Nursery concerned by DS bruises

[TwittleBee]

Hi all

So DS had a rather nasty fall Wednesday, PIL didn't bloody strap him into his pram and he fell out, his face is really beaten up as a result.

Yesterday, when I dropped him off to Nursery they got me to fill out a form of what happened exactly (totally understand this is to cover their back etc).

But when DH picked DS up they then cross examined him about what happened. Of course typical DH didn't actually know the details (he said to me MIL told him but what he meant was she told him he hit his head but didn't say how). They essentially told him "oh TwittleBee said it was as a result of him climbing in the park, is this right?" And DH just said "oh right yeah sounds about right".

They said they'll have to log the incident as they are concerned about DS, especially as he isn't himself. Apparently he was really reserved and scared all day.

Personally I think he was just like that because he is currently getting over a nasty cold which means he needs steroids and unhalers not because he is distressed by us!

I'm really freaking out because social services were contact very recently about us when I had my mental health breakdown (I realised I needed help to protect myself so went to A&E)

So worried that if they get contacted now about this then they'll think DS isn't safe due to my mental health (he totally is btw, I would never do anything!!!!!)

Please put my mind at ease

[YeTalkShiteHen]

Did both of you tell nursery that he wasn’t in your care when he was hurt?

Has he seen a doctor? Him being quiet and not himself would be a concern for me, especially after hitting his head/face so severely.

The nursery are just following safeguarding procedures, they have to, especially with quite an obvious injury. It’s not personal, although I know it feels that way.

Can you get your PIL to write down exactly what happened and how he hurt himself so that if you’re asked again you’ve got it there?

[Sirzy]

So both parents have given very different versions of events? Understandably that will ring alarm bells. I find it odd hour partner doesn’t know how his son got such serious injuries!

Chances are if it’s a one off then nothing more will come of it. But nursery are right to record it as a concerning event.

[Fiffyshadesofgreymatter]

How can your husband not have been interested in how his son's face ended up like that? I'd be furious with him for being so uncaring that it's now leaf to this.

If they contact social services then SS will investigate. That will include speaking with your PIL so make sure they are willing to admit to what they did. Maybe agree with them that they won't have him on their own for a while, so you can tell ss that you're supervising to ensure he is safe.

How do you feel about staying with your nursery with them suspecting you?

[HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone]

They are following protocol and if they didn't they would probably be roasted for it if it turned out to be sinister.

I am amazed that your Husband has not got a clue how you DS got his injuries. Did he really not ask his mum what happened? I find that the most baffling part of your whole post to be honest.

[TwittleBee]

DS loves his key worker there and I really like their approach to learning through exploring so I don't want to move him! And surely that would look more suspicious?

And yes I am furious with DH! He's too bloody relaxed sometimes and it now comes across that he doesn't care!

I agree with you all saying they're doing there job. I'm thankful that people know when to step in and don't turn a blind eye. Too many children do suffer abuse. But I'm just so worried that SS will think it was a result of my mental health.

PIL will certainly be willing to explain what happened. It was my FiL that didn't strap him in, usually DS is just with MIL who would deffo have strapped him in.

I'm just getting myself so worked up about handing him over this morning

[WatchOutForTheCar]

Tbh, I would welcome any SS involvement as it would mean that the nursery's safeguarding was working. Let the process happen and if SS come knocking, just explain to them the truth.

[itsaboojum]

On the whole, I agree with previous replies. Nursery are correct to ask questions and take notes; even more so if there has been SS involvement in the past.

However, I would be very unhappy about how dad was questioned. They asked leading question about the accident, "it was as a result of him climbing in the park, is that right?" That’s a rather bad breach of safeguarding protocols for various reasons, that could get Nursery into trouble.

I would make that clear at your first opportunity, as well as the fact that the accident happened whilst neither parent was present

[TwittleBee]

Nursery arent aware of the previous SS involvement, in fact SS didnt even come over, they just gave me a quick call and could hear I was fine plus they said HV had no concerns etc.

I suppose I didnt actually even consider how they questioned DH as wrong. But yeah that is rather leading.

Anyway Nursery drop off was all fine, the early morning member of staff was her usual friendly self and we had our usual morning chat etc.

Probably just making this all worse in my head than it needs to be due to my mental health problems anyway!

[SinkGirl]

The nursery are right to be concerned but the way they’ve gone about it is not good. They should have asked him an open question about what happened - he could have been distracted at the time, or genuinely not know what happened (which would be strange I think but still) and just agreed with what they said.

You need to have a serious talk with your DH about this. He absolutely shouldn’t have responded that way - if he didn’t know he should have said so.