Reassurance for my friend please - jealous one-year old twin

[NotQuiteSoBigBird]

My lovely RL friend has b/g DTs who are now a year old. DD is very bright, even precocious, walking, very inquisitve, confident and outgoing. My friend is having a tough time with DD's jealousy of DS, apparently DD goes mad, screaming hysterically when my friend cuddles DS, and wants to be held all the time. DD is much better when she has her mum to herself, though obviously that isn't often possible. My friend says she has been trying her best to ignore DD's bad behaviour and reinforce DS's good behaviour, but without much success so far. She works but has an au pair and a very hands-on DH, so there is help available. I suggested trying to spend a bit more time individually with each DC when she can, and said it is probably just a phase, but that seemed a bit lame . Anyone got any more helpful advice? Or even just reassurance that this is normal with twins at this age?

[mummytotwins]

It is totally normal, I have 18 month old b/g dt's and my DD hates me giving my DS any attention, I tend to give her a cuddle etc then give her a toy or book and turn my attention to my DS. Im sure she will eventually grow out of it it just seems boys are more laid back about everything whereas little girls are a bit more 'highly strung' x

[NotQuiteSoBigBird]

Thanks, mummytotwins, did it start as young as this with yours? A year old seems quite early. My DTs (also b/g) are 9 months and we think we are starting to see some signs of this from DD already too, really not looking forward to handling it. But for now they are lovely .

[mummytotwins]

Oh yes!!!! it started very very early on with mine, dont worry though, while it can be quite a stressful thing they are still lovely and can sit and play together and share toys. They are great friends it just seems that my DD believes she is the only one who is allowed cuddles, poor DS but he gets lots of sly cuddles to make up for it, he is a lovely laid back little man and gives me massive hugs x