Twins with reflux plus 2 year old

[BagofHolly]

Our twins are 5 months old, one has "ordinary" reflux and the other has bad silent reflux. They are lovely, but not easy babies. They cry a LOT but we're under a good paediatrician and things are slowly getting better. Add in a fab but demanding two year old and it's v v tough. I think both i and DH have a bit of PND. ge said tonight he doesn't feel like he's bonded with them, certainly nothing like the way he was with our first child. I'm so worried about him, there doesn't seem to be any other dads in the same position. Even the people we know from twins club either have only got twins, not the toddler, and don't have to deal with reflux.
If he (or both of us) go to the docs I don't see what they can do. I know ADs work but I've yet to hear of anyone who has been treated successfully AND was able to come off them easily. It all seems rather hopeless. What should we do?

[PrincessScrumpy]

dd1 had reflux (she's now 3) and I'm now pg with twins. I'm really hoping the twins won't have relux! dd1 was on gaviscon which helped a little but the biggest difference I found was putting dd1 on solids. It seemed to settle a lot and she became a different baby. I did this at 17w and 1 day. We also found Boots own brand gripe water helped. It's apple flavoured so I think it just got rid of the nasty taste.

I've also read that baby beanbags are really good for reflux but I think they're only for up to 6months(?).

You may well have PND (I don't have experience of this) but it might simply be sleep deprivation and it is hard to bond with a baby that constantly cries. dd1 was such a grumpy baby, but once we got throught the 1st 6months, dd was so much more fun. Don't give up hope - it does get better. xx

If you're worried about pnd go and talk to your gp. Try to talk openly with dh and support each other - you'll get through it.

[GibberingGinger]

It's really tough and I can sympathise. We have DD who is now 3.5 (2.5 when the boys arrived) and Boy twins 1yo. We are only beginning to feel a bit more sane now I think. The first year is a bit of a firefight, I felt we just coped and nothing was ever done properly.

WRT the reflux, hopefully proper medication will help. One of my boys had terrible reflux and gaviscon didn't help. Domperidone and Ranitidine did. Also boots gripe water (though it's a nightmare to get down them). Like PS says, time does help. As does solids, which isn't long away now.

As for PND, I took antidepressants, and I actually think DH should have too. I took the ADs (Citalopram) from 6-12 months after DD was born and then 0-10 months after the DTs were born. I found they really took the edge off things, stopped me feeling overwhelmed. And I found them easy to stop.

How much family support do you have? Do you go to many toddler groups with your older child? I would try to concentrate on the children, and getting as much help as possible from family who can prehaps prepare meals, do washing, or just mind the twins whist you nip to the park for 30 minutes with the 2yo. If possible get someone to babysit for an evening, and stay over, so you and DH can have a quick meal out, and then get a decent nights sleep.

But it does get better. Once the reflux dies down a bit, and they sleep a bit more. And at 5 months that will be soon.

[kochanski]

Just saw this and had to reply. I also had twins when my older DD was just turned 2. The boys both had reflux and cried a lot. On top of that we were building a new house and moved in when they were 2 months old. My DH was at that time working in a job where he was away (abroad) for up to 10 days out of every 14!

We both had a very hard time of it and don't really have many good memories of that first 6 months of their lives (which I'm sad about). In fact I think I've blocked a lot of it out. I wish that at the time I had asked for more help but my response was just to assure everyone I was doing great and not go out much. At least I had my mum fairly near and she was able to come and help me.

It took until about 6 months for the boys to improve a bit with the reflux, sleeping etc. I think starting solid food helped a lot. Having said that even at a year they would often throw up their dinners.

Mine are now 5 and they are a joy. Easier than a singleton I reckon. What I'm saying is this will pass. It gets easier and easier. And do ask for help. You and your DH will get through this and you will be stronger for it.

[harrygracejessica]

I had girl twins when DS was 15 months and they both had reflux and it was hell!!! I ended up with PND as so stressed about the sick when out and about etc but came off the ADs fine - I needed them to get back on track, they were much better when weaned and the paeds told me to do it early (they were born at 33 weeks). Gaviscon worked on them as they were already on prescibed milk cos they were prem. 5 weeks ago I had boy twins and the last 2 weeks has been a nightmare with what I thought was colic so been trying colief which hasn't worked until I saw online about silent relux so sent OH to get sma staydown and have very content babies today so off to the Docs we go on tuesday :)

Have to say the lack of sick is lovely but the screams certainly aren't!!!

It's def worth going to the Docs though, anti depressants haven't got such stigma as they used to. Hope your feeling better soon x