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Apparently my identical boys are not"identical identical are they?"

(53 Posts)
groovychick2 Wed 27-Aug-08 20:54:24

Has anyone else had this said to them?My boys had ttts and one is very slightly smaller than the other with a slightly different shaped head.A few people have commented on this and implied that they cant be identical.Despite this they still cant tell whos who!!I would love to know the best response to this annoying comment as I know I am sensitive to it due my experience of ttts.

glamourbadger Wed 27-Aug-08 21:10:37

So funny you have brought this up - I get it constantly. My standard reply is that I should have taken them back and asked for a refund grin. Random people on the street have been sooooo insistent "no they AREN'T identical!", despite not having been there at the birth or for the 23 scans leading up to it. Mine are now so different I get "they look so similar, they could be twins!". Just let it wash over you in the tide of ridiculous twin comments - everyone is an expert...

groovychick2 Thu 28-Aug-08 11:00:48

Thanks for reply.I dont dress mine the same do you?Makes it easier to know whos who & who wants to go through life dressed the same as someone else anyway?Think if I did thou less people would comment as it is what they expect.

BloodySmartarse Thu 28-Aug-08 11:03:52

when people make comments like this, theyre talking about themselves and their own perceptions. im pretty sure most people are just trying to see if they can tell them apart... identical twins are interesting arent they? you dont see them all the time.
id have killed to have an identical twin.... sigh.

congrats on yours, you lucky thing. smile

MarsLady Thu 28-Aug-08 11:06:38

Try to let it wash over you darling. I'm constantly being told that mine (g/b) can't be twins because he's bigger than her. Okay then! Tell that to my womb!

Another thing that I used to get because they were incredibly pale at birth (and I am a gorgeous black woman grin) was "oh they're not yours though are they?"

People are stupid! Present company excepted! grin

groovychick2 Thu 28-Aug-08 11:20:16

Marslady- that comment bout yr twins is sooo bloody ridiculous isnt it!!!smile

belgo Thu 28-Aug-08 11:23:09

people do say dim things regarding twins. My friend has boy/girl twins and she's been asked 'are they identical?'grin

BloodySmartarse Thu 28-Aug-08 11:26:21

lol at present co excepted grin

really, imo people are saying things about themselves, not you when they gibber like this. people feel this need to say something dont they, and out comes a load of old bull more often than not.

like the fabulous mars says; just let it wash over you; the idiocy of others need not be given the power to get under your skin, even for a moment smile

groovychick2 Thu 28-Aug-08 11:27:22

Thick or what??? Amazes me that having twins seems to give people the right to pass what ever comment they like or ask what ever they like too!!!I know it interests other people but becomes v tedious when you have heard it a million times before angry

MarsLady Thu 28-Aug-08 11:31:25

<psst belgo... g/b twins can be identical if the egg split early enough. It is incredibly rare for id twins to be completely id. Id twins grow to look different>

as you were people! grin

<<preens at being called fabulous>>

belgo Thu 28-Aug-08 11:33:07

marslady - how does that work then? If they come from the same egg, do they not have the same DNA, making it impossible for one to be a girl and the other a boy?

Mamazon Thu 28-Aug-08 11:34:49

just say "no your right, they're not. that one is Tom and that one is harry"

ignore them.

groovychick2 Thu 28-Aug-08 11:36:25

I often reckon it would be a good idea to create a hand out for people when they make an uninformed comment with all the details on various twin types.A friend of mine who is a nurse reckoned they knew they were identical in the womb due to there being 2 willies!!!very technical.Could have been non identical willies!!!grin

tiggerlovestobounce Thu 28-Aug-08 11:41:25

Interested to hear how b/g twins could be ID?

MarsLady Thu 28-Aug-08 11:44:08

if the egg splits incredibly early then the 2 id eggs carry XXY. All eggs start XXY. If one drops and X and the other a Y then they are ID (apart, of course from the genitalia - which is why people say they can't be id).

I have a wonderful DVD that explains it all but have lent it out to a client who never managed to send it back. It was also on on of the BBC channels the whole story of twins, triplet and quads.

It was my consultant who first told me and since running anenatal classes for parents expecting multiples it continues to fascinate me.

belgo Thu 28-Aug-08 11:47:15

that's very interesting. I'm still a bit perplexed thoughgrin

MarsLady Thu 28-Aug-08 12:00:06

I was at first but when I watched the DVD I was amazed. I mean I didn't realise that ID twins could grow up to look different.

groovychick2 Thu 28-Aug-08 12:05:00

can you buy this dvd & what is the title etc?smile

MarsLady Thu 28-Aug-08 12:06:25

You can indeed. I'll fish the title out and where you can buy it (but need to pop out now so remind me if I haven't put the info up in the next couple of days) grin

shabster Thu 28-Aug-08 12:10:35

Mars - PMSL at your first post on this thread!!! You bootiful black woman you!!!

My twins were non-identical but very similar apart from size. Firstborn was always at least 2lbs heavier than little bro.

Used to get the comments 'you havent much of an age gap there love' (no you are right 14 mins actually) 'bet you aren't feeding the little 'un as much as this big one! (no I don't feed the little un anything!)

Twins are so special - ignore the nutters - and enjoy your children!!

mumoftwinz Thu 28-Aug-08 12:49:21

Twinning is complicated but as a general rule the word 'identical' is a misnomer. Its is all to do with the zygosity! Or how many zigote's (eggs!) Therefore, 1 egg, = monozygotic - identical twins, 2 eggs dizygotic - fraternal (no more or less similar than any other siblings).

I believe that the earlier the egg splits in two (or more) the more alike the children will be due to mitochrondrial DNA (bits and bobs leading to slight differences ie, bigger frame, moles etc)outside the nucleus attaching to only one. So if they are monozygotic they will look either totally the same or just broadly the same. Mine look totally different to me, but so alike to everyone else. Mine are monozygotic but one is taller, and one has slightly funny shaped head (due to womb position i think.) Monozygotic twins account for about 30% of all twins.

Would be quite amusing to spout this at the next annoying person to ask! wink

tiggerlovestobounce Thu 28-Aug-08 19:39:25

Marslady
Do you have a reference to the thing about eggs all starting XXY?
I thought that eggs were all single X and sperm either X or Y (apart from in very rare situations). The only reference I can find which seems to be a bit like you are suggesting is if a zygote with Klinefelter syndrome (XXY) splits unevenly, leading to one being XY, and one being XX, but that is meant to be extremely rare.

nappyaddict Sat 30-Aug-08 01:38:34

Basically they both start off as XY (male) then one of the twins loses its Y chromosome and becomes female. The syndrome is called Turner's Syndrome because the girl twin only has one X chromosome instead of two.

ghosty Sat 30-Aug-08 03:02:24

My DSs best friend is an identical twin. But she doesn't look exactly like her sister - they look incredibly similar of course but they don't look identical, although they are identical.
As children get older things changed don't they? Twin A has longer hair than twin B and thier grown up teeth have come through slightly differently .. Twin B has very slightly different shaped eyes etc etc ...
The mum says that they are 'mirror twins' ... Does anyone know what that means?

Anna8888 Sat 30-Aug-08 07:29:08

My FOL is an identical twin.

When my elder stepson was a very little boy, he was at a family gathering. Apparently he looked up and saw his great-uncle and said to his father "Look, there's another grandpa." grin

The two men (who are now over 70) are very alike still.

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