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Settling in - Not going so well, advice please

(7 Posts)
ReetPetit Fri 28-Jun-13 14:01:19

go for a childminder!! am a childminder now myself so that I could stay home with my 2 boys, having worked 20 yrs in nurseries....

it is normal for them to take a while to settle, so I wouldn't be too worried but being so clingy at home and also the fact she is waking at night suggests something is really bothering her.

why don't you visit some childminders and see how dd reacts to them? I wouldn't sign up and pay a months fees in advance for a nursery I wasn't 100% sure about. you are looking at a good time too as a lot of cms will have children leaving for school in or before September.

Jaynebxl Thu 27-Jun-13 23:27:49

I'd go for a childminder. In fact I did! I wanted that cosy home from home feel. Worked for my DC.

LittleMilla Tue 25-Jun-13 22:37:04

Give it a couple of months. Like willow says, it's a big adjustment and it will take time for her to enjoy it per se.
My ds was quite similar initially but now loves nursery. Looks forward to going and is socially now so much more adept. He'll still have a wobble if he's not greeted by one of his faves in the morning, but that's just him. I am so pleased I stuck with it.

You need to have confidence in the nursery staff and keep on talking to them- it's perfectly fine to feel anxious at first. But try not to let dd pick up on it.

k4mi Tue 25-Jun-13 22:31:53

Thanks for the replies. Yes that's what I am asking myself...perhaps a cm would suit her better as she seems to prefer pne-to-one attention. Since starting 3 weeks ago she's become extremely clingy (even cries when daddy goes to work although mum is staying), not sleeping through (one of us has to sleep on her bedroom floor...) and generally not her happy self. I don't want to give up too soon but feel like perhaps it's making her unhappy and I don't want to be pushed into signing up by the nursery as settling in has now finished and I have to pay a month in advance. Anyone been in a similar situation?

SimLondon Fri 21-Jun-13 22:45:19

It is early days, but trust your gut instinct. Would your LO be more suited to a childminder? Or a different nursery, my LO didnt settle at the first one - but a few weeks later settled in very quickly at a different nursery.

Willowbear Fri 21-Jun-13 18:37:53

It's not unusual for your daughter to still be upset at this stage. You have to remember that the world in which she knew has drastically changed and it will take some getting used to.

It will get easier as time goes on. She will come to understand that you will return for her every day and she will start to build a bond with the keyworker and other staff.

I would perservere and given time she will settle, it just takes some children longer than others to feel comfortable in a new environment.

k4mi Thu 20-Jun-13 22:22:40


We started settling in our 16 month old in at a local nursery recently. She will be going there three days a week however so far has attended 5 'settling' sessions over 2 weeks. The first I was with her for a couple of hours, the rest she was alone and they have varied from 2hrs up to 4hrs. As of next week she is due to be starting full days (8-5) however so far she has been quite upset when I leave and extremely upset when I return. I'm not sure how upset she is when I am away, I think less (staff tell me this) but I am not convinced she is 'enjoying' it as when I arrive she also looks very tearful, is exhausted (wont sleep or eat there) and has her comforter and dummy to hand (only really for sleeping). She seems very overwhelmed. She is the sort of child that likes one-to-one attention / is shy in groups and so I picked a very small nursery (13 children) however it is perhaps still too much.

I am back at work 2.5 days so I definately need enough childcare to cover that. My work have been very accommodating the last two weeks allowing me to work from home a lot so I can collect her and bring home for babysitter to look after but obviously they are expecting me to be in the office for full days next week when she starts full days.

The other thing to add to this is that we move house next weekend, very local and closer to the nursery but I am concerned this is going to have some sort of negative effect on her.

Tonight she has struggled to go to sleep without both me and her daddy in the room...usually she's a great sleeper. She has become incredibly clingy which I don't mind I am just worried I might be doing the wrong thing.

Anyone have experience in this? The reason i want to stick with it is that the nursery is excellent, on our street and it's almost impossible to get a place in our area as so over subscribed. everywhere. We have been 6 months on the waiting list for this one. On the other hand I really don't want her to be unhappy so would consider child minder/nanny which would be possible probably.

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