When are you safe to announce pregnancy?

[e3chick]

I just can't relax. I am only 11+1 but I can't see me feeling much more relaxed in a week's time. Maybe if I got to 22 weeks I might relax a fraction.
I asked the consultant today when I could relax and when the chances of miscarriage would drop, and he said that miscarriage was always a much higher risk for twins so it was different to a singleton in that respect. In a nutshell, he sounded like he was saying I couldn't relax until they were born!

What does everyone else do? I haven't told a soul as doing so seems to be tempting fate.

[DottyDot]

Hi - I didn't have twins and neither did dp, but I think it's about telling people when you feel ready - and I know this is going to sound a bit weird, but I always thought that if (god forbid) anything awful happened, my friends would be there to give me support so I wanted them to know - they'd be with me whatever happened.

I felt at a bit higher risk than other people due to some health problems but told everyone the day I found out - at about 4 weeks... dp did the same, but maybe you'll feel better after you've had your first or second scan?

Congratulations by the way - maybe when people know and they're making a fuss of you and getting all excited it'll help as well to make you feel relaxed and positive? I hope things go really well for you and hope you feel able to start telling people soon!

[tkband3]

Your consultant is right that a multiple pregnancy is always going to be higher risk than a singleton one, but it sounds like he's scared you more than necessary.

I think most people announce pregnancies after the 12 week scan, just to be on the safe side - I did for both mine (singleton DD1 and then DTs). With DD1 I wouldn't let anyone buy anything for the baby till after the 20 week anomaly scan.

What kind of multiples are you carrying? Is it a particularly high risk multiple pregnancy? To be honest, you'll probably soon be too big to keep it a secret anyway . And if (and that's a very big if) something did happen, it might be easier if some of your close friends and family did know, so that they could support you through a difficult time.

Only you know what you're comfortable with though, and I'm very familiar with not wanting to tempt fate as I'm very superstitious as well .

BTW - congratulations on your pregnancy . You've just told quite a few people on here .

[e3chick]

tkband3 It's different on the internet though!

They are dcda, so that lowers the risk I think. The only reason I am so petrified is previous miscarriages and constant spotting of old blood. He scanned me this morning so I know they are a very good size and have heartbeats, I just can't relax. I have also read a couple of stories recently of women losing twins at 15 weeks and they have really put the sh*ts up me.

[Meeely3]

We had already told people I was pregnant when I did the test which was around 5 - 6 weeks.....when we found out it was twins at the 12 week scan we were in shock for about 6 months an hour before we rang everyone to tell them! I second everyone else who says IF anything went wrong you would want your close friends and family to support you. Telling people is not going to make things go wrong, remember that, its just a superstition.

Also wait until you are ready for the shocked looks from everyone, the "double trouble" comments, the "are there twins in your family?" questions and then the "are you sure there's only two in there?" questions as you get bigger!

[e3chick]

Your right about the superstition, but you know if something did go wrong I don't know I would want anyone to know. People would well-meaningly say the wrong things, or be overly sympathetic when I want to tough it out, or insist on talking about it when I didn't want to.

ALSO, I am dreading the shocked/pitying looks and the 'rather you than me' negativity, so that is a deterrent.
I think I am a weirdo, but having a special secret of my own is also nicer than having it out there for public consumption. I think I'll give it until week 13 and then see.

[curiositykilled]

Personally I felt extremely worried and scared until they were still big and healthy at the 20 week scan (at which point I calmed down a bit) and am thinking I'll probably feel completely fine again after the 24 week mark where they become viable.

I also told everybody at each stage when we found out at 4 weeks, then about the twins at 12 week scan but this was because I personally felt I would much rather tell people the happy part even if it went wrong than be forced only to share the news at the point it went bad. I also have 2 children already that we had to tell and so I couldn't rely on them to keep it a secret!I'm sure it just comes down to personal preference.

Twin pregnancies are more likely to have old blood spotting because of high hormone levels. I was shocked as I had a big lump of clotting appear at 14 weeks and I just went straight to bed, panicked and cried for a whole week but this was completely unecessary as it turned out fine.

I think it is hard to feel reassured at all during the full length of a multiple pregnancy and labour and so I have decided to just accept that the worry is a part of this kind of pregnancy, that it is mostly all in my mind, that if there's a reason for something to happen it will anyway and if not, there's no reason to worry so there's no point. This doesn't stop you freaking out but I find it helps you get a handle on yourself when you do. PLUS having twice the hormones has been making me EXTREMELY emotional!

[poorbuthappy]

I had to tell everyone as soon as I found out...a lot of it was because they were id (or is that are id??) and I needed to be scanned every 2 weeks from the 12th week onwards which meant work had to know.
Also I started to throw up for britain.

But I suppose the main reason was that I looked 20 weeks pregnant at 13 weeks, 30 weeks at 20 weeks and ready to pop from about 28 weeks only...