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Fostering twins

(18 Posts)
Sugardust Sun 24-Nov-13 19:27:54

Hi I have on Thursday got myself twin girls age 9 wks. I am fostering them for the foreseeable future and was hoping for some advice. When they are both crying for attention is it better to just leave them in their chairs and talk to them? I don't want to have to pick them up every time they cry because I have three kids of my own who will also need my time. I am a bit nervous as tomorrow is my first day totally on my own with them. I am very lucky and have a cleaner to come in to help out.

bundaberg Sun 24-Nov-13 19:32:04

I don't have twins, but at 9 weeks they are not crying for attention! they need comfort, esp if they've had a tough start in life. They surely need cuddles??

TheBreastmilksOnMe Sun 24-Nov-13 19:34:35

Seriously? At 9 weeks old they need loads of cuddles and attention especially considering their circumstances. If you are feeling overwhelmed already then you shouldn't be offering them a place.

DoingTheSwanThing Sun 24-Nov-13 19:38:17

Of course cuddle! Hope the agency are providing suitable training/support. Twins are hard work, but brilliant fun. Slings are your friend for the kind of moments you describe.

RiverSongsCervix Sun 24-Nov-13 19:41:08


9 weeks and you are going to refuse to comfort them when they cry?


Artandco Sun 24-Nov-13 19:44:47

I suggest you get a decent sling you can use indoors and outdoors so you can hold one hands free and pick up the other

I think you have to pick them both up, not leave them at that age. Otherwise you can try picking up one, and soothing the other in a bouncer/ on mat

Geckos48 Sun 24-Nov-13 19:47:34

If you are really placing your own family needs above those of two children whose attachment has been rocked and need a firm attachment to someone in order to base their whole lives relationships then you should Not be fostering.

Surely the LA have vetted your family and established you do have the time to offer these babies the attention they need right now?

Sugardust Sun 24-Nov-13 19:49:22

Oh my maybe I put that across the wrong way what I meant was how am I going to lift them at the same time? Of course I am going to comfort them! I just mean at the times when I'm making dinner and doing home works at the same time.

Madlizzy Sun 24-Nov-13 19:50:08

Pick them up and just cuddle them as much as you can. You've got a lovely opportunity to enjoy these babies without the crippling exhaustion from having given birth to them. Yes, there are times when you're not going to be able to attend to their needs immediately, but mainly cuddle, and then cuddle some more.

Artandco Sun 24-Nov-13 19:52:55

Just try and get them into a routine. Then if they nap after lunch try making dinner then so it just needs reheating, and try to establish nap after school pick up maybe so you have a little time to help with homework. Otherwise do homework help with one in each hand ( your helping not doing it), and batch cook and freeze so you can take out on days you don't get time, or eat pesto pasta a fair bit!

RandomMess Sun 24-Nov-13 19:57:07

How old are your dc, can they help with cuddling whilst you're cooking?

Any chance of borrowing baby swings to see if the motion helps comfort them?

Other thought - a suitable sling so one is being cuddled in that?

Sugardust Sun 24-Nov-13 19:59:52

Thanks I have a moby I think that's what it's called I could use that it worked well with the other little ones I have had. I think once I get a routine going I'll be fine.sorry to have annoyed a few people with the way I might have put this post across. It wasn't my intention for people to think I couldn't cope or foster.

Geckos48 Sun 24-Nov-13 20:27:07

A moby would be a great idea smile

Sorry to sound flabberghasted but the idea of those poor little kids left crying after all they must have already been through was just too much.

AryaofhouseQuark Sun 24-Nov-13 20:29:05

Hi, I get what you're saying. Cuddling them at the same time shouldn't be a problem, they are quite small, at that age so you can cuddle them both at the same time.
The problematic time is when they both want feeding at the same time. Were they full term or do they have a corrected age ? I found it really hard to feed them at the same time when they were very small, but mine were prem and had colic and reflux so that didn't help.

I found there would be times when you did have to look after one while the other cried, swinging chairs and dummies helped us. Not everyone would approve but it got us through some very hard times.

Madlizzy Sun 24-Nov-13 20:32:14

You've not annoyed me, and I got where you're coming from. If you can learn to feed them both at the same time, that'll make a big difference to you. I used to have one of mine lengthways on my lap (feet at my stomach) and one propped on a cushion down the side of me on the sofa with a bottle in the mouth of each baby. They were small enough for me to scoop them on to my shoulder to wind whilst still feeding the other. Routine will help massively.

AryaofhouseQuark Sun 24-Nov-13 20:36:50

Yy to what madlizzy said, I came off my bloody useless phone so I could type a proper reply.
Getting the knack of feeding them at the same time really will help. Lots of different people find different things work for them. I used a breast feeding cushin (was mixed feeding and used it for both)
It will be hard at first but you will find a way of doing things that worked for you.

Sugardust Sun 24-Nov-13 21:15:54

Thanks for advice. Lots of friends have offered to help out so I will take their help with pick ups from school so I can stay home with babies. The girls have lovely rocking chairs and play gyms. So I have plenty to keep them entertained.

MultipleMama Sun 24-Nov-13 23:30:08

One word; sling! Possibly a moby wrap as you can carry both on the front. It'll give them comfort and offer you free hands for the things you need to do.

Twins are overwhelming, trust me but if you can't use a sling try musical bouncers and swings. Simple things like vibrations and sound can comfort a child in those hectic situations. Maybe even let your children help by interacting with them or holding (if they're old enough) just until you can spare a free hand.

Fostering is a wonderful thing. We'd love to do it but we have 6 children and 2 are preemies who need extra attention. Maybe in the future, though.

It's amazing what you're doing and congrats on your girls smile

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