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Support for family after MC

(5 Posts)
GoodbyeToBerlinerWeiss Sat 28-Jul-18 15:04:02

Hello there,

I have found out that my brother and sister-in-law have had a miscarriage. They have been TTC for some time. They are devastated.

I have signed up to MN as I would like some advice on what I could do to support. I am clueless. I know no gesture can make up for their loss, but is there anything I could arrange for them, or send them? My heart is broken for them.

We're not the most communicative bunch, but should I be checking in more frequently/daily? Is there anything I should/shouldn't be saying? So far, I'm just trying to tell them they are loved.

Thank you, I feel like an emotional dum-dum.

OP’s posts: |
snowy29 Sun 29-Jul-18 16:54:39

Sorry to hear of your brother and sister in laws loss @GoodbyeToBerlinerWeiss

I had a miscarriage almost 2 weeks ago. We hadn't been TTC for very long but it really shook us. Most of our friends have been really supportive, but a few have barely even acknowledged it and that has been really upsetting. But it sounds like you are doing a great job on checking in on them.

Maybe cook them a meal or drop round something easy to pop in the oven. Or offer to do some shopping for them. These are things my husband and I really didn't feel like doing in the first few days.

In terms of things not to say, one line I've had a few times is "at least you know you can conceive". I really haven't appreciated this!

Good on you for doing all you can to support them through this time xx

GoodbyeToBerlinerWeiss Sun 29-Jul-18 17:20:31

Thank you @snowy29, and I am sorry to hear what you have been through.

Unfortunately, I am in another country (I should have mentioned that, durr) - I thought one of those meal subscription services, or perhaps I could do an online shop of treats and quality ready meals, might be an idea?

Thank you again for your kind words. They are both being very strong, but it has been a tough journey. I am sending you and your partner good energy for the future. Be kind to yourselves!

OP’s posts: |
GoodbyeToBerlinerWeiss Sun 29-Jul-18 17:22:51

Oh and I completely understand about not chiming up about 'at least you can conceive'. I would worry it would gloss over the loss they are currently experiencing, but I wasn't sure.

OP’s posts: |
snowy29 Sun 29-Jul-18 19:53:38

Thank you @GoodbyeToBerlinerWeiss thanks

A friend has previously sent me some brownies from - they were the best brownies ever! Might be an idea if you are overseas and want to send something other than flowers.

Sending well wishes for your brother and sister in law too xx

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