I'm so sorry but I need to vent because i don't know who to talk to: This was our first time pregnant (I'm 25) and we were so excited for our ten week ultrasound. When we went we were told that there was no heart beat and that i had to have a d&c. We were and are in shock and devastated. We reached out to his family and my family for support. I am just so numbed by his families response and it has caused more pain and guilt. (To clarify they are usually very loving and supportive.) They were so upset that i would do a d&c instead of natural and said it was unnatural and should be avoided at all costs. They said I should have done it natural so we would have our babies body in one piece and described to me how horrible the actions are of a d&c. This was before the surgery and i was shaking with guilt and sadness of what would have to happen. We told them that my doctor would only allow a d&c due to medical reasons and that started them blaming my pcos and endometriosis and claiming I caused the baby to die and that i should have waited until i was healthier so i wasn't killing my baby. I already felt like it was my fault but now it is crippling and I don't want to tell anyone else about our miscarriage because I feel so guilty. It has been two days since the surgery and none of his brothers or sisters have reached out. We know from family friends that his parents told all family and friend of our miscarriage and while telling about it blamed my health for the babies death. Our doctor reassured me many times that the baby had been healthy up to the point of the heart stopping and to not blaming myself but now I can't stop blaming me. I can see how isolated my husband feels and i feel that way too and I just want to apologize to the whole world that i miscarried my baby and at the same time i want to to yell at everyone that it wasn't my fault.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
First miscarriage and others blaming my health for my miscarriage
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Epratt · 17/02/2019 09:55
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