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Just found out I'm having twins

(16 Posts)
KO80 Thu 16-Mar-17 06:38:21

Hi All,

I guess I just wanted to vent really, I found out this week I'm having twins. I already have a son who is 8 months old, he will be 13/14 months when the twins are born. I'm just feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

We wanted another baby close in age, it happened a bit sooner than planned and was natural (I'm a twin so much for it skipping a generation) I had got my head around being pregnant and having two close together. But now I know it's twins I'm just not thrilled and excited, I feel dreadful for feeling like this.

My husband isn't phased at all, he's so pleased and says it's a blessing which I know it is, I'm just not there yet.

My son is gorgeous I love him so much but he wasn't an easy baby, he had awful colic and would never be put down. Once he started crawling and sitting up things and improved 100% he stated crawling early at 6 months and sleeps really well at night for 12 hours.

But the thought of starting again with two babies just feels me with dread.

I don't have much help, my parents are too old, I have 4 sisters I'm close with two of them but one lives in Bristol and the other has two small kids, they have said they will help and are so excited. My husband has also said we can get help if I need it.

Does anyone else feel like this, I want to be excited I guess maybe I'm just will and shock and full of hormones! Vent over thanks!

Lovelybreadbin Thu 16-Mar-17 06:53:11

I was horrified when I found out I was having twins. My age gap was just under 2.5 years, so a bit bigger than yours, but I couldn't be truly happy about it for ages. I didn't want anything bad to happen, but I couldn't get excited.

They're now 18 months, and it's lovely. The first year (particularly the first six months) are a complete blur now, I don't remember much.

It'll be fine. Not easy to imagine that, I know, but just try and concentrate on keeping as well as possible for now.

Middleoftheroad Thu 16-Mar-17 07:25:00

I cried when I found out - even though they were my first - as I had not even planned for one, let alone two and had no idea what to do.Not exactly a baby person!

Corny, but it really did feel like a blessing later (though i wanted to punch anybody who said those words at first) and the bond my boys (now 10) have is great. Are you clise with your twin?

KO80 Thu 16-Mar-17 09:17:07

Thanks for your replies, they really help, I don't feel so bad now for not being happy yet!

MumofthreeandBean Thu 16-Mar-17 10:42:38

I cried when I found out, hubby was excited, we have 3 older children too.
I am 30 weeks now and although I've come around to the idea I am scared!!

Lovelybreadbin Thu 16-Mar-17 14:50:35

Don't feel bad at all! It's a scary prospect!

Have you seen a consultant yet? I found the hardest time was between my 12 week scan (when I found out) and the first consultant appointment at 16 weeks. If I could have changed anything about my ante-natal care, I'd have like to see somebody sooner. It might have helped my mental state.

neversleepagain Thu 16-Mar-17 17:07:38

My twins were my first dc. I am not having more, it completely floored me! I love them dearly but my god it's been tough.

You will be massively ovwewhelmed with 3 under 16 months but this wont last forever and they will all grow up together which will be lovely.

Congratulations op.

putdownyourphone Thu 16-Mar-17 17:11:58

Eeeek! Congratulations! My twins were my first so not exactly the same boat. I found the first 5 months hard (colic, reflux etc) but now it's just wondeful (10mo) - they really do entertain each other. Is there any chance you can get paid help for the first few weeks? I got a mother's help for 12 hours a week and it really did help and I could get some sleep.

KO80 Fri 17-Mar-17 19:19:03

Thanks for your replies, it's so nice to know my feelings are normal!

I had a consultant appointment booked in anyway at 17 weeks. I think it would be helpful to have an appointment sooner, they drop this bombshell then no info except I have a scan at 15 weeks!

I think I'll look at maybe getting some paid help!

NoMoreStickers Sat 18-Mar-17 08:58:20

Mine were my first (and only!) and I recall going to an antenatal class and we had to pick cards to say how we felt, everyone else picked 'blessed' and 'grateful' whilst me and my dh selected 'overwhelmed' and 'terrified'. It will be incredibly hard but you will surprise yourself with what you can do and you already know how to handle a baby so you know the ropes! I think being a twin will give you a fantastic insight as they get older too xxxxxxx good luck, if I can do it you can xxxxx

TheEagle Sun 19-Mar-17 17:13:08

Congratulations! My DS1 was 18.5 months when my twins were born.

I felt very overwhelmed for a lot of my pregnancy but my DH was very calm and positive throughout.

Some people are generally very negative about multiples so that doesn't help.

I won't lie; it's been hard and it continues to be challenging now that DS1 is 3.5 and DTs (boys as well) are just about to turn 2. But I see flashes of the friends that they are going to be for each other, my twins fascinate me all the time in their development and my older boy can never remember a time without his little brothers.

Mind yourself during your pregnancy, be kind to yourself, surround yourself with positive people. You are only one person, you can only do so much. I love my children dearly and some days that has to be enough because we don't achieve much!

Good luck and feel free to PM me if you'd like any more advice/support.

Oh, I've also heard that TAMBA and Home Start are super helpful. I'm not in the UK so don't have access to a wide range of services.

MumOfPreemieTwins Tue 21-Mar-17 11:54:37

Congrats!!! It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed and scared. And the small age gap of course comes with its own challenges! I have 6 month old twins (and a preschooler) and having twins is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me!!! Yes, it's pretty full on, and we don't have much time for ourselves (or money left over at the end of the month), but I wouldn't change it for the world!!! Having twins is so, so special. I was worried I wouldn't be able to enjoy it because it would just be too crazy (busy) but I can honestly say I've never been happier🙂 Congratulations and good luck x

Didiplanthis Sun 02-Apr-17 19:34:41

Hello. I cried too when I found out. And every time I thought about it for the next 6 weeks. Then I just avoided thinking about it too much ! My dd was just turned 2 when they were not. My dd had been a difficult colicky baby who didn't sleep in the day AT ALL. I also had PND. Safe to say I couldn't even begin to work out how I would cope. It turned out they were really easy babies had to fit into our existing routine which seemed to help and I found my mat leave with them was one of the happiest times of my life. Yes it was hard , yes I was tired but I felt so empowered by coping ( sounds ridiculous but true ! ) it really boosted my confidence. Congratulations. I know how bleak it feels but you will cope and you will even enjoy bits of it.

Didiplanthis Sun 02-Apr-17 19:35:22

2 when they were Born - not 'not'

nuttyknitter Sun 02-Apr-17 22:15:18

My twins were my first DC. Nearly 40 years ago, so less common pre IVF, and I was appalled at how excited the medical staff seemed when we found out! I was terrified. It was hard work, but the bond they still have is amazing and I wouldn't have done it differently.

KO80 Tue 04-Apr-17 07:55:42

Thank you for your replies, it really helps to know what I was feeling is normal!

I'm now 16 weeks and had a scan yesterday, I was so pleased and relieved they were fine, I was happy to see both of them on the screen. It was nice feeling like that I think I've been so worried and stressed how I'm going to cope it was good feeling pleased to see them. Not sure if that makes sense!

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