Hello and looking for advice

[Jacky22]

Hi everybody

I am new, and the mother of a 13 year old daughter, and we are going through big discussions at the moment about her being able to go out on her own. I have posted in the Teenagers thread about this specifically, but if anyone has any handy tips and advice I would be grateful. Up to now she has rarely been out on her own, except to round the local shop, or when she was at school (she's now home-educated) she occasionally went back to a friend's house who lived near the school, when I had to work, and she has had sleepovers in other friends' houses and gone out locally with them in their areas. But never on her own, and she has now started to think of places she wants to go to, reasons to go on her own, and it is paralysing me with fear. I can totally see her side of it, and how what she is proposing sounds perfectly reasonable, but then my fear of not being able to contact her and that she would not come back totally takes over.

[4kidsDad]

Hi Jacky. We've just been having similar chats! We explained our worries about her being alone in places, and she felt better when she understood it's not that we don't trust her to be sensible or responsible. It's other people and dangers that we have to be aware of. So we agreed some compromises and that we'd keep reviewing it as she got older and it's not a no forever. We got her a phone, put all our numbers in it, a portable charger and battery so she doesnt run out, we have a tracker on her phone that shows her location to us at all times, and we said we'd be happy to pay for her to take a friend with her, or if not that we'd be happy to drive/accompany her somewhere new the first time and grab a coffee or go shopping nearby If she goes to a new place - so she'd know where we were and so we knew she wouldn't get lost on future trips to the same place. Daytime only and nowhere dodgy. She's been v happy with that and it's worked brilliantly. She ended up going with friends most times anyway. She just wanted to feel trusted and feel able to stretch the reins a bit