Help! Just found out I'm pregnant with twins and so anxious

[Darcourse]

Can anyone please make me feel better about this?

We already have a DS (4) and I remember how difficult those early weeks were. Now we're expecting twins. DH is over the moon, but I'm not getting my head around it at all. I'm 6 weeks, and we have another scan in a couple of weeks. Can anyone please tell me some of the good stuff about twins to make me feel better about it? I can't explain how anxious I am about it. I just feel sick and want to cry

[Darcourse]

Really? No one? It's that bad is it

[quesadillas6]

I felt the same. Now 35 weeks and feel a bit better. I'm still utterly petrified (also have 2.5 DS) but trying to convince myself it'll be ok.. No experience yet of actually having them obviously, but it'll be fine!

Good luck! Hope the next few months are smooth for you.

[Kickedinthetits]

God, I felt the same at my first scan. Just so so shocked. Never felt so shocked. Horrified really. Full of anxiety about how we would afford it, how we would cope (we have an older toddler too). Terrified of the higher risk pregnancy- also found out early so was unsure that both pregnancies would continue and if they did, felt frightened of risks of preterm labour etc.
Do you know what kind of twins they are or is it too soon to tell? At my 7 week scan, they could see that they were dcda which means two sacs and two placentas. If there is one placenta, that's slightly higher risk and means identical twins.

I got used to the idea very quickly and I'm so excited to meet my babies now. I'm 30 weeks. They're my babies, just like my dd and I'll love them just as much. I imagine it will be tough and mad but we'll survive because we have to. We'll lower our expectations of ourselves in terms of housework.

Anecdotally I have a couple of friends with twins. They both have said their twins slept much better than their singleton, possibly due to them being together. During the toddler years, it can be easier in some ways because they have each other to play with and so need less interaction.

Also... twice as many people to love.

You're in 'twin shock'. It does pass. Sometimes it comes back briefly when you but a double buggy or whatever. I'm certain it will come back after the birth when there are suddenly two whole humans to take care of. But you're part of the twin club now and you'll find that there is lots of support around.

[Bluebiscuits]

I'm a twin myself, so cant comment on the aspect of being a mum of twins, but I just came on to say its lovely growing up as a twin so your babies are very lucky! I think we were also able to entertain each other from a young age.

Good luck!

[TeenyfTroon]

I have twins. They're 19 and about to go into their second year at uni. I think you are lucky that you already know how to look after a baby/toddler/4 year old so it won't be such a steep learning curve.

Yes, its tiring, but often easier that they're at the same stage at the same time. I love the relationship my twins have with each other - I have a boy and a girl, and yes, they fall out, but they are very close.

There is lots of support for parents of twins and you will be treated as a bit of a novelty at mums and babies group. Useful when you need a spare pair of hands!

So look on the bright side. Twins are lovely! All the best.

[Darcourse]

Thankyou all so much. Bit tired and emotional right now so will respond properly later - but you don't know what it means to me to have your replies

[Rarity08]

My twins were easier to look after than dc#1. They slept better and were more content.

[mandy214]

Twin myself and twin mummy. There is nothing that will melt your heart as much as hearing them giggling with each other when you don't know why, just that they're both sharing that moment and that special bond.

It's hard but it's amazing too!

[goldglittershitter]

I have twins who r almost 3 n a singleton teenager . Guess which is miles easier?! Clue: the twins.

Newborn twins. Ok, it isn't a walk in the park straight away but certainly doable n if u can get a good sleep system going it is a doddle. I did it n am still smiling .

Terrible twos when there r two of them..... Well, lets just say it's a good thing u get two years to get used to that idea!

I am honest about life as a twin mummy. U do get asked a lot of questions n I always tell the truth. It is a challenge at times but one I feel truly blessed to have.

Honestly, it's not that hard n u get double the cuddles. Congrats to all u very lucky mummies . If anyone wants to message with questions u r more than welcome x

[goldglittershitter]

Oh n the shock is perfectly normal n natural. I am only coming to terms with the news now .

[neversleepagain]

It is normal to feel shock. You have the bonus of being a mother already.

Congratulations :)

[noiwontstoptalking]

Having baby twins is very hard work but they are so wonderful.

I always felt sorry for anyone with only one baby.

Mine are 7 yo now and just wonderful, funny, happy little people.

Go to the TAMBA website and find a local twins and multiple club. You can go while pregnant (taking your older one) and the parents there will be able to set your mind at rest.

[neversleepagain]

talking I also feel sorry for singleton children. I love that mine have each other for every step of their childhood. When I take one twin somewhere with me for some quality time I always feel sorry for them because they are on their own and may get lonely

[NanaNina]

My friend's daughter has twins (7 months old and gorgeous - non identical girls but very alike) but she sometimes gets a bit tired of people "oohing and aahing" at them and feels like putting a note on the pram saying

YES they are twins, YES both girls, NO not identical YES they are very alike YES I'm sure they aren't identical YES I have got my hands full....

But my friend loves all the attention they get when she has them and I like it too!

[mandy214]

I agree. Inane questions all the time. But you know what, there is something to be said for complete strangers stopping you to tell you how beautiful your babies are when you've had 2 hours sleep and how lucky you are. It usually came with some cliché such as 'double trouble' or BOGOF but it was the lift I needed some days.

We never had terrible twos at all - although they were hard work when they turned 3. Every Child is different - twins make that abundantly clear

[NettleFarseer]

How exciting.

My twins are 5 years old now.the first few months are hard but so very very worth it.

Agree with other poster about when they start babbling with each other.there are no words

Good luck Op

[noiwontstoptalking]

Oh btw the way OP the answer to the 'double trouble' comment is 'twice as nice'. Every. single. time.

[goldglittershitter]

I usually retort with "double the cuddles" ,noiwont . I will add ur "twice as nice" to my repertoire tho, mix it up a little!

[noiwontstoptalking]

gold I got a bit fed up of people saying it in front of my children when they were fully old enough to understand the insult.

People are usually just being thoughtless rather than meaning to be rude but it is annoying.

[Darcourse]

You lot have got me in tears!

I'll keep thinking 'twice as nice' it might help me get used to the idea!

I'm also worried that DS will be 'left out' of any special bond they may have

And nothing is even certain yet! I'm only 6 weeks! I have had previous losses and would normally be a bag of nerves about even getting to the twelve week stage!

Kickedin - two gestational sacs and yolk sacs were seen.

Also thanks noiwontstop for the advice re the TAMBA website - I'll have a look.

[Darcourse]

*and two heartbeats

[jenhad84]

I can only echo what everyone else has said and to say that whilst it's incredibly hard work you will feel like the luckiest person alive! Having twins is like winning the baby lottery!

There will be days where your exhausted and not sure you can do anymore! Then there will be moment of pure joy at seeing them interact with each other! It's completely worth all the hard work!

Plus you will never need a gym membership again!

Looking back at my pregnancy it was full of unnecessary worry. They call you high risk right from the word go! Don't let it get to you, try and relax and don't stress, easier said than done ey!

[noiwontstoptalking]

Oh yes, Jen is right I dropped 3 dress sizes after having my twins!

[noiwontstoptalking]

I know several twin families with one or two older siblings, everyone seems to get in very well. Older siblings get lots of hero worship from two adoring toddlers.

[bornofdust]

Dacourse I found out on Tuesday afternoon that I'm 8 weeks pregnant with fraternal twins (same as you?) and I'm feeling EXACTLY the same thing!

We went in, because my symptoms over the weekend were very different from my first pregnancy (DD nearly 4) - lots of pain and lightheadedness, light bleeding...I really was expecting the worst. The news we received was pretty much the exact opposite of what I was expecting to hear! Once I saw the two foetal sacs I had my hands over my face for the rest of the scan in shock!!

I am so worried about how we will cope, but we'll just have to. And I'm worried about how tired I'm already feeling compared with last time. I can see CBeebies time for my DD extending everyday until she has square eyes if I'm not careful!

We've recently moved to a new part of the country, so don't have any friends or family locally for support, though I know our loved ones will do all they can when they can. I've already decided to be as proactive as I can be (given all I want to do is sleep right now) and find a TAMBA group or NCT twins group to meet other people who have gone through or are going through the same thing. And I liked kickedinthetits point about lowering expectations...I'm planning on putting pride to one side for the next 18 years.

I have an older sister who has four grown-up children, she had identical twins when her two older ones were 4 and 2. Out of everyone in my family she is the calmest, most laid back and gentle personality. I don't remember her always being like this: it came as a result of just having to change gear as a mum of so many little ones. Her children all have a great bond and the older ones have always had the twins under their wings. Among the shock, I am finding their family dynamic quite comforting.

Do you want to know the most ridiculous thing? I'm one of those control freak women, who always had a plan for the age gaps between her children. My DH and I agreed on two basic things when it came to our family: no double buggies and no two members of the family in nappies at the same time. HA!! Best laid plans hey?