17 month old settling at nursery, is this normal?

[whatamidoing2308]

Hi All,

Can anyone offer some advice or reassurance on nursery settles. I’m aware with current restrictions in place all children are finding it tough going back to school & nursery. I just don’t know what’s best for my little girl & i hate hearing she is so un happy there.
She goes 2 days a week and has been since august time when she started settle sessions, we had to start them some time before as she has always been a very attached baby with me so I knew she would struggle particularly with lockdown & not being held by anyone other than me & my partner. I couldn’t go into the nursery on her first settle day I just had to hand her over.
Fast forward and each time I dropped her off she cried (a lot) but as time went on it got a little easier I think by her bonding with her keyworker. It got to December last year and it was time for her to start settles in her new room which she was moving to in January. Apparently it those hours went ok & she took a liking to one girl who has now become one of her 2 keyworkers.
My little one has now been going since January however I tested positive to Covid on her first day back which meant us isolating for 2 weeks, then her keyworkers needing to isolate due to another case meaning she didn’t go in for 3 weeks plus the time off for Xmas.
I think she has been in the room a total of 4 or 5 times and each time has been hard for her, I’ve organised extra settle sessions next to her normal days but it still hasn’t improved.
Unfortunately she has just had a cold so had to take a day away this week & went back today but when I called to check how she was her keyworker said she had screamed & cried all morning, didn’t eat her lunch! This particular keyworker made some comments last time I picked my LO up saying she ‘follows’ them around & wants to be held all the time! Also some other fairly negative not needed comments that I didn’t appreciate however I understand it’s hard work for them with other babies needing attention to.
I’m allowed to have a moan about my baby but she’s not haha 😂

Anyway my question is really to see if anyone else has had issues with long settling in for nursery at this age? Am I doing more harm than good by taking her? She will be dropping a day soon so her gaps i between will be a lot bigger which makes me worry more!!

I spoke to the nursery tonight and raised my concerns and we have agreed to do more settle sessions in between her normal days. Maybe today was an extra off day for her, she hasn’t been happy since coming home. She has wanted to breast/comfort feed most of the night!!

Any advice would be appreciated

x

[Tumbleweed101]

Babies can take a while to settle, this isnt unusual and I'd be concerned about dropping to only one day a week in regards to this. We would usually prefer two half days to one full day with babies as it helps them get used to the staff and environment.

However I would be concerned with what has been said to you in regards to them saying she cries and follows them around. They should be used to managing this. It is common for babies who are settling to do this as they are trying to form attachments to the staff. This is a part of the job and managed correctly shouldn't take too long to move through it, they shouldn't be complaining about it to you. We usually try to highlight the positive parts of the day with our settling children and send photos when they are playing happily to reassure parents that at least some of the day during this period is fun.

If you have concerns then do speak with the manager to discuss the situation, they will be able to check and ensure staff are managing settling sessions correctly.

[whatamidoing2308]

Thank you for your reply. Yes I am going to speak to them about possibly doing 2 half days if possible depending on how many hours that will work out. As they have said she doesn’t tend to settle in for the day until being there for a few hours so she could be leaving just as she settles dependant on time.
Her comments weren’t put across in the right way in my opinion and as a childcare professional as you said they should be used to dealing with these situations. It makes me feel like my child is a nuisance as well as feeling heartbroken that she is so upset while there. I did speak to the manager and addressed my concerns, she was very understanding & we have agreed some extra settle sessions. She also said she will speak to the keyworker in question, I was concerned I would get her in trouble or make it awkward but what I said was only how her comments made me feel which is the truth.
I was worried that I am doing more harm than good sending her? But I guess I will keep going as she did eventually settle in her old room.. 🙏🏻🤞🏻

[jannier]

Such a shame it shouldn't be this bad why has she 2 keyworkers the whole point is one consistent person. This is why childminders can be better more consistency and one to one.