Chemical Pregnancy - how did you feel during/after?

[Hardheadedwoman39]

Hi,

Brief outline - had mirena coil removed, horrible heavy ten day bleed, took medication to stop it, next thing I know I'm pregnant with no proper period in between. I have no idea how many weeks I was could be 3 or 5....
I got the positive test last Thursday and positive tests everyday until Monday. Then later on Monday I started spotting and then bleeding a lot more yesterday and today.

It wasn't planned. It would have been number four....I felt relieved yesterday but now desperately sad.
My partner is gutted and really struggling...

Any experiences of I'd really appreciate hearing...
Thank you xx

[Bananaloaf88]

@Hardheadedwoman39 Hi.

I recently had a chemical pregnancy. I am a teacher and I found out about the miscarriage the weekend before school went back (I'm up in Scotland).

At first I wanted to go on as normal. I went to work and now two weeks in I am struggling to cope. I didn't take the time to heal and I really feel drained in all aspects of my life.

I am a bit of a perfectionist and like to keep busy but what I really needed was to slow down and chill. Yesterday I broke down and after speaking to several people, including my boss have taken the rest of the week off and plan to go and see the doctor tomorrow.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to respond. I know people go through worse and I feel guilty for even feeling the way I do. But the writing is on the wall I can't keep chugging along as if it never happened.

When I spoke to DH yesterday about it, he felt the same but had been trying to act strong because he thought I was "coping" so well. I don't think you can predict how your body will react.

I had spent 3 weeks with positive test results and was 100% sure I was going to be one of the lucky ones. Going from planning for a baby to nothing has definitely drained me.

[Hardheadedwoman39]

Hi @Bananaloaf88

Thank you for your reply 😊
I used to be a teacher know exactly how hard and overwhelming it must have been walking back into the classroom after this. Having to raise your game when you're utterly unsure how you feel is exhausting. I'm glad that you and your husband have come to the realisation that you need to give yourselves proper time to absorb what's happened.

It's knocked us both completely as it wasn't planned, then we started getting our heads around it and then it was over.

I've spoken to the doctor and they think I should have a scan as my dates are unknown...

Sending you a hug...also I recommend acupuncture as a good health reset after such a huge upheaval for your body (& mind) x

[Bananaloaf88]

@Hardheadedwoman39 I can totally relate to you. We were "trying" but not 100% as we have home renovations underway. So I was also shocked but then became used to the idea & got really excited (it would've been our first) so now I don't really know how to think or live my life. It is really weird I spent 4 weeks living as a pregnant woman and was probably only pregnant for 2 of those if that. I think you're allowed to feel how you feel. It all takes time.