blue spot

[tjgx]

Hi every1 hope ur new year going good...well ive just come home...im sooooooooo angry no iput it another way...i would really love to punch some1..good start 2 the new yr..my ds is 6 months you can tell he is mixed race..im white x is mixed race..well 2nite ds had the biggest runniest poo i had ever seen hahaha it was everywhere,,had 2 totally strip him off was at friends hse loads off people there.iwas in n out of the bathroom washing him etc...took him bk 2 bedroom..as i left towel in there..he was in my arms naked..4 women at the top of stairs having a natter...they made comments oo hes lovely then 1 says ooooooooo had did he get that awful bruise on his bk....i just held my breath they all looked at me like i did something 2 him..i just snapped at her n said thats called blue spot u stupid white spot..it rolled out couldnt help it..i know alot of white ppl dont know that mixed race children have these..n i know it can look like a bruise..but i didnt know how 2 react 2 comment..it was they way she said it that wacked me off..i myself didnt know about blue spot until x told me...my ds back n bum all blue..but her comments hurt..im used with people asking me is he mixed im wasnt prepared for this one..it really hurt has any body else had 2 deal with these comments n how did u handle it x

[Mytwopenceworth]

Yes, I have had to handle it. My friend used to babysit, and the first time she changed ds2 nappy, she saw his blue spots, and she asked me had he fallen or something because she noticed he had a lot of bruises. She was very nice about it, but I could tell she was concerned at the possibility I had beaten him! - they are very extensive, all over his buttocks, up his back and he also has a mark on his arm that looks for all the world like he has been poked really hard, and one on his inner wrist. I was quite happy to explain to her, she cared enough to risk our friendship for his sake, and it made me respect her even more.

I can understand that if you feel someone is suggesting you have hurt your child you feel angry, but very few people know about blue spots, they do look like very bad bruising and I personally would rather people ask.

It is people feeling they can't ask questions or challenge, that means that many children who ARE being abused don't get rescued. I would rather people challenge a hundred people who have an explanation like ours if the 101 is actually beating their child and gets stopped.

I understand your hurt and I sympathise, but maybe you can try to change your thoughts to - someone cared enough to ask??

[misdee]

my dd3 is whiter than white but she has blue spots as well. my family are of romany descent. i have asked the HV to note it in my dd3 book that she has a blue spot radiation across her bum. (it is more noticable just on the creases, but covers the whole of her bottom at the back.) if anyone asks about her 'bruised' bottom i just tell them.

[tjgx]

Hi all...thanks alot for ur advice..i know that i should have handled it alot wiser than i did..i just snapped cause the lady snapped at me..n i should have been the better 1 as to explain it..and ur rite its good if some1 questions it just incase a child is abused...please keep the comments coming it would be good 2 hear diff storys n the way u all have handled it..many thanks x

[pinkmagic1]

Havn't really had any problems, as I am always careful to explain to people that are going to be looking after DS. When he was a few months old my own mother did comment, although I had already expalined the marks to her (she must have forgotten). I don't think for one moment she thought I had hurt him but was just concerned that he had, had some sort of accident.