
the protracted "oh nursery.....silence"
the precious moments speech

ach well thing is it is up to you

good luck with your pg ellie

[kingfix]

and you can always change your arrangements if they don't work out for you. On the CM/nursery thing, as everyone has said, whatever works for you and your baby...my daughter seemed quite timid and I was worried nursery would be too boisterous, but she has loved it and really come out of herself (ahem too much sometimes)

[EllieG]

Yeeeesss - my Mum has already done this. But I quite like the thought of a good nursery as I feel may be safer choice. Hey-ho. I shall think on and at least have an idea of where to start when I go look round them on friday.

Thanks all for helpful advice. Will print out this page and take with me as crib sheet!

[frasersmummy]

Ellie you might want to think about making 2 visits to the nursery at completly different times

First day I went they were all out in the garden just running around. I was encouraged to come back another day when it was less sunny.

I went back another day and found lots of small groups doing adult led acitivites.

I took it as a really positive sign that they said..you dont need an appt come anytime.. except between 11.30 and 12.30 (lunchtime)