Hi all,
Reading peoples experiences on mumsnet has honestly helped me through the last couple of weeks, so I wanted to share my experience in the hope of helping others.
I am 27 years old and I fell pregnant with my first baby in September 2019. Me and my husband wanted a baby and thankfully we got lucky first time round. Fast forward to our 12 week scan, we got the dreaded call to say the screening test showed an increased risk for downs. We were booked in the following day for amnio with the consultant. He felt we should do the harmony test as the nuchal was extremely thin and within normal range and didn't want to risk miscarriage from amnio. We did the harmony (£350) and everything came back fine. Though very stressful, that hurdle was over. Now I could relax.
I was enjoying my pregnancy and then our 20 week scan came. Again with a consultant. Once the scanning was over, we heard the dreaded words ‘significant issues’. Not only did it appear that a part of the brain was missing but our baby was extremely small. There had been bleeding in the placenta which they assumed is what caused the growth to be affected. Her brain condition appeared to be Dandy Walker syndrome. It was heartbreaking but the consultants said we needed further tests before making any serious decisions. They wanted to monitor the growth over the next 2-4 weeks, as well as get a fetal MRI done for the brain. Fast forward to 24 weeks, the MRI results confirmed brain condition and she still didn’t grow enough. We were told even if her brain was okay, her chances of surviving were slim due to her size. It was such a difficult decision but we agreed to have a medical termination. The consultants then agreed we made the best choice.
We came in on Monday 2 March 2020 to put the baby to sleep with an injection to her heart. Also an amnio at the same time. This was so hard emotionally. My husband held my hand and reassured me and it was all over in about 20 minutes. It was a little painful but you get through it. I then took pills to stop my hormones and was booked to come back on Wednesday to be induced. Please don’t worry if you think you feel the baby move afterwards, I did but was told it’s because the baby is still in there and the waters move around.
On Wednesday we arrived at the hospital and were given the most wonderful room which was fully equipped. The service we received from the NHS was something I will never forget. I was given first pill internally like a pessary at 3.30pm. Mild period pains started. Next pills every 3 hours and pains became more painful so I started morphine. I opted for this over an epidural. It got me through. I took my third and final oral pill at 12.30am which is when contractions were severe. I finally bled a bit and just when I requested stronger pain relief, I went into labour. Our baby came out in around 5-10 minutes after a few pushes. The placenta came out seconds later. The pain immediately goes. I had so much morphine I could barely keep my eyes open. We agreed that the midwives would take our daughter away to see how she looks before we saw her. They told us her skin was dark red but otherwise she was fine. We saw her and she was beautiful. We love her so much and we will treasure that moment forever. The next morning we asked to see her again. They had put her in a white dress and we got to say goodbye. It was more emotional as the morphine had worn off but I would have regretted not seeing her. She was perfect but I know we made the right choice to save her from any suffering. They gave us footprints and we took photos of her hand. We agreed to full post mortem which will take 8-10 weeks and then she will be cremated.
After returning home on Thursday 5 March 2020, I cried uncontrollably. I’d never felt sadness like it. I thought it would never stop. It’s now Wednesday 11 March 2020 and I feel better. I’ve stopped crying and I’m much stronger. My husband has been so supportive and so have our family. Time is a healer I promise you. We will never forget our daughter and the pain is always there but you learn to live with it. Life must go on and you have to be positive. Good luck to all going through this experience. We are hoping to conceive again but we will wait until all the results are back. I hope I’ve helped somehow. Please ask if you have any questions about my experience. I would like to help anyone if I can.
Our hospital was Chelsea and Westminster. Thank you to all the staff there who looked after us. You are truly amazing.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Medical termination at 24 weeks due to abnormalities
17 replies
bigheartlittleheart · 11/03/2020 12:04
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