Sharing in-laws

[bohochick]

I have 2 children and my husband is of a different religion to me - family opposition when we married more than a decade ago. My husband's brother and wife live in same town. When in-laws visit from abroad - his brother and wife (they have 2 children also) use every excuse under the son not to have them. I work (unlike sister-in-law) have no family in the area (my mother passed away and I have no sisters and a disabled father who lives over 200 miles away) whilst sister-in -law's parents live in same town. In-laws pay for their wedding, deposit on house and refurbishment on house (in laws refused to pay for us) yet we are the ones who spend time with in laws when they visit from abroad. Sister in law and husband are into attachment parenting, home education etc and constantly carp on about what excellent parents they are and their genius children but refuse to spend any time with in-laws. Husband's brother will follow with whatever his wife does. have talked/argued with sister-in-law who states she has no time to spend with in-laws. Hubby does not wish to get involved with conflict stating his brother is a grown man and should make his own decisions.

How can we share responsibility amicably -have had discussions over last decade but no joy.

Am grieving over loss of my beloved mother and have no family to help with childcare - just me and hubby.