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Missed miscarriage...any advice please

(27 Posts)
Sh4mmy Mon 03-Aug-20 11:53:02

Hi!! Not really sure why I'm posting here but I need an outlet!

Found our 3 weeks ago I was pregnant, about 5+3 but the week before I'd had some bleeding and spotting and so I asked for an early scan, due to also having a MMC 2 yrs before and being 41!

Anyway the scan last Monday showed a sac measuring at 4/5 weeks but no heartbeat so they took my bloods, I'm 90% my dates were right and so by this point I should've been 6+3. Got the call on Monday afternoon saying HCG levels were good and I needed them done again on Weds! So on Weds I had them redone but unfortunately my HCG levels hadn't risen enough and so they wanted to do a rescan on Friday! I went in on Friday, still no heartbeat and the sac measuring the same as before! As you can imagine I am heartbroken, but they wouldn't let me decide the next steps until I have another scan on Friday!

Anyway, I decided that I wanted to have surgery to remove the pregnancy, however today I've started very light spotting....can anyone advise how long this might take please?

I had a MMC 2 years ago and I had the medical removal (pessary and tablets) which I found the passing of the baby so horrific...with this happening naturally now, will it be the same?

Sorry for the poor writing of this, I'm trying to be quick and not cry as I don't want my kids to see me upset xx

OP’s posts: |
[AUTO]kstltkcnsu271 Mon 03-Aug-20 15:03:13

I'm so sorry for your loss, my situation is same as yours, our first miscarriage but a missed one, I took have surgical procedure (MVA)and have had very light spotting today and procedure due tomorrow. I am hoping it doesn't get any worse and going to avoid telling hospital as I don't want to go through the miscarriage at home. I hope you are ok. It's the worst thing I've ever been through xx

Sh4mmy Mon 03-Aug-20 15:49:51

@[AUTO]kstltkcnsu271 aww sorry to hear you're going through this too! My hospital won't rescan me until Friday and only then will they offer me a procedure or intervention, which I'm gutted about as I really didn't want to do this naturally!

You're right though this really is the worse thing ever!!

Big hugs to you and if you need to speak to someone I'm here x

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Mon 03-Aug-20 15:55:09

@Sh4mmy I have read this a lot, I don't think the midwife wanted me to take the surgical option but I was pretty strong with her. I just couldn't be scanned for a 4th time and see what was going on AGAIN and hear the silence and the sorrys etc. I also am hopefully this way means it's over with hospital visits etc.
I hope you are ok, we should have the right to choose how we move forward with this, it's a massive process physically and emotionally and I think the more prolonged it is the bigger impact on mental health xxx

Sh4mmy Mon 03-Aug-20 20:23:44

@GillyD83 ah really?? Last time it happened to me they gave me the pills and pessary straight away but that was through BPAs!

It's heartbreaking that we've had to go through this as it is, without having to relive it every week until we can finally decide on how we want it to move forward! I now have to go back on Friday, although I've started to bleeding today and now my eldest kids have seen me upset and I don't know how long it will take! I knew on Friday how I wanted to move forward with this, I wanted the surgical procedure but they wouldn't budge!

You're 100% right we should have the right to decide how we move forward, we know our own bodies and minds! X

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Mon 03-Aug-20 20:44:18

@Sh4mmy I hope you are ok and this goes as smoothly and quickly as possible for you xxx

CupcakesK Mon 03-Aug-20 20:53:57

I’m so sorry. When I had my MMC at first I waited In between scan, but a few days after spotting and severe cramps nothing had happened. So then I had the tablets and like your previous experience, that was horrendous and still didn’t work. So then I had surgery - wish I had gone for this first time round as was in and out of hospital in 5-6 hours and no pain

I also had to wait a week between scans, I think they do this to be certain and to see if it happens naturally. Can you call them as it’s started already to see if they can move up your treatment?

Sh4mmy Mon 03-Aug-20 22:36:59

@GillyD83 thank you, I really hope it passes quickly as I'm finding it so hard! X

OP’s posts: |
Sh4mmy Mon 03-Aug-20 22:38:48

@CupcakesK sorry to hear you've also beeN through this! I'm worried this is going to happen to me, also another reason I wanted the surgery!
I'm not even at home, we came away for a few days and am a 5 hour drive from home, but I will call my EPU tomorrow, I can drive back if I need to x

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Thu 06-Aug-20 20:17:58

@Sh4mmy how are you now xxx

Vik81 Thu 06-Aug-20 20:30:05

This very thing has just happened to me 2 weeks ago. I thought I was past 8 weeks, early scan after a fall indicated 5 weeks 5 days, was going to be rescanned but my miscarriage started a few days later. Lots of period type blood for 3 days, 4 hours of a lot of pain on the toilet (sorry if that's tmi) then 3 days of period type blood again. I've had all three types of miscarriage now pills, surgery and natural. I would say surgery was the easiest but as you are so early and it's already started by the time you get booked in I bet you will be half way through it. Thinking of you x

Sh4mmy Thu 06-Aug-20 22:33:38

Hi @GillyD83 I'm ok thank you, my teeny bit of spotting has basically stopped and so I'm hoping after my scan tomorrow I can get things moving. Whilst I'm heartbroken, knowing I'm know longer growing a baby inside me but that it's still there, is breaking me down, I feel like I've lost a bit of myself!

How are you xx

OP’s posts: |
Sh4mmy Thu 06-Aug-20 22:35:25

@Vik81 really sorry to hear you've been through this too!

As I've barely had any bleeding, literally a little spotting when I go for a wee, I am hoping they will give me surgery as I can't bear the emotional pain of passing a pregnancy again!

I will find out more at my scan tomorrow.

How are you now x

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Thu 06-Aug-20 22:52:47

@Sh4mmy I'm ok, 2 days since surgery and pain is almost away and no bleeding. I'm taking all herbal options to help body repair.
I had spotting before my surgery, I didn't tell them, was no way I was going home to wait xxx

Sh4mmy Fri 07-Aug-20 07:11:34

Hi @GillyD83 pleased to hear you're doing ok, as ok as you can be!

I've just woken up and am properly bleeding when I wee, I don't know whether to cancel appointment or still go as I don't want to do this naturally!

Hope you feel even better by the end of the day xx

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Fri 07-Aug-20 07:45:11

@Sh4mmy if it's not on your pants etc hopefully you can go and get it over with. Good luck, let me know how it goes xx x

Sh4mmy Fri 07-Aug-20 08:20:49

@GillyD83 ah thank you, yep it's only when I go to the loo really, I'm wearing a pad just in case but I'll see what they say today! Will let you know how I get on x

OP’s posts: |
Sh4mmy Fri 07-Aug-20 11:01:48

Hi everyone! Most got back from my scan, no growth or heartbeat, as suspected, baby stopped developing at 5 weeks and I would've been 8 weeks today!

I had the medical management in the end as I didn't want to wait a week for surgery! Just had the first 4 pessarys and so really hope they start to work quickly!

Thanks to everyone who's checked in on me!

Feeling very tired and emotional xx

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Fri 07-Aug-20 11:46:13

Aw @Sh4mmy it's just shite!! I hope you are home and in bed with lots of things to help the process ease. I sometimes wonder if the surgical wait time is to encourage more natural options. I hope you and I meet again in another forum in the next few months xxx

Vik81 Fri 07-Aug-20 12:59:52

So sorry you had to go down this route. Hope it's quick and painless for you. X

Sh4mmy Sat 08-Aug-20 10:09:36

Thanks @Vik81 it's not been too bad so far, much better than last time when the baby grew to 8 weeks x

OP’s posts: |
Sh4mmy Sat 08-Aug-20 10:12:11

Thanks @GillyD83 , so far it's not been too bad, I'm about to take my next lot of pessarys, well insert them, and am hoping it's not too bad after this!

I think you're right on the wait time for surgery, I'm upset as that's what I wanted but was made to wait another week for a re scan to confirm the baby had definitely not progressed!

Yes fingers crossed we both get to meet on another forum soon, although I'm not sure I can go through this for a third time xx

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Sat 08-Aug-20 12:49:06

@Sh4mmy it's awful, take time to recover I've been trying to drink lots of raspberry leaf tea, started the caster oil packs and have booked reflexology and acupuncture! Feel like I'm OTT but also feel like I'm doing everything I can to get my cycle back and make sure it's a nice comfy home for next time we ttc! X

Sh4mmy Sat 08-Aug-20 15:05:47

Thanks @GillyD83 that's actually a really good idea, I didn't think of that! I'm so emotional right now but also feel numb if that makes sense! I'm hell to live with, I really don't feel myself and I'm scared I won't get the old me back!!

Hope you ok today xx

OP’s posts: |
GillyD83 Sat 08-Aug-20 16:27:23

@Sh4mmy I'm ok but think it's cause I'm taking control and doing everything I can to keep myself well and not letting myself worry about what might happen next. Feel like it's helping me put myself in the driving seat xx

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