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Starting nursery at 11 months

(6 Posts)
Newfamily2014 Fri 06-Feb-15 14:58:22

My dd is 11months old and has just started nursery. It has been a horrible experience as I have never left her before, other than with Daddy for short, occasional periods of time. She is a confident little girl and knows that I will always be there for her- has never cried when I have left the room and was happy in a room full of strangers (family members she'd met for the first time) over Christmas.
When I took her to nursery for her induction (half a session) and for the actual first day they said she looked a confident girl and I should leave her. I did not know what to do so wanted to be guided by them. I now wonder if that was the right thing to do as I hear friends have had lots of settling in sessions, gradually leaving their child for longer and longer periods of time.
During the induction session, they said she cried on and off and didn't want to sleep nor eat and eventually got so tired she went to sleep in the play leaders arms.
Next time she was there (actual first day) she again didn't eat much/anything and didn't sleep for long (she normally has a HUGE and varied appetite and naps very well). Second day she ate better and slept a bit better.
Do you think I should ask if I can do some more settling in sessions with her? I really don't want to damage the fantastic bond we have together. We're back home now and she is her usual happy self again but it took a day..and after her time at nursery she needed a lot of reassurance and cried when I left the room or walked a few footsteps away-heart breaking. She also was unsettled overnight and ended up in bed with me, holding my finger.
Any suggestions please.. Sorry for the long post..hope it makes sense

Nolim Fri 06-Feb-15 15:03:42

She will be fine. Give her time.

PurpleStripedSock Fri 06-Feb-15 15:08:42

It's such early days and I understand all your fears and concerns. I'm a single parent and when I returned to work my DD was not quite 11 months. She had never been left with anyone ever, not even a daddy and I was (still am) breastfeeding her.

We did have a gradual transition, spaced out over a week with the nursery which helped (her and I) with the separation process.

Nearly a year on and she sleeps a lot less at nursery than she does at home but eats well and utterly loves it there. She is sometimes shaky when entering in the morning if one of her keyworkers isn't present but she cannot get enough of the place otherwise.

I don't know what to advise re: settling again once she's started full days as I'm no expert.

It is normal for them to be a bit upset at the start and it can take time for you both to settle into the groove of the new routine.

Swannykazoo Fri 06-Feb-15 15:25:30

Honestly, I was like this (2 months ago), settling my 12 month old in throes of separation anxiety, only slept when pushed to sleep in buggy or fed to sleep, settling in days weren't great before xmas and then 2 weeks christmas holidays and both of us were back to work fulltime. So, did 3 half days where we just had to tough it out, and little puggle was v quiet, almost sulky with me for an hour or two after we got home. The staff reassured me, and at their suggestion, he then did 2 longer days. 5 weeks later, he has stopped crying even at drop off and beams when he sees the building nursery is in. He still howls the place down if I walk out of the room at home but has really settled into nursery.
So, don't worry honestly - it doesn't take long

HSMMaCM Sun 08-Feb-15 17:47:48

It sounds lovely if they are cuddling her to sleep. I wouldn't go back to settling in now.

Lj8893 Sun 08-Feb-15 17:50:04

My dd started nursery at 11 months (now 15 months) and was abit like that for a while (she goes one full day a week). She absolutely loves nursery now and has learnt so many new things.

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