Single mummy to 11 month old twin girls. Any other twin single mums out there?? X

[Mandevi]

Hello. I am new to mumsnet so pls forgive me for the waffling. Will try and keep this short! I have had a pretty rough time with my twins father, before, during and after pregnancy. I was madly in love with my partner who I was friends with for 3 yrs but relationship for a year, desperately wanted to give him the children he so desperately wanted (he is ten yrs older than me 41). He is into his music, drugs and his friends and has always put them before me. I thought that would change and it didnt. He promised me over and over and we tried over and over only to go back to square one. In my pregnancy I felt so emotionally abused by him that I ended up fleeing my home and stayed in a womens refuge until the end of my pregnancy. I relocated and started a new life and he came back into it when the twins were born. But it started again and he brings out the worst in me. I look after my babies everyday and night alone apart from 2 nights on the weekend my darling mother helps me out with them. Life is very tough and lonely as I dont know anyone round here. I was always the most sought after girl, I used to model and live the highlife etc and he just destroyed all my confidence and made me so insecure. There is still so much anger and resentment esp as I let him see the babies when he wants in between his social life, drugs and great mates....I have always been secondary. He doesnt deserve my daughters and sometimes I wish we were together as a family but things will never change. Two babies are so hard when you are alone, but I love them to the ends of the earth they are my life and the greatest gift. I would love to meet a gorgeous guy eventually but I doubt any men would be interested in me now as I have children.....dont really know the point of this message but thanks anyway xxx

[threecurrantbuns]

Not in your position but didn't want to not respond. Having one baby alone must be so hard let alone twins. So I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for having the courage to leave and provide for your girls. I'm sure its hard but will hopefully get easier for you. Glad you have your mum around for support. And your confidence will come back im sure really takes a drop with most women at some point after a baby Ime

[holidays2010]

Im not a single parent but because of dps work sometimes hes away for weeks at a time and with 4month old twins and a 5yo it can be hard especially when i have no family to help out so i can sympathise.
Are there any mother and baby groups local to you? alot of twin mums recomend tamba too.
As for your ex - imo youve got to keep him away you dont want your girls thinking his behavior is alright.

And as for finding a new man theres no hurry, enjoy your babies, make new friends and take everything slowly. ive no doubt youl find romance once youre ready.

[Mandevi]

Ah thankyou so much for your lovely messages. Funnily enough over the past few days I have had a surge of strength and confidence and am feeling much more positive. I think all of you mums are a complete inspiration to me. You are all awesome. X

[AtLongLast]

Good luck Mandevi! Before our boys were born whenever I got freaked by how difficult things might be I'd think of my friend who is a single mum to 5, youngest 2 are id girls. She was & is my inspiration. Things have been very tough for her at times but she does a fab job.