miscarriage following IVF

[angelfire]

I lost my baby following my 5th and final attempt at IVF. We saw the heartbeart at the 7 week scan. The day after that I started bleeding and 3 days later a further scan confirmed that there was no heartbeat. This happened 2 weeks ago
I do have a little boy (now nearly 4 following my 2nd IVF cycle)
I cannot do any more IVF. I am just wrung out emotionally, physically and financially. Plus I am 40 and the stats are not good. We have ruled other treatment (ED etc) and have decided that adoption/fostering etc is not for us
But I am so very very sad. I can't stop crying and thinking of what might have been. To know that I will never be pregnant again, that my boy will never have a sibling, that I will never see the baby that I so longed for is just breaking my heart.
Has anyone else been in this situation. How did you get through it? Thanks

[Saturn74]

I haven't been in your situation, angelfire, so I can't offer any useful advice, I'm afraid.
But I'm sorry for your loss.

[expatinscotland]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[ScoobyDooooo]

I am so sorry for your loss & heartache

[poppy34]

angelfire - I'm so very sorry for your loss. also hoping to bump this as hopefullly someone out there may have something to help.

[DelGirl]

Oh i'm so sorry angelfire. I'm almost in an identical situation but haven't suffered a recent m/c. Very sorry to hear . You know you must take heart that you have your little boy, I know, I know it's heatbreaking. It will get easier to bear. Sorry, I don't know what to say and I don't want to patronise but i've been where you are now. dh died, 5 attempts at iui, 3 & 4th pg then m/c and then dd on my 5th and final attempt thank goodness. It does take everything from you but your ds will be able to put a little of it back I promise. so sorry for your loss. Feel free to cat me if you like. xx

[triplets]

So sad for you, life is very unfair, but you may feel more positive in a few months time, grieve first. You probably know I had my triplets via ivf at 46 after the sudden death of my only child. Two attempts at ivf, then the thirsd with donated eggs, never give up, you still have time. In the meantime you have your special little boy, I would give the world to have my firstborn back, life twists and turns, I hope something positive will happen for you, lots of love, xxx

[angelfire]

Thank you so much for all your replies. I have looked through other threads and it is shocking the trauma other people go through too. Poppy 34 - thanks so much for your message at a time when you are struggling too. Triplets - wow , what a rollercoaster ride you have had. Delgirl - thanks
To everyone thanks so much - I feel a little better today. Wishing you all peace and happiness

[pen36]

Angelfire, I want to say I was very sorry to read you message. I have a little girl (4) from IUI and had IVF in April. Got pregnant. At routine scan (13 wks) was told the baby had died in the last 24 hours. Had to be induced a week later and give birth. I am struggling to make sense of everything and my emotions. Crying a lot. Feel people don't understand. I am really sorry that my daughter won't have a sibling as she is a lovely girl who would really have taken care of a brother or sister. Things make me cross easily when people say insensitive things without thinking. Anyway, I wanted to get all this off my chest. I was very moved by your message. Sorry I have not helped at all!

[theauthor]

Hi
I had a m/c after my 2nd cycle earlier this year. It is so hard. I hate it especially when people make comments such as 'isn't it time you had another one to keep ds company?'

A friend with vaguely similar circs suggested counselling - there are plenty who specialise in fertility/ m/c related issues.

Keep talking to us on here. I know there's nothing we can say that will make it better but we can listen.

[pen36]

Thank you. I will keep talking on here - it helps talking to sympathetic people who don't wish you would talk about something else!

I am not sure about counselling. I will see how it goes but may pursue it if I can't get better just with time.

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I know what you mean about the comments. We have decided not to have any more treatment.

[minster]

I lost twins (one with no hb at 7 weeks one at 14+ after a PROM) after IVF - it was our one & only chance (cycle cost well over £12,000) after ttc for 4 years. We were both absolutely devastated, I can't begin to describe how awful it was. I'd had naturally conceived miscarriages before.

Planning another pregnancy is a very important post mc coping strategy & when you feel that is not an option for you it makes the pain a million times worse. All that time & money wasted. You feel so hopeless.

I'm so sorry.

[pen36]

Hi again
i'm still reading all the messages - it definitely helps as I feel all my friends don't want to talk about it or just don't think about it. I really need to keep talking or thinking about it.
Hope everyone is OK.

[pen36]

Hi again
i'm still reading all the messages - it definitely helps as I feel all my friends don't want to talk about it or just don't think about it. I really need to keep talking or thinking about it.
Hope everyone is OK.

[Broodymomma]

I just had to reply and say how sorry i am for your loss. I lost my first baby after my second attempt at ivf and i know the utter heartbreak you are feeling. I dont really know what to say just wanted you to know you are not alone xx