Lost property - should I have made a fuss?

[duffybeatmetoit]

DD at small nursery where they are allowed to bring in their own things for free play at the start of the day, the items then being stored in a box until the end of the day. DD took in her favourite book a couple of weeks ago but at the end of the day it was nowhere to be found. Nursery promised to have a look for it the following day. It didn't turn up but there was some confusion as DD's key worker finishes for the day before I pick up and she appeared to be the one who would know what was happening. DD was obviously asking for her book every day at home and I would think also at nursery. Staff have told me that they have searched throughout the setting and not found it and clearly think that resolves the problem.

Clearly I shouldn't have let DD take her favourite book to nursery but would you have expected nursery to have had a quiet word with other parents? I know how easy it is for children to pick up something that interests them and pop it in their bag - quite possibly one of the others has taken it home without the parents being aware of it.

I have tried replacing it but without success so far.

[HSMM]

How many children are in the nursery. Could you print off some little notes for the children to take home, asking if they have picked it up by mistake (maybe one of them has the same book at home)?

I don't need to tell you not to send in precious things, you already know that.

[Geordieminx]

Have you tried amazon/eBay?

I know that isn't really the problem, but I do sympathise. Ds has lost loads if stuff at nursery... Wellies, coats, etc etc

Taking toys in seems like a reciepe fir disaster IMO....am really surprised the nursery encourage it.

[Ciske]

I understand your dilemma. DD lost her coat at nursery and in spite of us asking daily about it, and claiming they contacted all the parents, it is yet to turn up.

I'm not sure how far to take our complaints out it. On the one hand, it's just a coat. On the other hand, it's lost/stolen property and surely the nursery bears some responsibility for keeping it safe. I can't exactly send DD into nursery without a coat and the nursery wouldn't be impressed if we lost their property, so I am quite annoyed about it. :( Yet I don't know what else I can do apart from chase them constantly until it turns up.

[dribbleface]

As a nursery manager i'm suprised they encourage toys from home (we actively ask parents not to - comfort items are of course and exception). We would in this situation email all parents and ask them to have a look, but if no one comes back then not sure what else we can do.

Was the book labelled with her name? habe you checked on their book rack - these things have a habit of ending up in with nursery stuff?!

[duffybeatmetoit]

I think nursery allows it because the children are so keen to show their friends things and it might lead on to discussions which would fit in with the child led learning approach - but I'm only guessing. They also use it as an intermediary stage from having comfort items with them all day to this stage where they are allowed limited access and then on to nothing taken to school.

HSMM about 40 children. Nursery don't seem keen to do this but I might have a word with some of the mums and get the word round and see what happens.

Geordie have looked on Amazon/Ebay but the replacement would cost a lot of money (to me anyway) which a) we don't have and b) would only be worth it if we were going to bar DD from going anywhere near it in order to protect its supposed value which wouldn't solve the problem.

dribbleface I hadn't thought to label it . I have been through the book racks and they say that they have turned the place upside but no joy.

Ciske I understand exactly how you feel. Nursery clearly don't want to pursue it and I feel that I am jeopardising relationships with the staff if I mention it. I've told DD that she can't take anything else in unless her book is found which has caused numerous upsets as it is inevitably the precious stuff that she wants to show her friends.

[Grabaspoon]

Have- you asked them at what point do they think it went missing ie was it in the box when they locked it away? Chances are it could be under paper work, in a book box out of sight, dropped down the side of a unit or someone has taken it home. Have you asked DD what happened to her book?

[sassyminder]

Do you mind telling us the name of this so precious and expensive book that you sent to a nursery whitout a label on it?

[Marne]

Which book is it? maybe one of us will have it.

[ChristinedePizan]

Never, ever send your DC to nursery with any possession that isn't immediately replaceable at the supermarket.

Sorry, that's a bit shutting the door after the horse has gone but seriously, stuff just goes missing. And 40 kids is not small. That's loads of children.

I think all nurseries/pre-schools/schools should have a policy where children are not allowed to bring stuff in. It creates jealousy (look what I've got and you're not allowed to play with it because it's mine) and anxiety for the children/parents when the item goes missing. It's a crap idea all round.

[sassyminder]

But looks like the idea was to create and encourage jeaulosy, look:

'Ciske I understand exactly how you feel. Nursery clearly don't want to pursue it and I feel that I am jeopardising relationships with the staff if I mention it. I've told DD that she can't take anything else in unless her book is found which has caused numerous upsets as it is inevitably the precious stuff that she wants to show her friends.

Anyway, I bet that some of the underpaid and overworked, unappriciated by the owners, managers and parents stole put it by mistake in their bag...since it is so expensive.....

[Grabaspoon]

I don't read it as such Sassy - she says she won't send anything else in, despite her DD wanting to show her precious things to her friends.

As a nanny I have had to deal with children wanting to show their friends something - eg a ceramic beatrix potter cup from their christening and I have had to say "No - it's too precious" and this has caused numerous upsets.

A bit like what OP said.

[sassyminder]

I guess I am in a bad mood

[duffybeatmetoit]

The book was a battered old Ladybird Cinderella. It didn't occur to me to label it as nothing had gone missing before.

There seems to be some confusion about "precious" - the book is precious to DD because it is her favourite version - we have several versions of Cinderella but that is the one she likes the best and asks for. Other precious things can be a free gift from a magazine or a card she's been sent. The value of the item is meaningless to her, it's generally that the children want to show each other the latest thing that has grabbed their attention rather than toddler oneupmanship.

sassy I'm sure the staff are battling to nick the precious Happy Meal freebies, pink play phones etc that the children bring in.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

I have to say that on the rare occasion DD wants to take something in, I generally agree with the understanding that we'll never see it again. Not through any fault, just numbers of children + number of toys = chaos. So I only allow her to take in tat, nothing we'd be sorry to lose.

[meditrina]

this is the edition you're after, it's £2.99 from the Ladybird website.

[duffybeatmetoit]

meditrina your link isn't working but it's a version from the 1960s.

[Scholes34]

They've loads of the "vintage" Ladybird books, including Cinderalla, on eBay.

I wouldn't send anything to nursery that I'd regret not seeing again.

[meditrina]

I know the version you mean! I'm sure I've seen a facsimile version for sale recently (might have been part of a box set of retro favourites). I'm not sure if the one I found on the Ladybird page was it though. I'll have another look and post if I find it.

[Scholes34]

I've a collection of around 300 old Ladybird books, so I know the books well. You'll only get an exact replica if you go to eBay or are lucky in a charity shop/second hand book shop. The new versions aren't as nice.

[duffybeatmetoit]

Update: Nursery has kindly given DD a copy of a different version of the book to replace the lost one. She's happy to have been given a present and they have written her name in it although she won't be taking it in to nursery.